What about you?
... I know, there's times that we all have to humble ourselves and take the advice, or perhaps even guidance from others. But, why is it that no one approaches the problems of a friend, or loved one, (or maybe a stranger if that's your thing) with a neutral stance?
I often go seeking advice when I am confused or troubled. I'm great at looking for help. But that doesn't mean everyone has to come at life (or me) as if their wisdom somehow NEEDS to be interjected... constantly. The expression "Live and let live" comes to mind. Seems like no one follows that principal.
I'm sure we all have our moments where we find ourselves pointing out someones faults. Or trying to analyze what someone's doing wrong in their situation.... Everybody thinks they can offer guidance to others. And no doubt, some people are good at giving advice. Still I can't help wishing more people would practice DETATCHING themselves from issues of others, just sometimes.
Yes, this includes you "elders". Just stop, let the inexperienced bump their heads a bit. Always being told your predictions, and hearing your stories that are meant to re-direct me from your mistakes. Its getting... well... old.
I think people use the problems of others to either distract themselves form their own sh!t, or to live vicariously through someone else. Either way. If you're guilty of over advising.... you're probably neglecting yourself.
So.... What about you?
Re: What about you?
I give advice... a lot.
I don't see it as advice though, I see it as me analyzing the moment and giving off information, but in a condescending manner most times.
I see the flaws of that, and I take it as information as well, storing it in my head for better analyzing in my own time. And I do analyze it.
I am rather unattached to other people's problems, but at the same time I find myself needing to attach myself to them. Life taught and humbled me that I HAVE to care about others (I was one of those who thought "Psh. Whatever, I don't care what others think") do and think.
However, that doesn't mean I should guide them either, at least, not get out of my way to do so.
And I don't. I never give these people lessons and such unless they come begging for it. And even then, I give them a generic answer because I haven't fully grasped the situation yet.
I don't want to know them any more than I do, because that means I have to be close to them. And being a grand example of being a generic @sshole: I don't want to care about most people, I've got my own demons to fight off, let yours devour you if you deserve it.
I do believe that they should handle their own problems, but I know for a fact that there's a good chance they won't end up in a nice place until they've hit several roadblocks and traps along the way. Their life is going to suck a good amount before they get there, and it'll have great times along the ways too, but if they're troubled in heart and mind there's a good chance they won't even remember those good parts as an optimistic thing.
Fact is, life is risky, and most people's risks usually don't pay off.
Who am I to say I know any better?
Well, I did what they didn't do: Shut up and listen for once.
And from that perspective, I know better than them - as they rush in there and do their actions - getting themselves killed because they ran in there with emotions and not logic.
For this reason, I'm jealous of those who go through these actions, come out unscathed, and come out as a better person at the same time.
Because damn are they lucky, and how I wish I had that luck (I wouldn't be as negative as I am today if I had their luck).
But at the same time: I do not tell them what to do at the moment of their problems.
I wait for them to fail most times. I let them live, let them fail, and I build them back up again.
And if they're not broken enough, I break them even more. Apparently, I'm good at that.
People need to reach a real low in order to realize truly what they've done wrong.
And even then, they need to ask for my advice.
And even then, I still don't really want to.
But my brain is full of unused information that I feel like throwing it up on them.
They might feel I'm preaching to them.
In reality, I'm just dropping off information that I wasn't using at the moment anyways.
Who am I to judge people?
I'm the person who ISN'T in their situation. I'm the person who AVOIDED that situation. I'm the person who RECOVERED from that situation.
Most importantly: I'm the person who's doing this out of logic, not by any need of human emotional intentions.
I'm the damn computer that found your actions illogical and is showing you the correct way to do it. And yes, it's going to be cold and void of emotions, but I'm not here to be your best friend or lover: I'm here as the annoying tactician who laughed at your failed attempt of bravery.
People hate me for that, and I don't care. I'm up here, you're down there, you shouldn't have done that in the first place.
Don't like my advice? Then you shouldn't have asked for it.
.... in a way, I do want to help people genuinely... emotions and all that... and the best way to do that is let them hear encouragement, not a lesson.
... but I don't want people to get close to me. I did that before, and... people just...
Fact is, if you were looking for a friend, they're over there... the ones who stood by you despite all that crap. And if they aren't there, then you gotta' realize your old friends sucked. Find some new ones.