Thread: Tough Love

Tough love? What do you mean with that? Do you mean strong love or sad, unhappy love?
If you're talking about love that brings many tears then I'm the one to ask... I haven't had no happpy relationship... everything has ended so sad... And now again... I'm just a really lucky person I guess.
If you're talking about strong love, that gets through everything then again i might now what it is just because I love like hell and I forgive too easily and get into deeper trouble because of it...

Well to I was thinking along the lines of like say your doing drugs and your parents send you to a rehab center to get you back to normal. Something like that. They love yes but they do things you may not like for the better. Thats what I always though it was.

Tough love can be two things: physically tough with someone you love or verbally so.
In the first instance that can be the case between a parent in child in disciplinary situations. They still love their child its just that the child needs to be reprimanded. Although this type of love is not to be confused with abuse which is hurtful and unloving. The physical aspect of tough love can apply to adults if their partner agrees to it and its done in a safe manner.
Verbally this love can be expressed by telling someone what they don't want to hear but evidently need to hear. This is done with true friends and family members who are close. But rarely in the case of lovers who often try to keep each other appeased. Its almost like dumping cold water on that person to wake them up. But its because you care about that person's wellfare and happiness not simply to be mean.
Thats tough love in my book.

Yeah wow you took the words right out of my mouth lol. I could have said it better.
Yeah and I totally agree that its mostly with true friends and family but I also think you could be given tough love from a complete stranger.

Yes, I've recieved touch love with my parents, most especially my mom. She's very strict, but I know that the reason she is [strict] is because she loves me, though, at times, she can REALLY be strict, as in, almost giving me no freedom at all.

.......well, there's a problem...

You see... tough love may be sending you to a rehab with a drug problem, but I don't consider that tough at all. If you've got a problem, you've seriously gotta' deal with it, especially if your life's at risk. And also, as heartless as this sounds, if you seriously don't care about your life, end it now and stop bickering... it's really annoying.

Some things aren't so much better for you, as they are what you deserve.
Getting beaten while knowing your parents are doing this for you, can go two ways..
One is they know what's better for you.
Two is they think they know what's better for you.

As for me? I don't like tough love.
Not only is it too complicated for people to understand on BOTH ends, but it's beyond annoying when they tell their stories...

The parents/lover/whatever think doing this for the other is better for them, while all the child/lover/whatever really wanted was some other thing.

I'll leave a fill-in-the-blank for whoever:
_________ made me ________, when all I really wanted/needed was ________.

-_-ll Sometimes people are just plain selfish and self-destructive when they're "defied" with tough love, they become completely irrational...

How many times have you heard (from yourself and/or others) the phrase "Just leave me alone!" or anything close to it?

Well... I can get into psychological states and mention the reasons why teenagers USED TO have the RIGHT to live on their own... but I'm not, and I'm just going to stick to:
Grow up, everyone has to put up with a parent-type that probably doesn't understand them... but think this: You probably are the one who doesn't understand yourself.


And as for the parental types? Well, I can go on and on about how parents have THE RIGHT to make judgements upon their children because THEY'RE HUMAN TOO and WENT THROUGH EVERYTHING AND MORE than their children did, but again, I'm just going to stick to this:
Stop thinking about it from your perspective and think about it from their's! Think about this: What made you or other people think you/they were better and knew better than your/their parents when you were young?

Gosh, at least meet each other halfway before you start bringing all hell down upon you and start with your version of "TOUGH LOVE"...

Other than that, tough love is good.
...yep, very healthy.

This discussion has been moved here:

The Offical AO Love Thread