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    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Jesus.

    Having a child, and being pregnant again makes me worry about certian things I've never worried about before. It makes me think about things I never would have considered. To say it changed me is an understatment for sure. And yet I still feel like a child. I still feel like a "fake" adult. Like a kid playing dress up.
    I'm pretty content with my life. It's not exactly where I want it to be, but I'm 24 and don't really know myself very well and we just started after all. I do however have faith that we will get where we need to in due time. I don't even think it will take that long but when it starts to look like it will take forever I get discouraged.
    I reconnected with an old friend not long ago. I haven't had an opportunity to have an actual conversation which is why the information I found out this morning came as such a surprise. I imagine she wanted to tell me in person. Though it could just be that I'm not nearly as important to her as she is to me, and she just didn't think to tell me. At any rate I found out her daughter who is only two months old has Williams syndrome. Which is something I had never heard of.
    I looked it up online and my heart is breaking for her. And her poor baby. I mean it's a big job to have a baby. Period. It's an even bigger job to have a baby with special needs. What I found interesting however is how a lot of the symptoms have to do with speech and suchness. Which is what my friend had gone to college for. speech therapy. And now it turns out it will really benefit her child, even though she couldn't get into a graduate school and finish with the degree she wanted. I'm so glad she has family and her lovely boyfriend around for support but at the same time I wish there were more I could do for her. She lives so far away. I miss her so much too.
    Lucky for me Jeremy said when we finally take the weekend vacation we've been talking about, that we can go out that way so we can visit. I feel really childish and insecure though that maybe she doesn't want me to. I mean I emailed her and told her I miss her and that the boyfriend and I are getting married, I want her to be my maid of honor. And all that. She didn't really say much but that she missed me too and she would call that night. And she never did. I never called her either, I meant to but I keep forgetting around the time that she gets off work. But I will call Thursday after my doctors apt for sure because we find out if I'm having a boy or a girl. I'm so excited.

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

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    Re: Jesus.

    Oh, wowzers! First, I'm still shocked that they have a baby. Second, I feel bad for the baby, though I'm sure that things will work out. They seem to be responsible adults and--knowing the both of them--they'll do just fine (baby included). ^_^

    I miss them too. I keep looking to see if I can spot one of them online, but I guess I'm on during odd hours or somethin'. If you do go up to North Dakota, you should tell them "hi" for me and that I miss hangin' out with them. ^_^

    Aww, snap! Today's thursday! Lemme know when you find out whether or not it's a boy or a girl.


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