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Newbie | Oh, dear Mister Fridge. Oh, dear Mister Fridge [Again, you have crossed me.] "Come in," he says, "The food is fine! The cakes and pies won't hurt a bit!" "No," I reply, "You tell me lies! They'll plump my rump! My pants won't fit!" "I promise," says My icebox friend. "It's just delicious, harmless fun! "We mean no ills To your rear end. Come on, now, try a cinnabun!" And every year, We go through this. And every year, it ends the same. With fifty pounds In weight, excess, Because desserts call out my name! Decieve me, does The Frigidaire; "I KNOW what's good for you," says he. Deep down, I know He doesn't care... He only wants to laugh at me.
__________________ ![]() [Draw me a sheep!] Last edited by kyzr; Mar 24, 2008 at 02:43 PM. Reason: Capitalization. |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to kyzr For This Useful Post: | divine_punishment (Apr 05, 2008) |
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Diamond in the Rough | Re: Oh, dear Mister Fridge. ahah this is truly beautiful^^ I'm glad that it was put in potm or else my life wouldn't have had this enjoyable moment ^^ thankyou kyzr for being so good and to whoever put it here as well ^^ As for the critical element you hold to your rhythm very well and use it effectively. |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Corvus For This Useful Post: | kyzr (Apr 01, 2008) |
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![]() Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: the sign says "in a black hole". Is that even possible?!?!
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![]() ![]() Credits: 4,899 | Re: Oh, dear Mister Fridge. Very good. I liked it. It actually made me laugh a little as I read it. Very dialougistic. . . |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to shadowrulz For This Useful Post: | kyzr (Apr 01, 2008) |
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Still pointing the sword? Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Friendly Fridley
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![]() ![]() Credits: 6,242 | Re: Oh, dear Mister Fridge. ROFLMAO! Man... I was going to submit an entry. But I don't know if I even WANT to compete with this. This is fantastic! I ought to print it. In big, bold font... and, stick it on my fridge. I certainly can relate. Damn those goodie filled refridgerators, and those with high metabolisms.. (Those people can laugh at the fridge).
__________________ I will give you a son.... |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Peach_follows For This Useful Post: | kyzr (Apr 01, 2008) |
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Newbie | Re: Oh, dear Mister Fridge. Thanks much, all! See, I went through the entries, and was annoyed that they were all about love [at the time]. So, I just wondered what other sorts of betrayal there could be... And I'm sorry to say, I am one of those people with wicked high metabolisms :S but I'm glad YOU got something out of it, Peach. [Just give me a few years, here. XD]
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![]() Chtonian Slayer Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: In the deepest, darkest place of hell.....my heart
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![]() Credits: 25,947 | Re: Oh, dear Mister Fridge. wow.........I have to say that in all my life reading poetry...this is probably the most humorous poem I have ever read...and the fact that it is so true...makes it even more unique and stand out from the rest.... the rhythm could have been a little bit better and the transitions from one couplet to another were a little bit rough in my opinion.. but over all...this is an excellent poem.
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Astaroth For This Useful Post: | kyzr (Apr 06, 2008) |
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Shining Star Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Good question . . . where am I?
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![]() ![]() Credits: 41,660 | Re: Oh, dear Mister Fridge. So accurate! So incredibly accurate. Kudos to you my friend. I am currently battling my parents' refrigerator, exceptionally glad I'm not at my apartment (because I have ice cream there and darned if I don't want it).
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| The Following User Says Thank You to divine_punishment For This Useful Post: | kyzr (Apr 06, 2008) |
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![]() Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Southern California
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![]() Credits: 21,767 | Re: Oh, dear Mister Fridge. Love the idea. Just love it. Refreshing, especially when most betrayal poems are about love... Which I'm not saying love is a bad subject, but come on, evil fridges are way cooler, right? Structure is nice, loved the little rhyming stuffs, how the words fit together, the images... |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to abby724 For This Useful Post: | kyzr (Apr 06, 2008) |
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