Thread: Would you help someone who refuses to help themselves?

I'm trying to help someone like this. He's become so obbessed with a girl that he is pretty much ignoring his friends and not caring about anything. Its not a good kind of obession and he's really not letting go even though the relationship is already over. He rally needs to wake up or else he'll lose all of his friends.

sure I would!! coz someone who doesnt want to be helpped this person has defenily a serious desorder!! it means he/she may need help no metter what!!

Originally Posted by Arukih

sure I would!! coz someone doesnt want to be helpped this person has defenily a serious desorder!! it means he/she may need help no mette what!!

Naw, I think that people who refuse to help themselves are either weak, or just really childish. I mean, how can a grown person, or even a person in thier late teens, still need someone to hold thier hand every time they need something. If you can't support yourself when you're grown, there's something wrong.

I personally think that those kind of people are scared to take the big steps in life on thier own, which makes them incapable of helping themselves, constantly sucking resources out of others in hopes that they won't have to do it thierself.

I definitely believe in empowering people to help themselves so yes, in a sense I would. Although I wouldnt go so far as to fund someones habit.

In serious cases if its someone that I care about I would probably make an effort to get them some professional help. Intervening with a loved ones drug addiction can be a worthy cause. But if we are just talking about chain smokers, lazy people, and love sick teens than this topic is pointless.

edit: normally I wouldnt be such a douche but thierself is not a word. themselves would work.

Originally Posted by atomik_sprout

We've all been there and I'm sure we all have at least one of these kinds of friends. Those people who constantly ask for help, but REFUSE to help themselves. My brother is one of those cases. He's a smoker, but can never support his own habit. Always asks for money, always expects free stuff and he expects you to hold his hand because he won't be a "big boy" and do things for himself.

What do you do when you're tired of helping those who can't/won't help themselves? I personally tell them what's what! I work my ass off, and I never get to reap what I sow, due to the fact that people like my brother are always asking for "help". So, eventually, I get fed up and give them the truth, "You're a tick and you need to start helping yourself, because I'm through with ya!!"

How about you? Let's discuss!

In that situation I would say I wouldn't help out as much as they would want to. They need to learn how to fend for themselves without having someone to rely on. It may seem like a mean thing to do but in situations like those the person needs to realise that in life nothing like money is completely free. You cannot be dependent all of your life and it won't be worth anything.

I used to depend on my parents a little too much and it wasn't till I got into University where I learnt the true value of being independent. Like for every meal I cooked, I felt pleased with myself because I paid for it with my own money and prepared it all myself. It felt more like an achievement when I first did it.

Strange how i see myself as the jerk. I wouldn't help the person, period. I wouldn't even help out someone who COULD support themselves and get out of the house on a regular basis. The only time i would help is if they are in serious need of it; like just losing a job, i would give help between jobs. I refuse to give out the help if i'm not 100% certain that they will fend for themselves in the near future or are showing signs of getting themselves out of the rut.

Originally Posted by Sazzy

In that situation I would say I wouldn't help out as much as they would want to. They need to learn how to fend for themselves without having someone to rely on. It may seem like a mean thing to do but in situations like those the person needs to realise that in life nothing like money is completely free. You cannot be dependent all of your life and it won't be worth anything.

Yeah, it's like how some parents teach thier kids to swim--just shove 'em in the lake! They'll learn to swim eventually, LOL.

Originally Posted by zyta

Strange how i see myself as the jerk. I wouldn't help the person, period. I wouldn't even help out someone who COULD support themselves and get out of the house on a regular basis. The only time i would help is if they are in serious need of it; like just losing a job, i would give help between jobs. I refuse to give out the help if i'm not 100% certain that they will fend for themselves in the near future or are showing signs of getting themselves out of the rut.

I hear ya there! I can't stand trying to help people, only to find out that they have no intention on helping themselves. I'm not gonna walk people through thier lives, when mine is hard enough to walk on my own.

If you can't help yourself, then who will when there's nobody around? If you can't find the means to support your own recreational habits, then why are you doing them in the first place. If you get fired and just sit around--no job hunting involved--who's gonna offer you a job when you haven't even applied? Who will pay your rent? I'm not gonna, that's for damn sure!