And I came to the realization that part of my emotional issue lies within being unable to picture my future. I'm so unsure of everything and everything is so strange and always has been based on how I feel. That's how everything is for me, and being that my feelings change so erratically, how could I possibly envision a future if I won't know how I will feel. I don't know if this makes any kind of sense to anyone but me. But it makes me feel better to know this. That maybe I can get a better handle on the way I feel and maybe be able to catch a glimpse of my future and start feeling....hopeful. Normal. I hope so anyways.

And now my tail bone hurts too bad to sit here and discuss this any further. I don't know what to do about this crap but I can't sit or stand or do anything lately without my tail bone hurting down into my butt-crack. It blows.