Reason to (and NOT to) tell him/her that you cheated.

Here's one:

What are some of the reasons (good and bad) to tell (or not tell) your other half that you cheated??

This thread was inspired by two articles I saw online from the same site.
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Note: If you are not going to be honest and give that cliche answer "I'm going to tell my other half for sure, and there's no good reason not to tell" then please don't post. Fronting won't help you win any points with the opposite sex :)

If you tell, there's a good chance that he/she will break up with you. However, there's also the chance that he/she will be forgiving (which, I kind of doubt, because if you do it once, you might do it again).

If you don't tell, there's a chance that he/she will find out anyways through other sources, and that'll be worse than if you'd told him/her yourself. There's also the chance that he/she will never find out, but then you'd probably be guilty for the rest of your life.

If I cheated on my partner (which I highly doubt; I must've been high on crack or something), I'd tell him ASAP because I can't cope with a guilty conscience. It also works both ways because I'd rather find out from my partner than from an outsider. Of course, it won't be easy to speak up. I don't think it ever is, unless you're an "apathetic bastard" (I mean no offence to Aceman67, but it seems the perfect phrase to use).

Well one good reason to tell is to make yourself feel better about what you have done, there is a chance that he/she will accept your appolpgy, if you want to appologize, and then you don't have to live in fear and shame.
Secondly, it is a good idea to tell to see if he/she really loves and cares for you. If he/she is upset, but want to work it out, she/he probably loves you very much. If he/she dumps you immadiately, or doesn't give a damn... then obviously that person does not really give damn for you.
Moving further on with that, it is a good idea to tell, because then you can talk to him/her. If you cheat on him/her, then something is obviously wrong with you two. Either you don't please each other enough, maybe he trusts you too much, maybe you are too restricted... there can be many such stuff getting in your way, and if you work it out, there is a greater chance that you will end up being together forever.
Also, it is a good idea to tell that you've cheated, if you want to get rid of him/her, it's a pretty good way if your the kind of person who finds it easier to tell a girl/guy that you've cheated on him rather than tell him/her that you have stopped loving.

You would not tell because you are scared of losing him/her, alothough if your other half would just leave you, it says something about your relationship. Furthermore, maybe you do have some problems which need to be solved in order for you to be happy together, even if you did it being very very drunk.
Another good reason not to tell would be if you are really scared of the person's reaction- he/she could beat you up or something like that. XD

I think that, if the relationship is true, the persons involved would not cheat on each other and so on, unless very very drunk and seduced by a hot girl/guy, and if that's the case... I mean even burglaries and fights are viewed more lightly if the person has been drunk, I guess I should forgive my bf if he gets drunk and seduced.

well if u 2 are honest and all i think u should tell like but if it was a mestake and u didnt mean it to happen like then explane what happened like

cos me and phil and no secrets and we tell eachother everything like and we know we wouldnt cheat and i think if phil was really drunk and didnt remeber and didnt mean any of it and made it up i guess it would be ok even though i would be really hurt (cos being cheated on has happened bafore so yeah )

I don't believe in other halves. Or cheating for that matter.... so this is a tricky question for me. The only time I ever cheated, I told....
My reason for telling goes hand in hand with my reason for cheating. At the time, it was in the begining of a new relationship, with someone I thought could never really be that interested in me. In other words... I didn't think he, or our relationship.... was that serious. However, once I began to realize that he inteded to seriously keep me. I told him. And that was the only time I have ever... Or would ever cheat.

My consquences were, when it became time where I was pregnant with his child... I believe he questioned weather or not it was his (more internally, than externally). He even expressed his doubts to his family. That hurt was more than any cheating was worth. Luckily for me, I produced his carbon copy. And all questioning ceased.

The truth be told there is no real good reason for cheating. Think about it, if you cared enough about some one you wouldn’t go behind their back and betray them. Even if the person you are with was horrible, you just leave their ass and find some one better. Cheating just doesn’t degrade the person you are with but you’re self as well. In all honesty it's a selfish act plain and simple regardless on how you spin it.
"We he/she cheated on me so I am going to cheat on him/her" Congratulations you became what you despised.
"Well I love him/her but not in love or at least not any more but I don't want to break his/her heart"
Well your going to break their heart any way as soon as they find out and the pain will be a lot more because you pulled a knife out and put in their back all because you didn't have the guts not to mention dignity to tell them up front because of your cowardice.
If you truly care about some one and there is a problem be it what ever... Talk it over with your partner, it’s that simple and try to work through it. If it works it works if it doesn’t it doesn’t.

But regardless of the stupid reason you have cheated on your partner, the best thing to do is say it and be up front about it. You have a chance of them forgiving you, but if they don't then you have only your self to blame, and don’t try to justify it because there is no real justification. If you with hold it from them then you are only betraying that person and your self even more, and they WILL find out about it 95% of the time in which case you are beyond forgiveness.

If I was cheating on a girl ill tell her because if u dont it will back fire on u and u will possibley lose to girls!!!!!!:2thumbs:

As many people have already said, there really is no good reasons for cheating.

I think that telling your partner is all dependent on you and how far you went. If it was say, just kissing, then there's really no need to tell because it's not like the guilt will eat you alive.

Now having sex with some one else while dating your partner, then i can understand if you would want to tell them, as getting away with cheating can only lead to worse things.