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Thread: Hm. friends?

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    Hm. friends?

    I have this issue of disconnecting myself from people I care about or love and then finding myself feeling entirely alone even though it's both my own doing and very much in my head. I feel very often as if I have no friends. I have people I call my friends, but I don't really talk to them or relate to them all that much. There are others I call my friends that I can't confide in. There are friends I have that I haven't spoken to for months at a time and yet still feel closer to them then some of the others I do see more frequently.

    I heard some Korn on the radio the other day. And it seems like such a strange thing to get all nostalgic about an everything but I couldn't help it. It made me think of sleeping in shannons water bed in highschool. Which, of course, lead to me missing her like crazy. She moved about twelve hours away, because she couldn't get into grad school and her boyfriend found a really good job. I was pregnant at the time and I haven't heard from her since. I know she was trying to conceive at the time too or they were discussing it. I'd really like to know how that went or if they scrapped the idea or what. I really miss her. A lot.

    I have been messaging and infrequently phone conversating with another old friend of mine. She is the only person I am comfortable with on the phone lately. I hate to talk on the phone. But I really enjoy getting to talk to her. I forget I'm on the phone almost. It's nice.

    which leads me to another problem I have. I tend to let my boyfriend too heavily dictate my day. He doesn't like this old friend that I've been talking to and so I have yet to hang out with her again even though I miss her, and she's been asking me to come over a lot. If my momh ad already moved I'd just invite her over here, we could chill and she could get more acquainted with my daughter and I could cook or something. It'd be fun. But I am social phobic and my boyfriend don't wanna go there, so I don't go. And I feel like a bad friend for it.

    But no matter how I look at it, I still feel, as if I have two friends. And I'm not even sure the female of the two would even consider me her friend. And the male of the two....is a sucky friend for the most part. (Be mad at me if you want I have TOLD him this, and we have discussed it. And being that no behaviors have changed I maintain my opinion on the suckiness of his friendship. But I can't help but love the retard anyways.) I have others, but they're more like family. Like my sister in law, or my brothers ex girlfriend, or my cousins who ARE family, or those two old friends that I don't talk to much. They're still my friends. But mostly. I feel alone. Like I have no one. Because I can't confide in any of these people, safely, comfortably. so... Yeah. I donno where I was going with that. And I'm pretty sure only one person reads this anyways.

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

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    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: Hm. friends?

    Well it's good to hear that you at least care about said retard, LOL.

    The retard appreciates it and hopes he can be less retarted in the near future.


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    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: Hm. friends?

    I appreciate that I don't have to pretend with you. Even though I often feel the need to do so anyways. I really am greatful of that in you. And I do care. Even when I don't want to... As a side note. My daughter is playing on the floor with her cars and I look over, and she's sticking the dirty diaper I just took off her and wrapped up, in her mouth. Ew.

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

  4. #4
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: Hm. friends?

    she's sticking the dirty diaper I just took off her and wrapped up, in her mouth. Ew.
    Ugh... that's like.. one girl, no cup.

    You're so incognito with your writing... Its hard to tell who you're directing what toward. I suppose thats on purpose? The only thing that I know we all agree upon is that Spouts a retard, lol. And apparently IM NOT the only one who reads your journal
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: Hm. friends?

    Quote Originally Posted by Peach_follows View Post
    Ugh... that's like.. one girl, no cup.

    You're so incognito with your writing... Its hard to tell who you're directing what toward. I suppose thats on purpose? The only thing that I know we all agree upon is that Spouts a retard, lol. And apparently IM NOT the only one who reads your journal
    That's cus I was intentionally directing this at....my feelings about friendships. Rather then the individual friendships for the most part. And yes, apparently you are not.

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

  6. #6
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: Hm. friends?

    Quote Originally Posted by Peach_follows View Post
    The only thing that I know we all agree upon is that Spouts a retard, lol.
    Well y'know, it's a gift that was passed down to me from my biological father. My younger brother got the bigger portion of it.

    *Joking*


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