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um... like how is this a poem? is it dialog? basically it seems that way
As I sit... I still remember
What went down on the 17th day of September
It was supposed to be hot, but it was cold as December
Me & my girl at my house
We had something serious to talk about
I will replay everything in my head
This is what went down on that day of dread
This is what was said:
"I apologize, I don't want you to hurt anymore"
"I'm sorry I know you heard all this before"
"Don't mean to keep doing the same ole' tricks"
"This is all my fault; this is what I get"
"Pulling you through all my bull"...
"I know you don't deserve it"
"I know you're mad, but you're too fine to be looking piss"
"If you leave me; you'll be the one I'll miss"
"I really don't mean to keep doing the same ole' this"
"I should of treated you better; instead of trying to trick"
"This is my Halloween & I am scared more than less"
"You disappearing out of my life will leave me a mess"
I found my everything, but I don't know
if it is something I can keep
Cause I knew nothing, but how to cheat
I am itching, while she is scratching cause all
she wants to do is flee...
She was feeling down, but stood up & turned
right around & left me...
Now I am chasing after her telling her...
"Wait a minute, just give me a sec', please"
She stopped & looked at her watch then said...
"Speak"
I'm like how can this be
Thinking my future is about to walk out of my life
I know I was in the wrong, but this isn't right
I'm telling her...
"I can change; I can be the man you like"
She said...
"You should of already been that guy"
I started to feel her slipping through my finger tips
& like Justin Timberlake a river I cried
She said...
"I have to go"
I am like...
"NO"
she yelled...
"YES"
I took her arm & put her hands toward my heart
I said...
"You are the muscle that beats in my chest"
She said...
"If that was true we wouldn't be in this train wreck
& your faithfulness you would of kept"
All I could do was stare into her eyes while tears I shed
She then told me...
"I love you & the goodtimes I won't forget"
Gave me a hug & a last goodbye kiss
Got in her car; drove off & got gone
I am standing in the road with a prolonged gaze
Watching the best thing I got going in my life drive away
Trying to be strong, but feeling all alone
Like Ne-Yo I was so sick
I guess that's what I get
For trying to be so slick & not getting
away with the same ole' tricks
TRUE STORY... more or less ^_^
*Thank you LenMiyata for the warning I had a feeling the first poem I posted was a lil' profane... I apologize for not following the rules... I knew better... I'll try not to do the same ole' stuff in the future...^_^
The heart can't lie... Truth is... I love you!!!
um... like how is this a poem? is it dialog? basically it seems that way
I am sorry if it isn't the typical poem you may be used to... I wrote this cause the things I was going to write about was already taken... Me starting off as a youngling growing older, my graduation day/prom,... And this is a memory that I play back in my mind from time to time & the way it turned out was just how it goes in my head more or less (I just played off my memory)... I guess you also ask why musicals become movies, why poems, become songs... It is what it is like I said ealier I am sorry for stepping over the boundaries of how a poem should be written; even though the theme is a freestyle... Even though I may not win I am still pleased with how my work turned out cause it is a memory that I been with for a minute that I can't shake & may never be able to... But you are right it is a dialogue; a dialogue of my life that I chose to write as a poem...Originally Posted by starfire1036
The heart can't lie... Truth is... I love you!!!
Peach_follows (Aug 10, 2008)
Thats right!
Obviously I peeped the outstanding effort put into this successful poem. Sorta wished I would have read it in time to catch the "profane" version. Was it much different?
I personally think there is alot of passion and power often time where profanity is used in poetry. Although there is a time and place for everything. I'd still be interested in reading the uncensored version. If you still remember it or have it saved some where... PM me with it. If not... its all good.
This poem more than satisfied my need for a good read.
... Not Ever Again...
Don't use like before you say something.
There are those out there who believe that it's a scourge and mutated degeneration of the english language. It does work for this because it adds a sense of immediacy but be wary of it in the future.
... and join my rebellion against time.
hmmm, well i'll admit the grammar and word choice could have been better at times, but overall the feel of this poem was what struck me the hardest. Thinking of a past love and how it ended is a rather intense memory, and you have portrayed it well!
Why hello there!
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