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Thread: Handling Anger !

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    Handling Anger !

    We all know what anger is, and we've all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage.

    Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. This brochure is meant to help you understand and control anger.
    What is Anger?

    The Nature of Anger

    Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.

    Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (Such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.

    Expressing Anger

    The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.

    On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.

    People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.

    Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.

    Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.

    Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.
    As Dr. Spielberger notes, "when none of these three techniques work, that's when someone—or something—is going to get hurt."


    Anger Management

    The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.

    Are You Too Angry?

    There are psychological tests that measure the intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger you are, and how well you handle it. But chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help finding better ways to deal with this emotion.

    Why Are Some People More Angry Than Others?

    According to Jerry Deffenbacher, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in anger management, some people really are more "hotheaded" than others are; they get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person does. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud spectacular ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk, or get physically ill.

    People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake.

    What makes these people this way? A number of things. One cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Another may be sociocultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught that it's all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.

    Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.

    Is It Good To "Let it All Hang Out?"

    Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research has found that "letting it rip" with anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation.

    It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.
    ok anger can be handles many ways a few examples are wrting ,punching
    bags or running,but i want to know how you handle it, let not make this into
    a journal thread this is an actual question,

    here is a link for more info Controlling Anger Before it Controls You
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

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    Re: Handling Anger !

    I only skimmed through it because it sounds like those self help books. I usually train so I become so exhausted I'm too tired to become angry or I temporarily forget why I'm angry.
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    Re: Handling Anger !

    So some people are short tempered. So what. :P I know I don't get mad at people, but very very very sad. () Its tha sad thing. :P I wish I could get mad, but its just my sadness gone out of hand!

    We'll there are 2 people. Ones that take it out of others, and ones that take it out on themself.

    Anger or Depression. ^_^
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    Re: Handling Anger !

    I don't handle it, or at least I don't handle it better compared to how I didn't handle it before. I try to exercise when people really get me angry, since the adrenaline is there and I need to find a way to burn it off. But sometimes there just aren't places to go running and do push-ups until you puke.

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    Re: Handling Anger !

    i just crushed a couple of plastic bottle, then i'll be okay!

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    Re: Handling Anger !

    Take Homer Simpson's advice:

    Just contain all that anger into a tiny little ball and release it at the right moment.

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    Re: Handling Anger !

    Quote Originally Posted by Hassun View Post
    Take Homer Simpson's advice:

    Just contain all that anger into a tiny little ball and release it at the right moment.
    Sounds like a plan!

    Containing your emotions never lead to anything good.
    Seduced by Flesh


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    Re: Handling Anger !

    the anger i have can be pretty easily ticked off, pretty much i dont have control of it though and i cant help it either, guess i need help

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