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Thread: Affections Across Distance

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    Otaku Basketball Champion Shippo101 has disabled reputation Shippo101's Avatar
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    Affections Across Distance

    Ok I like someone dear to me but he lives very far away, I mean in Asia (I’m in U.S) far. We remained friends for a very long time now. If you guessed, yes, he is on AO.

    My question to you is:

    How do you feel about long distance relationships? I don’t necessarily mean 10 miles away I can drive to you long distance but I mean like they live in England and you live in Nevada long distance. I suppose the correct term is international relationships. My favorite AO couple actually lives in this situation. *wink wink* But I want to hear others views. Do you think you could do it? Are you doing the international dating now? Is it hard to deal with? What times do you wish they were with you and you resent them for it?

    As you answer you might even help out some random kiddie that needs help figuring out their situation.
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    Re: Affections Across Distance

    Do you think you could do it? Yes, if I really, really loved the person.
    Are you doing the international dating now? Nope, I'm single.
    Is it hard to deal with? Nope, being single is awesome.
    What times do you wish they were with you and you resent them for it? I think it would be horrible for the fact you don't know if they were actually with someone else or what they were doing. Easy way to get cheated on.

    I mean if you are going to date someone internationally, one of you has to finally be willing to make that move over to the other country for good. Which means you have to leave your own life behind, which will put a lot strain on the relationship. Like "I left my home for you! Why can't you do this for me!" Or something along those lines. So you have really love them for that.

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    Re: Affections Across Distance

    In my experience they do not work. This is simply for the fact that to be a good boyfriend or girlfriend you need to be available. And in long distance you are just not. Besides the fact is that even in marriage they rearly work out let alone for purposes of dating or going out with someone.

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    Re: Affections Across Distance

    I agree with everything Zev said!

    If you really truly love someone, deeply, at the soul level, then eventually one of you will have to move. It's too painful being apart from someone you love that much. And if one of you does move, you have to be absolutely sure that's the person you want in your life. Because moving to a different country is a HUGE deal, a very big step!

    I would say just keep talking to them about it, communicate! Communication is your best friend! ^.^ Best of luck, too! <3

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    Re: Affections Across Distance

    I dont think that it really works you guys cant do anything but just talk and then other people will come into your lives and they will want to date and you cant really have a relationship unless you would do anything for this person. My answer would to just be really good friends by the way how did you meet them.

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    Re: Affections Across Distance

    I believe that international relationships can work out, and I wish both of you the very best of luck. As it was already said, if you truly and genuinely love each other, nothing can go wrong.

    However, it's not anywhere near the same to a "normal" relationship. Constantly being together, feeling and seeing each other is so wonderful and essential. Because only that way you get to see all the little flaws, quirks of your partner and completely know him/her.
    And although I'm not in a relationship at the moment, I don't think I'd be able to miss that out.
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    Re: Affections Across Distance

    I have been in a long distance relationship and it was working very well for the most part and we were together for two years till things got complicated. Some of you here already know.

    Any way, it can work and we nearly got it to work. Now we were simply just long distance and not international, and it was still very hard even though we went to see each other every time we could.
    I just know that in a long distance relationship, let alone a an international relationship, I could never ask her to move. Its just not right or fair and there for completely up to her. Even more so for an international because they are leaving behind everything, not just family but everything they know for a completely different culture and people and way of thinking. I for one can't move, not so much that I couldnt, I could, but the fact is that where I am I am set up really well with a great job even if its streasfull and it frustrates me to no end some times, but this is not something you give up lightly, not saying strong and a deep loving relationship isant worth it, its just there are so many thing I have to take into account, one of them being is that if I leave this job and move to another country, there is in all likely hood I could never get it again simply based on what I do. And if the relationship falls appart then I sacrificed my life and everything I worked hard on for nothing. But thats just me.
    It can work and it does work some times.
    Last edited by Scourge; Sep 19, 2009 at 02:56 PM.
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    Re: Affections Across Distance

    to say the truth i have been in a long distance relationship for 4 months i guess i were very happy with this relationship until something start to change i can't talk to him all the time we just can't make a progress in this relationship becasue i am in Asia and he is in US and religion and this is a huge distant between us so everything end ...

    just like what Scourge said this can work some times or not ...

    my opinion on this long distance relationship is people get hurt from it and people become happy with it for me i am from the people who will get hurt in relationships like this ^^ ... there is many thing we can't do in this kind of relationships you can't be with them in their hard time or in their good time you can't share them everything .. writing on internet with the one you like it is funny and you enjoy it but you can't put what you feel in it like an empty letter >< ... where i live i can't move or leave the house o.O and if i loved someone from all my heart i will never ask him to move really he have his life his work his study his friends and i am sure that is more important that a girl ^^ if i really love someone i will be happy more seeing him with his family and his friends anyway why would he move to where i am and for a girl like me ^_^ i know i would be happy but feeling guilty XD ... XD i know a very sweet couple >,< who really standing strong in front of the long distant relationship ^,^ and i am really happy for them XD ... =^_^=
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