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Thread: Trusted Me

  1. #1
    Newbie jessicacheers is off to a good start jessicacheers's Avatar
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    Trusted Me

    You've been through alot
    you've had pain
    you've had tears
    you've had doubt
    you've had worries

    I saw you the other day
    you looked like you have alot on your shoulders
    will you talk to me
    will you trust me
    will you share with me what is wrong with you

    I went to your house
    to make sure your alright
    I knoced
    and knocked
    and knocked

    You didn't answer
    so I used my key
    I saw you laying there dead
    you took your own life
    I wish you had talked to me

    I could have helped
    I wouldhave listen
    Now you are gone
    and I am here alone
    I wish you trusted me.

  2. #2
    Otaku Robo Soccer Champion, Gorillaz Groove Session Champion blackrose92 is off to a good start blackrose92's Avatar
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    Re: Trusted Me

    this poem is really sad =[. but good details. the flow was nice. you kinda bored me with the whole repetition of the the first two stanzas but the message was clear. so good job^^
    I'm the best you'll ever have because i am that f*ing AMA-zing chic who can stand on her own d*n feet and becasue of you I am the Greatest Thank you so much SasuraiHell and Gwen

  3. #3
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Trusted Me

    It is indeed sad, but it is a rather nice poem... nice flow, easy and interesting to read. Good effort.

    However... I don't see how this can be your November POTM entry, since its missing the needed refrence to the song. Please do read the POTM theme and post poems that fit the rules of the month. It is really frustrating to every month try to understand whether the person has actually tried to do POTM or just posted a random poem in order to test their luck
    Last edited by Lasura; Dec 11, 2008 at 03:50 AM.

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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