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Thread: Meeting the parents: Major hurdle?

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    Otaku Hantei16 is off to a good start Hantei16's Avatar
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    Re: Meeting the parents: Major hurdle?

    heh..i rarely talk about stuff like this..

    1) Have you had the opportunity to meet your boyfriend's or girlfriend's parents? Care to share some of your experiences?

    -Yes, 2 of my ex-gf's mums hated me...mum 1 hated me coz i wasn't her ideal guy for her daughter, why? coz i had long hair(then) and (was)a member of a rock band, ican't blame her tho...but hey, she should've tried to know me more...i'm not technically goody-2-shoes but i'm definitely not a bad guy...mum 2 hated me and even shouted at me coz it was already 10pm and her daughter was still out with me, but hey, we were just a couple of blocks away from their home...they live in a village for the high-rollers and i ended up getting banned from that village...

    yeah it can be quite a hurdle indeed....

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    Otaku crimson is off to a good start crimson's Avatar
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    Re: Meeting the parents: Major hurdle?

    ah! now that is an event i never want to repeat ever again... but sadly i really have to... coz i'm trying to get to the next step of our relationship... and i was so grilled the last time i met both of her parents! gag!!! i almost died...

    imagine? the ask you every question possible!!! what the hell do they want me to answer??? they even asked me whether i'd use a condom or not? wah! sex isn't on my mind yet?! hahahahaha!

    parents are really a big hurdle to overcome... to add, her father really doesn't like me at all... crap!
    i'll choose to love whoever i wish to love and nobody can stop me from doing so ----

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Meeting the parents: Major hurdle?

    lol ^^ Another nice topic from kedar.. Well ok lets see:

    1. Well I met my ex bf mother... Ussually it happened just passing by... I didn't even talk much to her!!! I don't know if she liked me or not, but it didn't actually seem that important...
    But I surely made my ex bf meet my parents!!! My mother was really strict about me getting home in time for dinner and for sleep therefore we ussualy spent the last half hour on my staircase just in case. And one day my dad decided to call my ex in for dinner too
    Ya, so that's how my parents got to know my ex bf, my parents were not that strict about it, they've always trusted me in my own decisions. I think my ex has changed their mind a bit though- he was not of the nicest guys as it turned out in the end
    But my grandfather though, really did get my ex "grilled, marinated, and chewed", that was very funny actually, but oh well...

    2. Yes, I might have some concenrs about meeting my nowadays bf parents. Well firstly because I'm white- white as paper, I don't know what his mother might think about that. Secondly because I'm not muslim. I'm going to be but I aint gonna wear that scarf thing over my head! And she has already said that I'm too pretty, so I don't know what to think about that
    I'm more worried though about him meeting my parents. Because of the same reasons only my parents are maybe not as open minded as I'd wish them to be, I sometimes find them quite rasistic.
    But those meetings have to wait like at least two years. And who knows if we'll even survive those two years. Anything can happen

    3. I'm looking happily forward to meating his parents and I was with my ex, but I'm not that excited about showing him of to my parents. I guess I really don't find the guys parents the main factor. Or maybe I feel that they'll love me anyways. Or maybe this is because I haven't actually had any experience with meeting my bfs parents

    4. Well, after all we've already been through, I really doubt my parents "no" could affect my feelings towards him, unless I've found myself that we don't really fit together in real life, I'm fighting this chance with all my might though But I'd deffinetely would feel terrible if they said "no" because I really love my parents and I wish to make them happy... So I really hope they'll like him ^^

    Well alltogether I think that your parents opinion is getting less and less important nowadays- children tend to be more and more selfstanding. But there will always be people who really do care of their parents...
    I don't think that parents deciding in childrens place is a good thing, only the person him/herself knows exactly how he feels, how strong these feelings are and so on... But there are things that parents notice and children do not, so it's smart to listen to the opinion of the elders ^^

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    Otaku urlovelyassassin is off to a good start
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    Re: Meeting the parents: Major hurdle?

