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Thread: Meeting the parents: Major hurdle?

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    Warrior Monk kedar may be famous one day kedar may be famous one day kedar's Avatar
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    Meeting the parents: Major hurdle?

    Dear members of AO,

    Okay, so you fall in love with each other, and then in time you both become serious about coupling up, you and your girlfriend/boyfriend I mean. Now what? Wedding? No, let us not get hasty here. First: It's time to meet the parents, and win over daddy's little princess or mommy's little boy.

    I haven't actual.. direct personal experience with this, but from what I have heard and seen, entering your potential in-laws domain is serious business, mainly for those who are strongly intending to marry each other. Their union may be at stake here ~ But let's not forget the fun and excitement, right?!? Especially the question and answer session, when you get grilled, marinated, and chewed. I have seen it happen to my older sister's once-boyfriend now-husband. Lucky for him, my mom allied with him. Hahah~ Mothers usually do that, right? Join forces with their daughters' boyfriend to take on the man of the house? It depends, I suppose. Anyways.

    Now, questions (You don't have to answer all. And answer whatever you feel is applicable):

    1) Have you had the opportunity to meet your boyfriend's or girlfriend's parents? Care to share some of your experiences?
    2) For those who haven't yet had the pleasure, do have any fears or concerns about your future meeting with your lover's parents? If so, what are they?
    3) Do/did you look happily forward to this confrontation or are/were you worried to bits?
    4) How much does your parents' approval weigh? If they say "no", would you comply accordingly? Or do parents really have much of a choice? From what I have seen, parents typically give in at the end of the day, regardless of what they felt initially, if they find their daughter's or son's relationship to be true and serious.

    You may even just share your general views on this matter, offer useful tidbits or insights, or just express what you learned about this from a direct/indirect experience. =)

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    NalaMidnight Eggs Champion P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess's Avatar
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    Re: Meeting the parents: Major hurdle?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kedar
    1) Have you had the opportunity to meet your boyfriend's or girlfriend's parents? Care to share some of your experiences?
    3) Do/did you look happily forward to this confrontation or are/were you worried to bits?
    4) How much does your parents' approval weigh? If they say "no", would you comply accordingly? Or do parents really have much of a choice? From what I have seen, parents typically give in at the end of the day, regardless of what they felt initially, if they find their daughter's or son's relationship to be true and serious.
    1) i have had the pleasure of meeting my bfs parents. And i would have to say i was intimidated like so intimidated by his mom. He is a mamma's boy all the way. and she is very protective. The good thing is that his parents loved me. At the time they didn't know about me and him and his father would try and get him to hook up with some girl from his church but his mom was like "if you get with them i will disown you, i would rather you date hilary(me)."
    The funny part is that their church has this rule that you cant date outside the church so it was a shock hearing that come out of her and of course she never said in front of me. lol.

    3) I WAS LIKE ABOUT TO PEE IN MY PANTS!! His mom is like so scary when you first meet her. XD but i have now learned to love her. she is very nice when you get to know her. same with his dad.

    4) i have to say their approval is like the deciding factor. If they say no then their is no more going out. If they say yes then you can be together.
    and for some of my ex's my mom had made the desicion for me. I am honestly glad she did though. I have to say that its good to have a parents approoval cause they know whats good for their child even if the child doesn't and i know that first hand.
    So yea i think parents have the final say.

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    Lost in confusion Tetrix 2 v2 Champion Sazzy is making a name for themselves Sazzy is making a name for themselves Sazzy's Avatar
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    Re: Meeting the parents: Major hurdle?

    Quote Originally Posted by kedar View Post
    1) Have you had the opportunity to meet your boyfriend's or girlfriend's parents? Care to share some of your experiences?
    2) For those who haven't yet had the pleasure, do have any fears or concerns about your future meeting with your lover's parents? If so, what are they?
    3) Do/did you look happily forward to this confrontation or are/were you worried to bits?
    4) How much does your parents' approval weigh? If they say "no", would you comply accordingly? Or do parents really have much of a choice? From what I have seen, parents typically give in at the end of the day, regardless of what they felt initially, if they find their daughter's or son's relationship to be true and serious.

    You may even just share your general views on this matter, offer useful tidbits or insights, or just express what you learned about this from a direct/indirect experience. =)
    I met Solking's parents my final four days in America. I felt really nervous when walking to his front door as I wasn't sure what to expect. I was told many times by Solking that I would be fine and that they will love me. I suppose I really was nervous but that went away when they actually hugged me to greet me. I was saying "wow they are so nice" in my head. Then when I was showed to Solking's bedroom where I was sleeping (he was on the sofa in the lounge). I was asking Solking if he thought it went ok, which I think it did.

    Over the whole weekend, after dinner, we would get asked questions etc and I felt really bad that most of the time, Solking was answering them but I did answer some. Of course, I was shocked when his father said "future wife". I think my heart skipped a beat and it caught me off guard. That later Solking said "awww I saw your face when dad said "future wife"". Well it was unexpected. But we really got on well, I mean for his father to say future wife or what ever, it was a good thing because he was giving us his blessing.

    They want me to go back and see them soon as we got on so well. But I am sure Solking will give you more information about it if he ever posts a reply. I don't feel bad about meeting them, I really happy I did, not only did I get to see photographs of the family, but I felt really welcomed and I feel happier knowing we don't have to hide anything from his parents.

    As for giving advise, I would just say be yourself and don't try to impress them. Of course if they are religious then don't wear low cut tops it will help give them a bad impression. So yeah, if you are true to yourself then they will accept you for being who you are. Also, try to be nice, it does help. I remember Solking's sister-in-law saying that his parents are really bad. Yet they are the opposite. So I would say don't expect them to be what other people say they except your partner as they know them best.

