I, myself, am practically a slut. A male nypmho. I want it all the time. I'm like this due to how I grew up. I won't get into that, but I'm saying I wasn't originally like this. You may think that this is a "guy"-thing. But it's not. If I were to talk to any other guy out there about their sexual "timing" or "thoughts" or "habits" or even "schedules" - those guys would think I have a serious problem. To them, I'm a sex addict.
My girlfriend on the other hand, goes through natural "seasons" like a good number of nice girls out there. And she'll refuse me until she gets into those seasons. ...and that can take a long time at times.
Do we still have a successful relationship? Oh hell yeah.
We're still rock'n and roll'n love throughout the centuries.
We're never tired of each other, our fights are logically based and is never a threat to our relationship, we know each others' thoughts and communicate our feelings and ideas more often than most couples do.
5 and a half years strong, never wavered.
In fact, our relationship was only rocky in the beginning. Only gotten stronger ever since.
So... does that paint a picture for you?
Lustfully speaking, it's unbalanced. I lust for her much more than she lusts for me. And you'd think a frustrated boy like me would complain and bicker about sex - but I don't, I understand why she doesn't want it all the time while I want it all the time. And I love her, so I respect her refusals to the utmost degree. I'm still overly playful, but she understands that's just how I get things out there.
To balance would mean to give and take so that it's equal enough. The amount of lust I have for my gal doesn't take away any love I have for her. I love her today as much as I did in the beginning (actually, I love her moreso, as I love her more every moment I have with her --corny, I know). If she really felt strongly for it, she could ask me to stop having any sexual interactions with her. And if she really felt strongly for it, she could beg me to stop lusting. I would negotiate and ask why, for the sake that this is a fair relationship - and if she has a good enough reason: I'll stop. I can stop myself from having any sexual interactions with her, and I can discipline myself to lose that lust. I know I can, I know how to. But I don't need to until she has a good reason for it.
But even if I dropped all that lust, I'd still love her all the same. My love for her has no dependence on my lust.
I do indeed love her for the things I lust from her as well, but I love that the same way I love her looks, voice, and feel. If she lost any of those, I'd still love her.
People say that's loyalty, I say "f*** them". That's not loyalty. My only loyalty for her is for what she does for me (I'm a fair person. People only deserve loyalty if they do something FOR you). What I have for her is love, for who she is, no matter what happens to her or me.
Take away my lust, and I'll have more time to love my gal. I don't see a problem with that.
I don't need Lust to love my gal, that's never been the case.
Lust is fun though.
So it's a preference in the end.
Strict religious couples rarely have sex, or even no sex at all. To say you need "excitement" in your relationship in the form of sex shows that you aren't doing enough in your relationship.
Abu and I still go on crazy adventures that we know we don't NEED excitement through sex. It's just a preference.