    1) I haven't really i mean i met my ex's mom before and she was nice i think the trick is to meet them a little early instead of like a month before you marry you have more time then lol
    2) not really because it all just matters between me and the person i love and people generally like me so ^_^ i have no worries
    3) i have no problem with it
    4) well right now its just me and my mom and she trusts me
    if i introduced her to someone i thought i loved she would trust my decision no matter what
    she knows im strong enough to break it off if and when i feel like i have to or if something goes wrong


    comment: i find it funny how some people when they're in love have to meet eachother's kids. if you ask me i think its more diffecult to win over the kids than the parents haha

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    5.00 M33-6 solking may be famous one day solking may be famous one day solking's Avatar
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    Re: Meeting the parents: Major hurdle?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sazzy View Post
    I met Solking's parents my final four days in America. I felt really nervous when walking to his front door as I wasn't sure what to expect. I was told many times by Solking that I would be fine and that they will love me. I suppose I really was nervous but that went away when they actually hugged me to greet me. I was saying "wow they are so nice" in my head. Then when I was showed to Solking's bedroom where I was sleeping (he was on the sofa in the lounge). I was asking Solking if he thought it went ok, which I think it did.

    Over the whole weekend, after dinner, we would get asked questions etc and I felt really bad that most of the time, Solking was answering them but I did answer some. Of course, I was shocked when his father said "future wife". I think my heart skipped a beat and it caught me off guard. That later Solking said "awww I saw your face when dad said "future wife"". Well it was unexpected. But we really got on well, I mean for his father to say future wife or what ever, it was a good thing because he was giving us his blessing.

    They want me to go back and see them soon as we got on so well. But I am sure Solking will give you more information about it if he ever posts a reply. I don't feel bad about meeting them, I really happy I did, not only did I get to see photographs of the family, but I felt really welcomed and I feel happier knowing we don't have to hide anything from his parents.

    As for giving advise, I would just say be yourself and don't try to impress them. Of course if they are religious then don't wear low cut tops it will help give them a bad impression. So yeah, if you are true to yourself then they will accept you for being who you are. Also, try to be nice, it does help. I remember Solking's sister-in-law saying that his parents are really bad. Yet they are the opposite. So I would say don't expect them to be what other people say they except your partner as they know them best.

    Well next I have to get Solking to meet my parents, which will go the same way because my parents may seem bad if you are talking to me about them. But really, they are great and easy going.

    I don't really know what I will do if they don't give us their blessing. I might still go through with it as they know how I feel about Solking and nothing is going to change it. I just really would love to have their blessing and have my Dad walk me down the aisle for my wedding in the future. I suppose you can't really say what you will do because parents can really surprise you when you least expect it.
    You weren't the only one nervous. But as Sazzy said it went pretty well when she met my parents. The funny part was that Sazzy was shy and my mom is shy so they didn't talk much. It was mostly me and my dad. And when my childhood pictures came out and I felt like jumping out the window.

    Anyway I agree with what Sazzy said parents can surprise the hell out of you. Just be yourself. And be presentable. The last thing you want to do is look like a hobo or a street walker in front of the future in laws.

    In the end, what they think doesn't matter as much as we think. We are adults and we have to make our own decisions. Looking for your parents approval on everything will tend to get in the way of making your own decisions and can possibly lead to you loosing something. I think our parents know this and thats why they can surprise us when we least expect it.

    Now to get back on topic, I will be meeting Sazzy's parents soon. Not sure when but eventually. I'm nervous but I will be myself. I can't change that for anyone. I have to prepare for their questions. The biggest question is about future plans. If you don't have a good answer for that well then your stuck with in laws who don't like you.

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    Re: Meeting the parents: Major hurdle?

    Well actually... that's why before I get to have a serious bf he has had to be my friend... that way I meet his parents and he meets my parents before hand... that way... when you say: Hey mom... [insert name]... asked me to be his gf...
    1) mom knows him (if ur parents have actually meet your friends and know who u are with)
    2) it is not a big shock for him... 'cos he knows parents and parents know him and they at least know how to talk to each other...
    3) mom and dad both sides are more confortable knowing that you both were friends and at least knew each other a lil before...

    So...
    "Long friendship... short dating... everlasting marriage" (everlasting... I didn't say happily everafter...)
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