Sazzy

Perplexing Instances

Recently, I’ve been so bewildered by strange conversations with friend’s. I’ve never been able to hold many intense conversations about anything. Yet, it seems that some random conversations still have the tendency to alter into analytical, profound and insightful discussions. Yet when they do alter, it catches me off guard and surprisingly, it’s morphed into talking about my troubles. I don’t mind talking about myself, only on rare occasions. But when it does come to talking about me, paranoia emerges and I wonder what other’s true intentions are. Of course, I do not, by no mean’s, mean it to be offensive. Its just I have a very cautious nature that can sometimes get in the way when I deal with people whom I do not know.

When it comes to making entries such as this, then it isn’t too much of a problem, due to the fact that not many people will read it and that’s fine by me. A blog entry is meant to inform the reader more about the writer and display some mannerisms and characteristics. Otherwise, how else is an online persona going to be created? Of course there are different levels of an online persona, to which I don’t want to go into but hopefully the context has been put across. I will say that there isn’t any difference between my online persona and the ‘me’ in real life. I don’t really see the point of pretending to be someone your not. I wouldn’t do it in real life, so why should I do so online? It might be easier to hide behind a monitor and take a role of someone who is the opposite of who you truly are. But where is the point? Is it really right to seek acceptance that way?

Reverting back to the topic of the entry of perplexing instances, I found myself in a situation on IRC (Internet Relay Chat) where I had three of my friends there supporting me through about something that I was shocked to see we were talking about. It was about my abase nature and its something I don’t talk much about because everyone who talks to me about it fails to see why I am abase. Instead they focus on telling me what I should be doing. But that just gets stretched as I’ve told many people before about past situations and then about time’s where I have tried to gain more confidence but failed.

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On a lighter note, recently, I read the Twilight Saga Books. I didn’t read them because of following the latest trends (as I don’t really follow them anyway and I’m always out of the loop of those sorts of things). I saw the movie on my flight to New York for my 23rd Birthday. I was thinking about getting the books due to reviews I’ve heard, I didn’t go any further than that though.

However, I was sitting downstairs, jaded, sitting near a cupboard where there was a pile of books. I was glancing at them and noticed Twilight and Eclipse in the pile. Curiosity got the better of me, and I went over to the pile and picked out said books. From that moment on, I started to read, kept on reading, till about one week had passed and I had completed all four books. I was really captivated by the story that I didn’t want to put the book down at all. So I stayed up most night’s reading, and as soon as I woke up, I would start reading. Please note that I am hardly found reading a book. So when I do it’s a very strange sight to see indeed.

Out of all the four books so far, my favourite would be Breaking Dawn. I was a little put off with the part about werewolves as I’m very much so a Vampire fan. So I did want to skip all the werewolf part’s but then that would mean missing most of New Moon (book 2) and a bit section in Breaking Dawn but I read it anyway in case there something I would miss that was vital to the rest of the book. I would really like to see another book after Breaking Dawn but from what Stephenie Meyer has said on her website, she is doing another book but it’s the story from Edward’s point of view, which is something I wanted to see in Breaking Dawn as they did it from Bella’s and Jacob’s perspective. So it does make sense to do someone in Edward’s eye’s (sexy eyes by the way.

I am currently reading through the outtakes from the books, just to see what would have been if they were in there. I’ve never read any outtakes from books before it is again a new thing for me. But it is always great to read just that little bit more in certain places.

For people who know me, they would say I’m a hyper, cheerful person with an easy going personality, which is probably why my favourite character in the books is Alice Cullen. She might not be one of the three main characters but when she does appear in the books, it’s always her quirkiness that lightens the mood and of course, if she can GTA a Porsche, she can be my friend any day! Porsche’s happen to me dream car, especially a Carrera GT! If I had one, it would be my pride and joy without a doubt.

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