in a long time. I've not been online much lately, as I didn't have a charger for my laptop and I still don't have internet at my apartment. I will likely be around a little more now that my grandmother the wonderful (sometimes) woman that she is got me a charger. Which was nice cus I know JEremy didn't want to shell out the seventy bucks for it. Even though he did weekend before last. But I wasn't about to let him be broke all week starting his birthday weekend just because he promised me something. Even if I was unhappy as hell about all the company and the third wheel on our anniversary.
Yeah... That sucked. A lot. I've been feeling really....unwanted lately. Since he told me I made him feel like garbage every day I feel like I can't do anything right and that all of this is just him accommodating me because I'm pregnant with his baby. Realistically I know he loves me and cares about me and must enjoy my company because otherwise he wouldn't be with me or he wouldn't come home after work. He'd find other things to do without me. And he wouldn't want me to be around his friends. Which he does. But that hurt to hear, and I feel like a bad girlfriend. I feel like a failure. And I feel like a big huge house.
In better news however my daughters first birthday was great. It was a small party, I only really invited family, and was still a tad overwhelmed by all the planning and getting everything done. God next years is going to be worse cus I'll have to be inviting more people as she actually builds relationships with people. My besty from seventh grade came with her daughter. I was so ecstatic to see her (It's been over a year.) and I was pleased to meet her seven month old. She liked me too which made me feel grand. She's so tiny! She's not a very cute baby, as much as I hate to admit that, she's not. Shannon was admittedly (by her own standards!) an ugly baby. And her boyfriend is an ugly chud if you ask me. But they love each other so who cares what he looks like? But this poor kid looks like her daddy, with shannons googly bug eyes. Lol. But she's so sweet.
She got more gifts then I thought she would, it being so close to Christmas, and the fact that I didn't expect her to get anything much as money is so tight for everyone lately. I was just glad everyone came!
My daughter decided her birthday party was the perfect time to start walking full time. She had been toddling around a little for a while before then. Walking some steps and falling on her butt, or sitting down. But she stopped that and was just walking like normal starting at her birthday party. I guess she had to be a ham and show off yanno. Lol. So now I have a little walking terror who likes to open my microwave and play with the plate in there. Annoying. But we'll fix it when we get a table in there.
Lets see... still no new baby. I've decided I know nothing about labor because I keep thinking she's going to come because I have ALL the warning signs I had last time and then she doesn't come. I just keep praying I'm not over due. My first daughter was one week early and this saturday is one week early. So maybe soon. Either way my due date is only two weeks away. Btu I'm going crazy. These hormones are all over everywhere and driving me nuts. I know I'm driving Jeremy nuts. We keep fighting and I keep packing me and the baby's stuff to leave. He punched the wall the other day. Twice... And broke his hand finding out it's reinforced sheetrock. Reinforced with concrete. At least he won't be hitting the walls again. I'd be pissed off at him for it if I didn't know he would fix it himself so when we move we wont lose money on it. And, if he hadn't broke it and have to be reminded of his stupid ass temper-tantrum every day till it's better.
I have been downloading books and a few movies to watch and read on my reader when I go to the hospital. The reader is the best gift I ever got. I think I wrote about it already. But I hoard books, and this way I can keep them on my computer instead of cluttering my house with them. I have a whole book shelf full of books already. Not neatly full of books, not pretty displayed. Nooo my books are stacked and packed into that thing.
Anyways. Bacon calls. (candied no less. Mmm.) Thanks for reading.