Thread: Friends before skin...

I have to say that this to me is a very touch subject. I did have a boyfriend who did cheat on me but I did not know that it was someone that I knew. I was only dating the guy for little about two months. For some reason one of my friends told me and I asked him but he just deni the hole thing. In my situation I just put up a big wall and just push him far away from me. In the end I just broke up with him. I later went up and asked the person that he cheated on me with and she told me that she was really sorry and that it really shouldn't of happend in the first place. I just told her that at the time I was pissed off but now I just put it behind me and we wound up being friends. In my opinion I really don't think that someone should come between friendship but........ if that does happend you just need to believe that there is a reason why, and try not to think about it as much.

If its been that long I would probably bring up the matter with the one friend that it happend to and see if all the dust has settled. If so then I would start talk about the other friend with him. Test the waters so to speak, if everything is good then I would try to bring them back together to get them to talk some. But as a warning you will be putting yourself in a bad position if things fall apart so be very careful if you want to get them back together. Also please remember they will never go back to the way they use to be.....so think things thru before you do anything.

Well my ex roomate\bestfriend slept with my babys father. (then they had a 2 year relationship) It took place about 2 days after he and I "broke up"... But I heard they were getting close while he and I were together.
I was his friend and his girl before I ever knew she exsisted. So I cant really say I let a man come between us. Shes the one who decided our friendship wasn't worth her respecting me... So... I can't really say I regret our friendship ending (Its seems she was never my friend to begin with). Losing HIM hurt more than anything ever hurt me (and thats saying alot considering I've had to be resesitated to life before). I lost 2 friends and the love of my life all at once.

But I gained a son (a piece of his father that I can raise to be a better man). And strength. Wisdom. I learned people who don't know how to trust.... can not be trusted.

In your situation.. I think you should just continue to stay out of it. Theres nothing you really can do on either end, The girl may be skanky.. but thats the mother of one of your friends child. Thats a big deal. As far as the other friend... I think if the friendship was that important to him... he would never have gave in. But hey, what do I know?

Cest la vie... friendships fall apart, people cheat, people get hurt.

Best you can do is be thankful it isnt you.

All I can say is that there's a lesson ta b learned here and as long as u learn it... everythin's gonna be alright. And if u wanna still b friends wit them both, fine, jus' don' let them put u inna position ta choose between the two of them. The one friend made the mistake, not u, the other chose ta end the friendship wit the other, not u. A true friend will never put u inna position ta choose, so b careful 'cause it may happen. I've been there once and it's not a position I wanna b put in again. Jus' watch ur back, man, u don' wanna get "blindsided" inta a situation like that.

Originally Posted by fireandice

If its been that long I would probably bring up the matter with the one friend that it happend to and see if all the dust has settled. If so then I would start talk about the other friend with him. Test the waters so to speak, if everything is good then I would try to bring them back together to get them to talk some. But as a warning you will be putting yourself in a bad position if things fall apart so be very careful if you want to get them back together. Also please remember they will never go back to the way they use to be.....so think things thru before you do anything.

If I bring up the friend who cheated with the one who got cheated on he switch the subject real quick... The one who cheated though still thinks about him time from time he regrets the whole situation I remember one night when me & him went by his house & honk the horn for him to come outside (like we use to do in the past) he didn't come to the door, so I called him, but he didn't pick up the phone (he was there though)... N*E*ways the friend who cheated just started talking about how much he f'd up & how he lost a good friend & started shedding tears... That kind of hurt me to see that cause I mean we all was like brothers...

Originally Posted by ice viper

I have to say that this to me is a very touch subject. I did have a boyfriend who did cheat on me but I did not know that it was someone that I knew. I was only dating the guy for little about two months. For some reason one of my friends told me and I asked him but he just deni the hole thing. In my situation I just put up a big wall and just push him far away from me. In the end I just broke up with him. I later went up and asked the person that he cheated on me with and she told me that she was really sorry and that it really shouldn't of happend in the first place. I just told her that at the time I was pissed off but now I just put it behind me and we wound up being friends. In my opinion I really don't think that someone should come between friendship but........ if that does happend you just need to believe that there is a reason why, and try not to think about it as much.

Sorry to hear about that, but at least you both realized that it isn't worth being upset forever about the matter & moved on to become friends... Like I said no male or female should ever come between your happiness or amongst friends... But I know that it does happen *Trust me*....

Originally Posted by Peach_follows

Well my ex roomate\bestfriend slept with my babys father. (then they had a 2 year relationship) It took place about 2 days after he and I "broke up"... But I heard they were getting close while he and I were together.
I was his friend and his girl before I ever knew she exsisted. So I cant really say I let a man come between us. Shes the one who decided our friendship wasn't worth her respecting me... So... I can't really say I regret our friendship ending (Its seems she was never my friend to begin with). Losing HIM hurt more than anything ever hurt me (and thats saying alot considering I've had to be resesitated to life before). I lost 2 friends and the love of my life all at once.

But I gained a son (a piece of his father that I can raise to be a better man). And strength. Wisdom. I learned people who don't know how to trust.... can not be trusted.

In your situation.. I think you should just continue to stay out of it. Theres nothing you really can do on either end, The girl may be skanky.. but thats the mother of one of your friends child. Thats a big deal. As far as the other friend... I think if the friendship was that important to him... he would never have gave in. But hey, what do I know?

Cest la vie... friendships fall apart, people cheat, people get hurt.

Best you can do is be thankful it isnt you.

Ooooh!!! A ex-roomate/bestfriend I know how they can be (the roomate part) even the bestfriend too I guess you can say... Well it all was probably based on opportunity... Then she probably even wanted what you had/got (obvious I know) n*e*ways she was just waiting to move in on him or vice/versa cause I know he played his part too... I just hate it that you lost two bestfriends & a lover, but like you said you gained a friend, a son & some to love & love you back... The good out weighed the bad... lol *joking* , but yea' I'm glad you are going to teach your son how to be a better man also... And thanks for the advice too!!!

Originally Posted by Joe Mage

All I can say is that there's a lesson ta b learned here and as long as u learn it... everythin's gonna be alright. And if u wanna still b friends wit them both, fine, jus' don' let them put u inna position ta choose between the two of them. The one friend made the mistake, not u, the other chose ta end the friendship wit the other, not u. A true friend will never put u inna position ta choose, so b careful 'cause it may happen. I've been there once and it's not a position I wanna b put in again. Jus' watch ur back, man, u don' wanna get "blindsided" inta a situation like that.

You are so right!!! A lesson has been taught... I knew from the get go that it was probably going to end in tragedy... And I try not to get in the middle of anything I let them know that I am friends with the both of them & that I will never put one over the other really... I just hate it when they both still care, but have much pride to admit to one another that they do... At times though when they both want to hang out at the same time though it does put me in an akward position, so I just chill at the house... So no one would hear that I am with one over the other or some sort of thing like that....