Thread: do girlfriends/boyfriends ruin friendships?

Originally Posted by Nightwish

this question kinda relates to what i am experiencing now. my friend ryan, who has never had a girlfriend in his life currently is engaging himself in one. now believe me, i am wicked proud of the guy. he is my best friend after all and i'm glad he's enjoying someone the way he is. the only downside is, is that the time that i would spend hanging out with him has gone to her. like today for example. mondays have always been our hang out days, but now he spends all day with his girl. now i truly like the girl. she's really nice and all but it just seems i'm losing time with my best friend. all the good times that i seem to have had in the past are all gone away. this might just be my imagination. this might just be something that will have no effect on the future. however from past experiences, i think i'm re-enacting something catastrophic. now i introduce the question again, do girlfriends/boyfriends destroy friendships?

I know exactly what you're talking about, I've had the same problems with my friend Brendon. Unlike you're friend though he has had loads of girlfriends but each time he gets one he seems to isolate himself from everyone else. And that's the reason why I don't have a girlfriend right now and have generally given up on having one, they're just too time consuming and I like to be able to be with my friends when I want rather than being on a girlfriends schedule. I live by "bros before hos" lol, meaning my mates always come before women (I know that sounds a little queerish, but oh well), no offense to you ladies though. It's just incoincidental how the saying goes... - But it doesn't hurt to give him some space and see how things go, Brendon always starts hanging out with me again in the end and it may end the same way for you, well hopefully it does. Once he sees the stress's and hassles of keeping up with the opposite sex I think he'll come around and start hanging out with you again.

well i try not to let my relationships interfer with my friends. its kinda wrong
and so like i try not to, id never cancell on my friends for a boy/girlfriend
that evilness showing through

Originally Posted by Vampyre

I dont think that all bf's or gf's ruin friendships. Its when one of them doesnt make any time for anyone else. Technically its not the new person's fault, its the friends for obsessing over that one girl/guy. But it isnt usually a permanent thing from what i've seen.

Mmmm, I'll have to agree with you.

Besides, I don't see why both parties can be friends - that is, the bf/gf and his/her partner's friends. It was always like that in my past relationships - I introduced my bfs to my friends, and they all got along well, and eventually they all used to go out together as well. If you can get your bf/gf to develop good rapport with your friends, things shouldn't be so bad. After a while my bf and I came to understand we both needed our space once in a while, and my friends understood that my bf(s) and I needed our "just the two of us" times too.

So, NO, I really don't think bfs or gfs ruin friendships - unless, of course, they're really possessive. But then you'd have to be be smart enough to stand up for yourself. Nobody wants an overpossessive partner.

Well perhaps although you might think she's okay, she might not have such nice feelings towards you and is keeping him away? :P If he really is in love with her, then he'll do anything for her, and sorry to say but that obviously means she takes higher priority to you buddy. You'll understand when/if you love a girl on that level.

lol, i keep reading people say that friendships don't die, but trust me, from experience, they all do one way or another soon enough. XD;;

welp, that's my $0.02 ;o

i'm the one who broke up with my ex, i expected her to hate my guts and
plan some big scheme to thwrart my future relationships.

but she is surprisingly cool and actually i've herd she wanted to try and get me back. its been like 2/3 years now and we're good friends . theres no hate from either of us.

so no, in some cases it does not!

Originally Posted by blue_rebel

Mmmm, I'll have to agree with you.

Besides, I don't see why both parties can be friends - that is, the bf/gf and his/her partner's friends. It was always like that in my past relationships - I introduced my bfs to my friends, and they all got along well, and eventually they all used to go out together as well. If you can get your bf/gf to develop good rapport with your friends, things shouldn't be so bad. After a while my bf and I came to understand we both needed our space once in a while, and my friends understood that my bf(s) and I needed our "just the two of us" times too.

So, NO, I really don't think bfs or gfs ruin friendships - unless, of course, they're really possessive. But then you'd have to be be smart enough to stand up for yourself. Nobody wants an overpossessive partner.

Yeah i do the same thing. Me and my gf pretty much all have the same friends now. So we all just hang out. And they leave us our space when needed.

I'd like to point out that I haven't read many posts from this thread, especially those in the beginning. Thus, I might say some things that have been said. That said, work with me here.

I have first hand experience to the fact that some relationships can in fact ruin the friendships of those that the girlfriend and boyfriend once had with other people. While this is not to be found all of the time, it does happen. In the end, it's never good when a boyfriend and girlfriend become close with each other, but shut out everything else in their lives, not just including their own personal friends.

Every healthy relationship, especially that of a younger age, needs to have their space between their boyfriend and girlfriend. It's neither healthy for the person or the relationship if they don't focus on other things. Friends, schoolwork, and etc...

Every relationship that I've seen where the boyfriend and girlfriend revolve around each other, fail. It's never going to work out that way.