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| POTW (Poem of the Week) Poems submitted for Poem of the Week contests. |
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Jul 11, 2007, 05:00 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
 §-Breakdown-§  Join Date: May 2007 Location: Vancouver! (I wish...)
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 | Special Place{7/11} All my hapiness All my joy Is held within One special place I don't know where All I know is that It's not within me Not in me at all Once I find that place I'll never lose it again Like I did before What a mistake that was All I feel inside me Is sadness and hatred I have to find the place soon Or my soul will be dead ************** Then I see light The warmth of hapiness A hand lifting me up Into your arms My light is you My sadness vanished I love you my dear And I'll never let you go..... __________________ Oh my I hope it wins.....
__________________   Phantasmagoria Lives On In The Hearts Of Their Fans, Japanese AND English! "Because it's okay to hide your tears." - LM.C (Lovely Mocochang) Last edited by Akura13; Jul 11, 2007 at 05:38 PM. Reason: okay, THERE!!!!! |
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Jul 11, 2007, 05:08 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
 Angelic  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: In a Demon's Arms
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| Re: Special Place{7/11} This is a wonderful poem Akura... best of what I've read from you 'till now... I can't find a reason why it couldn't win... The only thing I don't like is the time flow... it's broken in the place where you start to talk about when you find that special place... it kind off surprised me... maybe the poem would be more enjoyable (not that it's not now! no!) if you put stars before the sixth stranza- just for people understand that something new is ment to be comming... I think even this little fix would do ^^ But it's great the same... I like it very much.. nice work Akura!!! |
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Jul 11, 2007, 05:09 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
 Otaku  Join Date: May 2007 Location: Behind you when you are not looking.
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| Re: Special Place{7/11} ooooOOOOoooo Very very deep.Very very good also.I hope it wins too. 
__________________  That my friend, Is the cat that saw you naked. |
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Jul 11, 2007, 05:09 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| ♡♥I love you Kyle Kun!♥♡  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: In my lovers heart
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| Re: Special Place{7/11} I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really do!!!!!! It's so romantic and wonderful to read! I love it!!!!!!!!! I hope to see more!
__________________  Pop (o.o) click to show spoiler |
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Jul 11, 2007, 05:12 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| §-Breakdown-§ Join Date: May 2007 Location: Vancouver! (I wish...)
Posts: 813
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| Re: Special Place{7/11} Thank you all so much!!! And like that Lasura????? I'm always open for suggestions!!!!!
__________________ Phantasmagoria Lives On In The Hearts Of Their Fans, Japanese AND English! "Because it's okay to hide your tears." - LM.C (Lovely Mocochang) |
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Jul 11, 2007, 05:36 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Angelic Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: In a Demon's Arms
Posts: 1,885
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Thanked 38 Times in 35 Posts
| Re: Special Place{7/11} OMG!! Sorry Akura!!! I should go back to first class where they teched how to count... I ment before the fifth stranza... so sorry ^^ but yea... like that ^^ It'd help me to understand what's going on ^^ |
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Jul 11, 2007, 05:38 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| §-Breakdown-§ Join Date: May 2007 Location: Vancouver! (I wish...)
Posts: 813
Thanks: 16
Thanked 39 Times in 36 Posts
| Re: Special Place{7/11} Okay now is that right Lasura????? gee i really do hope it wins!
__________________ Phantasmagoria Lives On In The Hearts Of Their Fans, Japanese AND English! "Because it's okay to hide your tears." - LM.C (Lovely Mocochang) |
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Jul 11, 2007, 06:36 PM
| #8 (permalink) | |
| Angelic Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: In a Demon's Arms
Posts: 1,885
Thanks: 56
Thanked 38 Times in 35 Posts
| Re: Special Place{7/11} Quote:
Yea... it's alright now ^^ for me | |
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