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Thread: Self Portrait - August 2007 POTM Winner

  1. #1
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Self Portrait - August 2007 POTM Winner

    I’m drawing a portrait.
    A likeness.
    Depiction.

    Based on reality?
    Fantasy?
    Fiction?

    With my #2 pencil,
    I start
    at my toes.

    My feet have traveled.
    Where my mind
    never goes.

    Working up to my legs.
    Two vertical
    lines.

    Long, thin, and smooth.
    Nothing
    like mine.

    Now, its time for my belly.
    My pencil,
    won’t budge.

    So far from perfection.
    That I scribble,
    and smudge.

    How do I draw my heart?
    Can’t imagine.
    Can’t trace.

    I realize it’s so empty.
    That I begin
    to erase.

    My face is broke down.
    Just like
    this sentence.

    I make my nose brown.
    Because I want
    Acceptance.

    I wanted a portrait.
    All I see
    is a mess.

    Beautifully chaotic.
    Just like me,
    I guess.
    ... Not Ever Again...

  2. #2
    Otaku ILikeApples5520 is off to a good start ILikeApples5520's Avatar
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    Re: Self Portrait.

    Wow, This is probably one of the best works i've seen from you, Peach.

    This is such a unique concept and poem structure!

    The only thing I can say is that a couple stanzas have uneven rhyming, but other than that, it's fantastic.

    It's gonna be a tough competition, that's for damn sure!


    Thanks to _gwenibe_ for this awesome sig!

  3. #3
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: Self Portrait.

    Quote Originally Posted by ILikeApples5520 View Post
    Wow, This is probably one of the best works i've seen from you, Peach.

    This is such a unique concept and poem structure!

    The only thing I can say is that a couple stanzas have uneven rhyming, but other than that, it's fantastic.

    It's gonna be a tough competition, that's for damn sure!
    Would you mind telling me which stanzas felt off to you? I need all the help I can get. ^_^

    And theres nothing wrong with a little healthy competition. But Im trying not to think of it that way or I get to consumed. I think of it as just another oppertunity to be heard.
    ... Not Ever Again...

  4. #4
    Otaku Nodes Champion, Flames of Fury Champion shadowrulz may be famous one day shadowrulz may be famous one day shadowrulz's Avatar
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    Re: Self Portrait - SOTM AUG-07 Winner

    O.o; Yeah. . . I guess never really did stand a chance at all. . .

    I loved how you kept with the rhyme scheme so well Peach. And I could feel the flow of the poem so well, that I started to say it out loud after the third stanza.

    A big thanks to Renn for the sig! THANK YOU!

  5. #5
    Otaku BAUTIFULSOUL is off to a good start BAUTIFULSOUL's Avatar
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    Re: Self Portrait - August 2007 POTM Winner

    this is an awesome poem!! now i see why you won. its beautiful, i love it. great job!! =)

    IF YOU LISTEN CLOSELY, YOU CAN HEAR MY HEART BEATING FOR YOU.
    THIS BEAUTIFUL SIG MADE BY LASURA=D


  6. #6
    Otaku ING Cricket Champion, Chickenboy Chucky Champion, Dancer duck Champion, Jake,s Fire Power Champion, Bomber Bob Champion, Road Hogs Champion, Van Champion, Hacker Champion, Gorillaz Tiles Champion, Clicken Gold Champion, Galleon Champion, QBeez Champion ihauntforlust is off to a good start
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    Re: Self Portrait - August 2007 POTM Winner

    it's so amazing!
    and very unique!
    well done Peach!
    *claps*

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    Otaku Lupas is off to a good start
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    Thumbs up Re: Self Portrait - August 2007 POTM Winner

    Quote Originally Posted by Peach_follows View Post
    I’m drawing a portrait.
    A likeness.
    Depiction.

    Based on reality?
    Fantasy?
    Fiction?

    With my #2 pencil,
    I start
    at my toes.

    My feet have traveled.
    Where my mind
    never goes.

    Working up to my legs.
    Two vertical
    lines.

    Long, thin, and smooth.
    Nothing
    like mine.

    Now, its time for my belly.
    My pencil,
    won’t budge.

    So far from perfection.
    That I scribble,
    and smudge.

    How do I draw my heart?
    Can’t imagine.
    Can’t trace.

    I realize it’s so empty.
    That I begin
    to erase.

    My face is broke down.
    Just like
    this sentence.

    I make my nose brown.
    Because I want
    Acceptance.

    I wanted a portrait.
    All I see
    is a mess.

    Beautifully chaotic.
    Just like me,
    I guess.
    beautiful!!!!! another woman makes me weep, startin 2 break me down guys please stop more happy stuff u desirve 2 be ]

  8. #8
    Newbie demonoflight is off to a good start demonoflight's Avatar
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    Re: Self Portrait - August 2007 POTM Winner

    congrats on winning this a nice piece of literature, and an excellent poem, it's always nice to read the writings of upcoming poet's poetry.
    "expect the unexpected, life changes in an instant"

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