Thread: Is today's Society forcing Children?

Originally Posted by Abu Dhabi

well, i think that parents push their kids today just as much as they did in the past. However, in the past it was all about work ethic, survival, and being the best at your job... so, you know, they could actually keep it...

>_< but i find that kids put it on themselves to be the best, more often then their parents pushing them (at least in the American culture), since parents don't really care about academics... but they're all for making their kids bleed in sports! but that's just my observation...

Ditto. Sounds just like what I was saying before, but put in different words. Great minds think alike!

Originally Posted by Shodokan

Me personally I really don't like it. Number One: to me it's kind of like slavery. It's one thing to make your kids work in the fields so your family can survive but it's one thing to make your kid stay inside all day and study while their friends are having fun and socializing.

Personally, I don't see how this is akin to slavery. Sure, it's sad that you have to sit indoors and read books when you could be outdoors kicking a pigskin around, but at the end of the day you're the one who's going to top the class. I suppose I don't find this so "severe" per se, because in Malaysia you won't see kids going to the movies a month before exams. I'm serious. They might not necessarily be studying, but they won't be out having sh*tloads of fun either.

Number Two: they're kind of like outcast. Everyone thinks they're overachievers and better than everone else so it's harder on that person when they socialize.

That's just sad, isn't it? If there's anyone who should be blamed for this, it's the people who shun the overachievers, not the overachievers or their parents. That said, I don't really see this happening. I mean, I can be competitive to the point of being really annoying, but when there isn't a competition to be worked up about everyone knows I'm pleasant and approachable. So no, I don't really see where you're coming from.

Besides academics. If you make your kid do an athletic acticity, piano or something they'll probably be good but never great. Has anyone seen that cheesy movie "The Ice Princess". It was about this girl who loved ice skating who ended up being better than the ice skating coach's daughter. Because she loved it so much.

Guess not, but why did she continue doing it anyway? It's not like she would have been whipped or sent to jail for calling it quits. I think it's good that parents try to get their kids involved in as many things as possible so they can find something they truly like or are good at. (I think we've talked about this in another thread too) And it's even better that parents push their kids to succeed. Example - I hated swimming, but my parents forced me to go for swimming classes and took me to the club pool three times a week and a year or so later I finally decided I kind of liked swimming.

Sometimes it just takes a while.

I think that people who force their kids to do some thing is going to end up making them worse in life. most people like that are trying to have their kids live up to what they couldn't. when the kid grows up they may be a jack @$$ just like their parents. but thats just my thought on the subject.

I don't think it's a good think to push you're kids. I mean I was always pushed to do good because well of personal reasons. And it always drove me insane. I went crazy. I just stopped caring about doing better. I mean I didn't care. I knew I wouldn't ace the SAT's or the ACT's, well I just didn't want to be like everyone else and study at insane hours trying into pass a test that takes hours to finish. (Which I have a somewhat poor attention span). You may say well "that's dumb, you're not going to get into a good college." You're wrong there are ways to get around the system. (legally). Anyways I just think that what parents are teaching is that peer pressure is a okay and the kids are going to have far more emotional breakdowns than anyone else. I know I did and I still do once in a blue moon. Besides kids who are pushed want to impress their parents more than their selfs which I think is kinda dumb. I stopped caring about what my parents thought and strived for myself. That's how the real world works.

Personally, I don't see how this is akin to slavery. Sure, it's sad that you have to sit indoors and read books when you could be outdoors kicking a pigskin around, but at the end of the day you're the one who's going to top the class. I suppose I don't find this so "severe" per se, because in Malaysia you won't see kids going to the movies a month before exams. I'm serious. They might not necessarily be studying, but they won't be out having sh*tloads of fun either.

You're at the top of your class in exchange for what? We can't all be doctors and lawyers. I mean don't you feel left behind when other people are good at other things when you're only good at school and those extracurricular activities your parents put you in. I'm confused now I thought your parents pushed you harder than other kids. Now you're saying they don't?

That's just sad, isn't it? If there's anyone who should be blamed for this, it's the people who shun the overachievers, not the overachievers or their parents. That said, I don't really see this happening. I mean, I can be competitive to the point of being really annoying, but when there isn't a competition to be worked up about everyone knows I'm pleasant and approachable. So no, I don't really see where you're coming from.

I'm not talking about being approachable or not. I'm talking about people who have an opinion about you which affects the way they treat you. You do know people have talked behind your back and have this certain perception of you. Your friends and ex boyfriends most likely had to defend you when you came up in conversations. Your girlfriend's/platonicfriend is a total overacheiver. She's probably boring, stuck up and think she's better than everyone else cause she think she does so well. I know about this because these things happen to me when I bring up someone like that in a conversation.

Guess not, but why did she continue doing it anyway? It's not like she would have been whipped or sent to jail for calling it quits. I think it's good that parents try to get their kids involved in as many things as possible so they can find something they truly like or are good at. (I think we've talked about this in another thread too) And it's even better that parents push their kids to succeed. Example - I hated swimming, but my parents forced me to go for swimming classes and took me to the club pool three times a week and a year or so later I finally decided I kind of liked swimming.

Sometimes it just takes a while.

I don't see it that way. I see it as parents manipulating their kids into liking something. You can say their doing it for the good of their children but that doesn't change the fact that their basically manipulating them into liking something.

I like Aikido and stuff. Not because my parents introduced me to it or anything but because I really enjoy it. That reminds me. My old Aikido teacher taught his son since he was 5. When he was a teenager he decided to quit. It's not a parents job to teach their kids to like something. However I do like video games because my mother introduced me to Super Mario Bros when I was 5.

I also meant what I said about being great. One of my old doctors I had a long time ago is famous throughout the state of California. He's famous because he loves his job devotes himself to nothing else. Most doctors and lawyers aren't like him and that's just sad. A while ago I talked to this girl who just graduated from high school. She said she wanted to be a peditrician. I got her to admit that she didn't like kids or want to be a peditrician it was all her mother's idea.

Its a thin line between forcing and encouraging.

I encourage my kids to be the best they can be.. Thats not to say I want them to be better than everyone else.

I dont think its ok to make a kid do something they absolutely dont want to do.. but on the other hand.. alot of kids are lazy and inactive, they need a little push.

Certainly I feel pushing to the point of physical harm or death is abuse! I suppose a good parent knows when enough is enough.

Thinking on the future of the childrens maybe. But, how do you noticed that? My parents send me to the better schools, to learn tae-kwon do, soccer, classic dance and another activities. And always said "You need to be better than your friends in everything". But this words don't have efect on me. This situation isn't new, but this "motivation" are faster on the age of the childs. Have you seen a girl dressed like an adult woman? I don't remember seen that situation when i was 8 or 9. But now i see girls of 10 (more or less) dressed like an adult woman. Maybe this is the situation you are asking for.