    Well next I have to get Solking to meet my parents, which will go the same way because my parents may seem bad if you are talking to me about them. But really, they are great and easy going.

    I don't really know what I will do if they don't give us their blessing. I might still go through with it as they know how I feel about Solking and nothing is going to change it. I just really would love to have their blessing and have my Dad walk me down the aisle for my wedding in the future. I suppose you can't really say what you will do because parents can really surprise you when you least expect it.
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    Re: Meeting the parents: Major hurdle?

    Yes, I did meet the parents of my ex and even though I was scared as hell.........it was not bad at all........
    The parents prepared a very nice dinner and we just had a peaceful conversation where we kept the chat light........I was afraid that they were going to ask a lot of personal questions and start judging me by my answers......not that I would care......
    I think that that was my number one issue..the whole judging thing......but I guess that I got lucky!!!
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    Re: Meeting the parents: Major hurdle?

    Quote Originally Posted by kedar View Post
    1) Have you had the opportunity to meet your boyfriend's or girlfriend's parents? Care to share some of your experiences?
    3) Did you look happily forward to this confrontation or were you worried to bits?
    4) How much does your parents' approval weigh? If they say "no", would you comply accordingly? Or do parents really have much of a choice?
    1) yes... the first time i offically met all of them was at Soshi's 17th(?) birthday party. i got along really well with his cousins and auntie, and his mom seemed to not hate me that much. Darling said when i left that all they could talk about was how tall i was (them 5' 6 at most, me about 5' 9)... they didn't really mention race becuz they all knew since they were kids that Soshi would end up with a white girl! but, nowadays, his mom has grown to like me (it helped that i was a receptionist at her salon for about a year), and i've grown to really like his family too.

    for him and my family... totally different story. we had a long history before Darling and my parents met... only the only reason why they began to accept the relationship or even wanted to see Soshi was when i went to meet him at Taco Bell and didn't tell anyone. when that happend, my parents saw that i was serious and decided to meet him at the very same Taco Bell. my dad rambled on "oh, if anything happends to my daughter, i'm coming after you blah blah" and my mom basically said a whole lot of nothing... things haven't really improved since then, i really have to divide my time between Darling and my family. he comes to birthday parties and such, but there's an awkward feeling that is quite intense. my dad doesn't like him cuz he's not white and he barely talks to them... my mom, ya know, i guess it becuz he's taking her baby away... (sigh) it makes me very sad, but i love my Darling and want him over everyone/anything else...

    3) i was super worried when i first met everyone. and i still kinda feel that way now. i get along with them very well, i just get nervous when i meet other parts of his family. they're very much like a clan who don't take too well to newcomers... pretty much the only ones who've accepted me are his mother, father (he's in another country, but he seems to like me), his cousin, his other cousin and his auntie... and, his brothers don't seem to care. everyone else in the clan sees me as very much an outsider and it will take YEARS before any of those walls can really be climbed. notice i said CLIMBED and not BROKEN, note the difference!

    as for Darling meeting my 'rents... his brother and his fiance both prayed for him before he met my parents... that helped a little, but still daunting. Darling isn't really scared of my parents, it's just... how do you talk to people who you know will probably never accept you? how do you click with them? (sigh) again, it tears me up sometimes, but... ^_^ i don't regret any of it... he's my Darling and my best friend, and i love him... so screw them!

    4) note previous sentence!

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    ★~Ao's Irish Fariy ~★ equinn may be famous one day equinn may be famous one day equinn's Avatar
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    Re: Meeting the parents: Major hurdle?

    1) Have you had the opportunity to meet your boyfriend's or girlfriend's parents? Care to share some of your experiences?

    no i haven't have the chance to met his but im sure there cool anyways ^^

    2) For those who haven't yet had the pleasure, do have any fears or concerns about your future meeting with your lover's parents? If so, what are they?

    well some of mine would be that they wont like me for some resion ... ( i get scared about things like that)


    3) Do/did you look happily forward to this confrontation or are/were you worried to bits?

    yes i do but i still thing it would be scary at the same time for me...

    4) How much does your parents' approval weigh? If they say "no", would you comply accordingly? Or do parents really have much of a choice? From what I have seen, parents typically give in at the end of the day, regardless of what they felt initially, if they find their daughter's or son's relationship to be true and serious.

    ok well my mother isn't allowing the girls in our house get married ( even tho she is XD)
    and i don't care if it come to the stage i wanna marry my bf i will !
    and if my mum and dad don't like him i don't care ether like really thy dont know him like i do so they cant really say alot

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    Re: Meeting the parents: Major hurdle?

    hummm...my ex bf was Italian, he was an exchange student in Portugal, last summer I went to Florence with him and I meet his parents...well I was a lit bit sick and i couldnt speak coz of the long travel..first of all they stared on me cos Im not a white girl(LoL) then they though i was rude to not smile all time(I was terrible sick), and the oddest part was the quetions,...they scared that hell up me!! His father was a jock, talks and laughs to loud, makes fun of everyone. Everytime i said something about the future he stared at me seriouly than he asked for a glass of milke for me...never understood why!! Geez was painful

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    Re: Meeting the parents: Major hurdle?

    1.Yes,yes i have. lol. his mom was ok with it and also his dad
    2.I was Worried to bits they might think i was just a stupid girl he had a crush on at school
    3.They soon said yes..after alot of talking. They told him to treat me right and stuff..did he..YES!
    Yeah, Bye.

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