![]() |
| Welcome to AnimeOnline.net, your personal Anime Community! | Anime Online Rulez! |
| |||||||
![]() |
| | LinkBack | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
| | #1 (permalink) |
![]() Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: So many places... I cant remember ...
Posts: 476
Thanks: 1
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
![]() Credits: 4,564 | Phantom Wings {12/13} Ok. So I've gotten a gentle "push" back in the right direction and I have decided to post this poem again. This time I'm going to leave it up. >.< lol I feel the pull of the sky. It calls out my name. Like a sweet whisper on the wind, It lures me away. First my gaze slips. Then my thoughts stray. A smile crosses my face, As the breeze turns my way. Though the air is cool The sun warms me, Like a lovers embrace. Soon every thing else fades away. Feet at the edge, I can almost feel it. Just out of reach, The uncontrolable joy Brought on by letting go And leaving your fate in the hands of the sky. Reaching out, I feel the ready tug of the wind grip my fingers. I jump. Unburdend and free, I let the breeze guide me. The simple joy of it all wraps around me, Like Phantom Wings, Drawing me deeper into the sky.
__________________ Secret Love ![]() ![]() "Love everyone unless they dont love you back" http://z13.invisionfree.com/Deaths_d...ex.php?act=idx Last edited by KimiFemi; Dec 14, 2007 at 05:11 PM. |
| Status: Offline
|
| | #2 (permalink) |
Shining Star Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Good question . . . where am I?
Posts: 1,271
Thanks: 22
Thanked 27 Times in 22 Posts
![]() ![]() Credits: 59,274 | Re: Phantom Wings {12/13} Yay! You wrote a poem!! I loved the second stanza! I like the way the structure dissolves as you "let go." (I don't know if you planned it that way, but it works.)
__________________ |
| Status: Offline
|
| | #3 (permalink) |
![]() Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: So many places... I cant remember ...
Posts: 476
Thanks: 1
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
![]() Credits: 4,564 | Re: Phantom Wings {12/13} Yay! You wrote a comment! lol Thanks, but no I didn't intend anything for this poem I just wrote what came to my mind. I set them (my poems) up automatically and sometimes it's good and sometimes it sounds like poop lol.
__________________ Secret Love ![]() ![]() "Love everyone unless they dont love you back" http://z13.invisionfree.com/Deaths_d...ex.php?act=idx |
| Status: Offline
|
| | #4 (permalink) |
![]() Moderator Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,086
Thanks: 5
Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
![]() ![]() Credits: 3,256 | Re: Phantom Wings {12/13} The poem had some really good descriptions in it and a couple of similes that were nice. It was a nice read throughout the whole thing, so good job.
__________________ |
| Status: Offline
|
| | #5 (permalink) |
![]() Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: So many places... I cant remember ...
Posts: 476
Thanks: 1
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
![]() Credits: 4,564 | Re: Phantom Wings {12/13} Thanks Deo >.< I'm glad you liked it. lol But I'm even more happy about this month being freestyle. Hahah!
__________________ Secret Love ![]() ![]() "Love everyone unless they dont love you back" http://z13.invisionfree.com/Deaths_d...ex.php?act=idx |
| Status: Offline
|
| | #6 (permalink) |
Upcoming Legend Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility
Posts: 584
Thanks: 8
Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts
![]() ![]() Credits: 1,176 | Re: Phantom Wings {12/13} Wow Kimi, I see you let you mind wonder as it found the right words for this poem! The end rhyme at the beginning of the poem was wonderful, but towards the end you started to flow into free verse style poetry and in this particular poem it work out great! So whoever or whatever that push was I'm glad it got you in the right direction to allow us to read this! Wonderful Job!
__________________ |
| Status: Offline
|
| The Following User Says Thank You to BlueFox1 For This Useful Post: | KimiFemi (Dec 31, 2007) |
![]() |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
| |
Similar Threads | ||||
| Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
| Boogiepop Phantom | flur | Manga | 0 | Jan 13, 2007 05:09 PM |
| Mechassault: Phantom War | Baron | Sensory Pleasures | 4 | Oct 11, 2006 05:04 PM |
| Boogiepop Phantom | bugsy | The Vault | 0 | Jan 04, 2006 10:51 PM |
| Phantom Brave | dark angel swordsman | The Vault | 2 | Oct 28, 2005 03:46 PM |