RayMe (Oct 22, 2009)
did you know "hurly burly" is an actual term? from the olden days, like the 1700s, it means. . .
ain't that cool?hurl⋅y-burl⋅y
1. noisy disorder and confusion; commotion; uproar; tumult.
2. full of commotion; tumultuous.
1520–30; alter. of hurling (and) burling, rhyming phrase based on hurling in its (now obs.) sense of tumult, uproar
also been thinking about life goals. . .
been listening to Christian radio on the way to work lately, the pastor is nice. . .
he's been talking about how to tell when God's telling you the road you should take. . .
he said it was usually unexpected, and. . . um, i can't remember the other parts, but it was good!
and i thought about how whenever i get complimented on my writing, it's unexpected. the most unexpected was just a few weeks ago, when my history teacher asked me to stay after class. . . she basically told me she thought i was working on some big degree, but no, i'm just Abu taking a history class, and didn't bring the cheat sheet we could use to the exam, so i just winged it (kept up with the reading though). . .
she told me that whatever i do, to shoot for the stars.
and i've never had a college teacher tell me that before. . .
so, i guess it counts more than high school teachers.
and then today the radio pastor was talking about caring, among other things. . .
and then when i got into the main office (where we wait until the kids come out), they were talking about how most high school teachers today just don't care about their students. . .
so. . .
i've been thinking. . .
does this mean i should change my major to English? maybe double the major with art?
does this mean i really should be a teacher?
i'd like to write children's books too. . .
will still (most likely) become a dog groomer, if only to (kinda) pay for upper schooling. . .
it's a little sudden to be thinking all this, but i've wondered on and off about it for like a year or so. . .
so it's been a big thinking week for the Abu~
and thank you for being so sweet about all this, mah Soshi~
it might be a little silly to start thinking all this becuz of a radio pastor, but i haven't been to Church in a while, so i guess i'm just making up for lost time. . .
but you're still wonderful my Sweet, and as long as we're together, it don't matter what happens and what doesn't~
RayMe (Oct 22, 2009)
I thought that was a made up word o.o xD thanks! Enriching thy vocab is a must!
Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
I'm BACK AO!
No prob babe. Think it's sweet that you're trying to make up for "lost time".
"Always quite thirsty for the Word when you find yourself out in the desert, where no one has a drop of it in their cantines."
That was somethin' (not exact wording) an old pastor I heard say once.
I'm still quite skeptical of pastors, though. Most are bunk, no matter how strong their faith is... they hardly look at the other side's argument, never questioning their path.
And though faith is about faith, and not logic - therefore, not questioning is a good attribute --- I still find it ridiculous how gullible, naive, and stubborn people can get with their faith. ...often believing completely contradicting things because they NEVER question faith. (faith in God is one thing, faith in what PEOPLE say is another)
I know how much ya' love hearing good things, especially since the outside world of the Christian culture seems so unforgiving and mean, but I don't want you to lose yourself in people's words.
I know you get curious if you believe God is guiding you - and He could be (though, in technicality, all things are a guideline), but I don't want you to follow false signs just because you miss the good ol' safe Christian days.
It's nice, and it's comforting. It speaks of happy things and hope. It's VERY unlike the world out here, and I see how you can miss it. But... just don't lose yourself in it.
It can be like the quiet and peaceful lull that begs you to sleep and never wake up.
Just remember, hun. I'm here, too.
I led you away from pastors because of how easily you listened to them - how eager you were to hear what they had to say... and I saw you becoming like them... blind, and hateful of things unlike them.
Faith isn't blind. Faith is trust, and faith is knowing.
But because faith is trust, it only goes to ONE thing - each faith is for a single thing.
But you cannot have a faith that is all-encompassing... that's the same as serving two masters. Believing every pastor that holds a nice treat above your head won't lead you to anywhere nice, I'll tell ya' that.
... but you've grown up a lot since then, and I know that you can distinguish things a bit better now... I just still don't trust religions of the western kind yet, hun...
It's still full of crooks, fools, and bad shepherds. ...there's still tons of them to this day, and 99% of them say something wrong every now and again that sounds right.
If God put Jesus on this Earth so that He can talk to you directly so that you didn't have to listen to bad churches (which was one of the main cases that preachers ignore every time), then just trust your heart and listen to your soul.
... I still don't like them hun... they still try to reach out at you and drag you away from me..... that's not me being selfish and paranoid, I can feel it in their words most times. I can sense it when it's coming, and I hate it... I hate it most because you listen to those words... you always tell me you never question our love... but because of their words (a long time ago), you started doubting.. and I felt you slowly backing away from me......
God's love is not restricting, and it is not a solid form that has rules. It is not something written out on a collaboration of books (the Bible). It is not something that can be described, yet I know with all my soul that it is something that is alive and not to be barred. ...crazy Christians feel empty and beyond help.. so lost in their stubbornness that they will die in denial... never believing the damage they've done in people's lives for the lies they've said....
I don't want you to go away, babe...
I really don't...
I know you still don't fully understand what I believe in yet... but just know that I'm still keeping my eyes on you every step of the way.
Ever since I felt that change, I've been keeping my eyes on you.
It doesn't seem wrong right now, but just know that I've still got your back... I'm not going to let them brainwash you... you're not like others, I can't let you be brainwashed by them...
Other than that, it's okay if you become an English major. Don't jump around too much, and you gotta' be sure about the decisions you make. I don't want you stressed because you made a choice you thought was right, but never questioned it and ended up hating it ---but still believing it was a good choice.
Don't end up as those people who just hate children - they're always contradicting themselves.