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Thread: --First born--

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    Re: --First born--

    My little sister is a total headache and I'm usually the one that helps our Mother around the household.

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    Re: --First born--

    I have a younger brother. My parents treat us equal in most cases but because he is younger now and then he gets away with some stuff but it's not bad

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    Re: --First born--

    I'm the younger of two children, and the only girl... My brother is the favorite. ^w^ They said I have too much of a *snap, nap, snap* a-tti-tude.

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    Re: --First born--

    I have 2 kids... and I try to treat them as equally as possible. I dont feel like I love one more than ther other... but I do treat them slightly different..

    They're different kids.

    I cuddle more with my youngest (he's 4). He's still at that clingy age. My oldest clings to sometimes. but it annoys me more. He's HUGE. (He's 6).

    My youngest doesn't get reprimanded as harshly for somethings.. because my oldest has had more time to learn his lesson. So when he does stuff he knows better than to do is far more frustrating. Where as the younger one is just learning some of these lessons.

    I don't think I have a preferrence. Except to say, I appreciate having alone time with one child. They behave better seperately. I rarely get one child to themselves. but when I do its refreashing.

    Also when I was pregnant with my second.. I worried slightly about not loving him as much as my first. Its just that I had already been so connected with my oldest. We had already gone through so much. And I wasn't sure if I could spread myself so thin. BUT. its really quite natural.. the fear. Once he was here it was just like my first. I brought him home and gave him my heart. Now, Im willing to bet... my oldest probably feels like he's been slighted.

    I am the youngest of 2 girls. My sisters says I was favored. I certainly took alot of attention. But a great deal of that attention felt negative. Or more like my parents pittied me or were obligated. They certainly seemed worn out and frustrated that I required so much attention. I never kept good grades. I struggled in school. I wasn't very active, so I had a huge weight problem. I was depressed early on in life.

    My sister was social. Had lots of friends. Kept good grades. She was always thin, in fact... now she is a model. She looks younger than me even though she is 30. My parents never had to stay on top of her as much. And I thought she liked it that way until we got older and she expressed how frustrating it was for her to need attention... but never get it becuase everyone is too envolved in my messes to see whats going on with her.

    Unfortunately even though we are adults. I still am a chaotic basketcase and I still require attention\rescue. Even ask my sister for help sometimes. And she still expresses frustration in that. No matter what though. My sister and I are fairly close.
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    Re: --First born--

    My situation is a little different then some. And it's unconventional to say the least. I am my fathers THIRD youngest child. I am my mothers oldest.

    I had no relationship emotionally with my dad until I was over nineteen years old. I knew him. I knew I had a dad all my life. I met him when I was seven. (My parents were never married.) I don't feel like my dad plays favorites although he clearly has a much stronger relationship with my youngest siblings on that side. Which is of course because he knows them best and was there for ALL of their life, instead of pieces of it like with the rest of us. I feel sometimes they hold more weight with him, but I am not hurt by this. They've spent their whole life with him.

    My mother, always seemed to play favorites to me. And still does sometimes but in different ways. I lived with my grandparents until I was ten years old. As a child I felt like my mother didn't want me and didn't love me. And that she loved and liked my sister more because she often got nasty when my grandparents asked her to stay longer, but she ea sily let me go back to them without a word. (I later learned the reason for this was different then I thought.) When I finally did live with my mom I felt less as if my mother was playing favorites. If anything I was being treated more favorably, although my behavior was a lot easier to reward then my younger sisters.
    I was always bookish, polite, relatively quiet at home, I got in little trouble at school, only ever for talking or something like that, I was a smart mouth however which did get me in trouble, but generally speaking aside from not going to school in highschool, I was an ideal child. Though I was extremely depressed and anxious which can't be easy for a parent to deal with. I know that it caused my mom to walk on egg shells with me, and I know that my behavior and social anxiety let me get extra privileges like not having a curfew if I happened to go out. Where as my sister by highschool had turned from a good grades receiving star student and child, had become a boy crazy smart mouthed disobedient snot who got into a number of fights in and out of school and dressed like a tramp. She wasn't allowed out past a certain time there were repercussions if she was a half hour late, where as if I was, it was let go.
    So it looks like I was favored, and probably as adults still does. My mother often requests my company and retreats from my sister, my mother praises my small amount of parenting skills, and complains about my sister almost constantly (although I'm sure she complains plenty about me behind my back, she's two faced like that.) My sisters emotional stability has become much more demanding as I've learned to better keep my feelings to myself and at least behave like a normal human being around others.

    Now, my grandparents, whom both my sister and I lived with, definitely played favorites. Or my grandmother did I should say, and my grandpa did whatever she said bless him. But I had lived with my grandparents for a few years before she came to live with us and she only did so, not because she wanted to but because my mother needed help. My grandma used to buy us toys at the store, she'd buy me the expensive barbie I wanted since last allowance day, and get my sister something crappy and cheap. I don't even remember because when my mom caught wind of such behaviors she made a huge stink and after that we both got exactly the same thing.
    Last edited by bratling; Aug 18, 2009 at 11:45 AM. Reason: It looked like a big paragraph.

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    Re: --First born--

    People are always surprised to find out I have an older brother since in most families in America the oldest son is named after the father. My parents were sort of like hippies so they named my brother after a favorite german philosopher. He eventual changed it so we all have the same last name. Every once and awhile when I talk to people I have to tell them that. What's funny is you see that more and more these days. But back in my older brothers hey day no one did that and he was though of as weird.

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    Re: --First born--

    I'm the eldest son and I have a younger brother, but I never got the feeling that we were treated differently in any way.
    Attention's on my brother most of the time though, since he makes more troubles studying in school than I did.
    And since my parents know that I can do my stuff, they care about my brother a little bit more. But I'm perfectly fine with that, I rather try to not rely on them too much so they can really concentrate on making something out of my bro'. :x

    I'm named after the grandfather of my dad by the way.
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    Re: --First born--

    XD i am the oldest girl in the family out of 4 XD well i have two brothers older than me but my mum opened her eyes at a girl who is me ... XD well my parents love my big brother so much and every parents have the right for that becasue the first child the first one make them dad and mum and i don't have any problem with that ^^ ... but there will be a problem when they love him over us i think the word jealousy will work here lol like "we are yours kids too" :P pr something like that XD but when they give us the same love or a little more love for my old brother it is ok as long they love us ^_- ... =^_^=
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