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Thread: 6 Proven Steps to Building a Strong Family

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    Lady Barronmore Arrianna has become well known Arrianna has become well known Arrianna has become well known Arrianna's Avatar
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    6 Proven Steps to Building a Strong Family

    Fantastic Families: 6 Proven Steps to Building a Strong Family

    No, I am not reviewing the book but since we always seem to be discussing relationships of some kind or another I thought I would list the six steps as I have had them described to me (I don't own the book ).
    1. Commitment
    2. Spending Time Together
    3. Effective Communications
    4. Express Appreciation
    5. Problem Solving in a Crises
    6. Strong Spiritual Commitment
    Commitment is the first because of all six it is the most important.


    So what do you think? Agree, disagree?


    The source of this list and the basis of the book is from a survey of "14,000 families studied over twenty-five years" all over the world.
    Last edited by Arrianna; Mar 14, 2008 at 08:44 AM. Reason: Adding source of information in book.

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    anti-semantics Pub Quiz Champion tsurara may be famous one day tsurara may be famous one day tsurara's Avatar
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    Re: 6 Proven Steps to Building a Strong Family

    I agree with all but 6.

    Aethists and agnostics raise intelligent, well-rounded children all the time.

    Teaching your children what their options and raising them in the tradition of your family is one thing... indocrinating them heart and soul into a religion before they're old enough to make choices for themselves is another. It might make your family stronger... but taking it too far might do more harm to the kids than good.

    And while I firmly believe it's a parent's right to teach their own children whatever the heck they think is best... I'm pretty sure that a strong "spiritual" lifestyle isn't a pre-requisite to a happy, well-functioning family.

    I would also tend to think that "discipline" needs to be in there somewhere... negotiating with your toddler isn't going to get you (or them) very far ~_~;

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    Re: 6 Proven Steps to Building a Strong Family

    Quote Originally Posted by tsurara View Post

    Teaching your children what their options and raising them in the tradition of your family is one thing... indocrinating them heart and soul into a religion before they're old enough to make choices for themselves is another. It might make your family stronger... but taking it too far might do more harm to the kids than good.

    I would also tend to think that "discipline" needs to be in there somewhere... negotiating with your toddler isn't going to get you (or them) very far ~_~;
    Agree with you tsurara ^_^

    I am not into push kids or any member of the family to a certain religion or belief... however I do believe that you can teach them all about it without pushig anything on them, they will decide what to do when they are old enough and mature enough.

    Yes discipline has to be there. Not mistreatment but discipline... there is a huge difference on those two. haha... there is no negociation with your toddler ^_^... they've to learn there is an authority in home and they have to respect it... ^_^ Not an authoritarian parent... but an authoritative parent. ^_^
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    Lady Barronmore Arrianna has become well known Arrianna has become well known Arrianna has become well known Arrianna's Avatar
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    Re: 6 Proven Steps to Building a Strong Family

    Quote Originally Posted by tsurara View Post
    I agree with all but 6.
    And yet survey after survey shows that those with a strong spiritual commitment has a 24% increased chance of having a lasting marriage and a strong, united, family.(same book as source)

    also
    Religion linked to stronger family relationships
    Adolescents in families actively involved in religious activities tend to enjoy stronger family relationships than youths whose families have less or no religious involvement, a new University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill study shows.

    The research, part of the larger UNC-based National Study of Youth and Religion, revealed significant statistical links between religion and family ties, said study director Dr. Christian Smith.

    "We found that of the 27 family relationship variables we examined for this report, all were significantly related to some dimension of family religious involvement, after controlling for the possible effects of other social and economic factors," said Smith, professor of sociology.
    Getting Religion: How Teens Come to Faith
    The benefits of strong faith, though, extend far beyond mere spiritual identity. Having deep roots of faith is associated with "lower levels of depression, higher levels of 'other centeredness' and stronger moral commitments (honesty, fairness, choosing reconciliation over vengeance, respecting the dignity of others, and avoiding gluttony and sexual promiscuity)."3 Further, those teens that get religion and practice their faith by attending church regularly, usually stay in school, thus having greater career opportunities, stronger marriages and families, and less divorce.
    etc.etc...


