I have lost the love I had before and it has made me hink that I'm just not strong enough to love and be happy... I fall in love quickly and give myself away and till now this love has turned out to be too weak to survive... I'm an open person so I'll tell you something about my expierience.
My story (I'll try to make it reall short) is really strange... I fell in love with a guy, soon afterwards it came out to be that he likes me too and he became my boyfriend... When we were together I felt like in heaven, I was sure that it couldn't be better.
We were together for eight months and we both changed and got through all kinds of trouble together. Then I understood that I can't live with him drinking like he did, I tried to make him understand that and he just dcided to leave me.
Ofcourse he changed his mind the next day... But during that night I had thought about it all and I had understood that if he could say that he wants it all to be over when his drunk, than sooner or later he will do it anyway and I said no- I din't take him back.
Some time passed and on my birthday he came to me (drunk ofcourse) and tried to talk with me... none of the things that he said made much sence, I don't remember what exactly I said but it made him mad and the next moment he hit me in the face. It hurt a lot... my heart hurt a lot.
The best thing was that after a moment he came back and told me an old russians saying witch would sound something like: "The one who doesn't hit (his wife or children), doesn't love."
I avoid him afterwards.
Now, when I remember our relatonship I can't find anything good in it... Now I understand that nothing was really as good as I tried to tell myself it was, now i understand why my friends always asked me: "How can you stand him?"
Now I've become more stronger and thoughtful when chosing boyfriends, I've lost my strong belief in love and godnes and I can't stand the presence of drunk people. He no longer drinks and has started to price what he has and I'm sure he's a better person now.
The thing I have understood after this parting is that sometimes losing something you love (or think you love) is even good, because some people imagine love where there's no love at all. Love is hard to understand and hard to find. Be careful wen you chose your boy/girl-friend.