Quote Originally Posted by NevesElocin View Post
I know I was a big dissappointment to my dad. He wanted the best for me and I always bucked against him. I dissappointed him all the way up to the day he died and that will haunt me for the rest of my natural life.

On the other side of that my siblings make me feel a lot of the things I made my dad feel. I'm forever wondering what in the world are/were they thinking. But I guess thats part of growing up. I try to get past my dissappoinments though. Its not worth it to hold on to it.
ouch... that really hurt you huh? i can't really say that i know how that would feel like since both my parent are still alive... but i guess a few encouraging words can't hurt...

I guess the least you could do now would be to learn from your mistakes (i wouldn't consider them mistakes, i'd consider them learning experiences), and move on... nothing can change about losing you father and being a disappointment to him... but you can fill up where you left... be the son (or daughter... sorry, i don't know your gender), that he wanted you to be...

whether you might belive it or not, i think your father is watching you in the after-life and would be really proud of you if you follow the path he tilled for you with his own flesh and blood.