    Like it or not it is a contributing factor for those wishing to build a strong family. Don't have one? Your percentage chance of succeeding decreases, you just have to decide if it is worth it to you.


    Oh, and those who have a strong spiritual belief are also more likely to teach their children discipline too so there you go.

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    anti-semantics Pub Quiz Champion tsurara may be famous one day tsurara may be famous one day tsurara's Avatar
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    Re: 6 Proven Steps to Building a Strong Family

    The book you're quoting uses the Bible as a primary resource... it's obvious where it's agenda lies :P

    Surely you don't think children being raised in radical islam (forced to wear burkas at age 13 reguardless of their opinions on the matter) or are on the streetcorner with "God Hates Fags" and "Thank Heaven For Dead Soldiers" signs are better off than children who are being raised to believe in evolution?

    Some studies may indeed show that religious families are more likely to be NUCLEAR families... but I'm of the belief that a 2 parent family is just as likely to screw up their kids as a single-parent one.

    Studies also show that atheists and agnostics tend to be from the higher economic eschelons and have rather high levels of education compared to the uber-religious. They also show that there are nearly no athiests in prison... prisoners are overwhelmingly religious. Aethists, oddly enough, also have the lowest divorce rate according to these studies. A great majority of scientists identify themselves as agnostic or aethiest...

    But those studies appear on pro-atheism sites... just like this book comes from a conservative religious author who thinks parenting guides should be full of Bible quotes.

    I choose to give equal amount of credence to all those studies: I find them vaguely interesting and then I ignore them entirely based on my own common sense and experience.

    I was raised without religion. I live in a country without religion. I teach 1500 little secular agnostics. And life goes on... this would seem to imply that religion can be entirely absent from the equation without catastrophic consequences.

    That doesn't mean I don't think Religious people can raise their children.
    But I'd appreciate religious people not telling me I don't know how to raise mine.

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    Re: 6 Proven Steps to Building a Strong Family

    I agree on everything else but #6. Swap it with "Discipline" and I'm happy.
    Religion is not, and will not, be a required element of a successful family. Ever.

    Quote Originally Posted by Arrianna View Post
    Oh, and those who have a strong spiritual belief are also more likely to teach their children discipline too so there you go
    Another claim with no relevance to anything factual. You don't KNOW this, no survey in the world can PROVE this, all you got is "I say it is so". I'd also like to point out something that tsu mentioned before me:

    Quote Originally Posted by tsurara View Post
    The book you're quoting uses the Bible as a primary resource... it's obvious where it's agenda lies :P
    Don't you dare tell me that the book can be considered a reliable source of information o.O
    Last edited by Shonen; Mar 14, 2008 at 01:03 AM.

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    anti-semantics Pub Quiz Champion tsurara may be famous one day tsurara may be famous one day tsurara's Avatar
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    Re: 6 Proven Steps to Building a Strong Family

    Quote Originally Posted by Shonen View Post
    Don't you dare tell me that the book can be considered a reliable source of information o.O
    Whoa tiger, chill. It wasn't meant as a personal attack, it was an opinion. If you don't agree, that's cool... but don't take it personally.

    And assuming you've never read the book, you have no idea whether or not it's resources are sound. They may very well be. All you know if the likely p.o.v. of the author. That creates a probable bias. It doesn't immediately make the research invalid.

    Mind your manners. Or I will mind them for you. ie. the new #6. Discipline

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    Re: 6 Proven Steps to Building a Strong Family

    Quote Originally Posted by tsurara View Post
    Whoa tiger, chill. It wasn't meant as a personal attack, it was an opinion. If you don't agree, that's cool... but don't take it personally.

    And assuming you've never read the book, you have no idea whether or not it's resources are sound.
    Don't get me wrong, the "don't you dare" part is only there to put some weight in my post, not an indication of taking it personally

    And, seeing as this is all about opinions, I do like to point out that as I see it, anything relying on the Bible as their primary resource, or at least relying heavily on it, can not be considered solid

    Puhhhhllleeeaaassse spare me from the new #6, I'll be good

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