1. Have you ever had a deep conversation with yourself? Something that spurred an epiphany, or made sense of a troubling time.
Mostly it was about my love life. It was a troubling time having to hurt a friend. He liked me but I dumped him because we had nothing in common. I tried to ask for advice on how to let someone down easy but no one would listen to me. Some even believed I liked the fellow back and all was peachy keen.
My conversation with myself is about how I could have managed the situation better than to just blatantly blurt out "I'm not your girlfriend" on the phone which devastated him. He was hurt, but at the same time I was fed up of everybody ignoring me and believing I was his girlfriend when I was just looking for a study buddy for school.
Further stress came when people sympathized with him and didn't even bother to hear my side of the story.
2. What was the conversation in question and what was the epiphany?
In my conversation with myself I wrestled with my conscience about hurting someone however justified I may have been to end it. The epiphany was that I should have told him the whole truth instead of just bluntly ending it. I had my reasons for ending it. He just dwelled over his pain... but didn't consider that I had to end it because we have NOTHING in common and he just finds me attractive but shows no real interest in what I say. I told him not to steal from me and to go away when my temper flared but he just ignored me and copied my math homework. He was just a real dork.
The epiphany was it wasn't my fault I hurt him. He got what he deserved. If people just saw his side and not mine they weren't telling the WHOLE truth in that he got what he deserved. I didn't want him to feel bad but sometimes if I don't stand up for myself I just turn into a doormat and he'll just walk all over me.
3. How has this conversation changed you if at all?
This conversation changed me by knowing who is shallow and who has more depth. If people just consider one side and not all sides of the matter then they have bad judgement. I've learned to differentiate between people who have fairness and see all sides and who has bad judgement and just soaks in all the drama and nothing else.
I prefer reasonable people who are wise to people who just mouths off and are hypocrites.
I had my reasons to dump him. It hurt him.. but he had no future with me since I wasn't attracted to him, he doesn't listen to me when I tell him to go away over and over again before I throw something at him, he stole from me, he copied my homework, he babbles stupidly, acts like a one year old, flirts with every girl he sees, annoys everybody like it is a good thing and just generally makes a pest of himself. People ask if he is my boyfriend and I say no but they reply he has "feelings" for me. I just want to barf since he expresses his "feelings" for me by irritating me and ridiculing me. I don't get flowers or chocolate.. basically he just ignores me and then makes fun of my eating habits and the way I walk. I felt like throwing something at him but couldn't find a big enough book. I told him to go away but he just ignored me and went through my locker and wouldn't let go of my bag so I wouldn't leave him.
I just let him have my locker and bag and would walk away from him. He'd grab me by the wrist and I'd yell "let go". People thought I liked him... when I just wanted to hit him with something.
If a fellow likes me then I'd like for him to express it in romantic ways not be a major immoral pest. I told him to leave several times and he was actually surprised to hear that I wasn't his girlfriend. DUH!