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Old Aug 16, 2007, 10:03 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Trying to Write a Poem

All right . . . love poem, now. What can I say? She is my MUSE. If you don't know who William Shakespeare, Emily Dickinson (*gag*), and e.e. cummings are, do a google search and feel UTTER SHAME! Just kidding. (Most of the poem is modelled after Cummings' revolutionary style; it is a bit different, just to warn you.)

Trying to Write a Poem - for Kelly:

I'm Shakespeare on a good day,
(I'm Dickinson on a bad one),
But one thought of you and suddenly I'm

e.e. cummings

my pencil . . . skittering out of control, graphite
smudges on my thumb
grammar unheeded - a deadly sin in my book

all is
replaced

by the memory of your elusive


smile.
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Old Aug 16, 2007, 10:50 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Trying to Write a Poem

That was really good divine_punishment!!
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Old Aug 17, 2007, 07:17 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Trying to Write a Poem

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That was really good divine_punishment!!
Thanks. I don't know why I suddenly felt the urge to write like Cummings . . . I mean, I used to correct the grammar in his work.
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Old Aug 17, 2007, 07:25 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Trying to Write a Poem

wow.. ^^ thats so sweet... (look at me sounding like a girl xD) ^^ nice nice
i like it.. keep up the good work and i wanna see more of urs..
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Old Aug 17, 2007, 07:58 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Trying to Write a Poem

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wow.. ^^ thats so sweet... (look at me sounding like a girl xD) ^^ nice nice
i like it.. keep up the good work and i wanna see more of urs..
Read "Kelly's Song." I like it better than this one. The grammar is far less unsightly.
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Old Aug 17, 2007, 10:15 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Trying to Write a Poem

This'd look killer with a picture in it. One of a girl smiling or something, with the words/sentences placed at varied points...

Lovely, lovely!
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Old Aug 17, 2007, 03:06 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Trying to Write a Poem

Since you submitted this one for POTM, I'm going to delete it from the general poetry area. POTM entries are open for comment, so you don't need to post it anywhere else. And just this once, I'll be kind and move your comments as well.
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Old Aug 20, 2007, 09:04 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Trying to Write a Poem

i'm actually used to seeing it, iread all poetry and have an anthology of my own being published so it's not that different, although i prefer the victorian style and acbd format the poems isn't that bad cheers
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Old Aug 23, 2007, 09:24 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Trying to Write a Poem

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i'm actually used to seeing it, iread all poetry and have an anthology of my own being published so it's not that different, although i prefer the victorian style and acbd format the poems isn't that bad cheers
I prefer the more traditional style, too. I just woke up in the middle of the night with this in my head and had to get it out.
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