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Thread: Would you help someone who refuses to help themselves?

  1. #25
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    Re: Would you help someone who refuses to help themselves?

    Quote Originally Posted by atomik_sprout View Post
    We've all been there and I'm sure we all have at least one of these kinds of friends. Those people who constantly ask for help, but REFUSE to help themselves. My brother is one of those cases. He's a smoker, but can never support his own habit. Always asks for money, always expects free stuff and he expects you to hold his hand because he won't be a "big boy" and do things for himself.

    What do you do when you're tired of helping those who can't/won't help themselves? I personally tell them what's what! I work my ass off, and I never get to reap what I sow, due to the fact that people like my brother are always asking for "help". So, eventually, I get fed up and give them the truth, "You're a tick and you need to start helping yourself, because I'm through with ya!!"

    How about you? Let's discuss!
    This is something that I often run into… Friends and family wanting help but never doing anything to help themselves.

    Ex: My brother Kevin turned 18 recently and lived in our old house. All he had to do was not move anyone in, not throw parties, take care of the house and pay the bills. However, within a week of moving to Lindsborg, my current residence, he had thrown a party and moved someone in. So he got told that he had to move out by the first of the year. Last weekend he moved out after my dad’s dad funeral. The bills weren’t paid (some for two months), our screen door is gone, we have a hole in the wall where he supposedly fell, my closet door is torn all to hell, they took everything they could when they left, and broke frames and mirrors. Now, his girlfriend has a smoking problem and he has a LOT of problems with his car. He’s always going to my grandmother asking for money to get this, to get that, to do this. She gives it to him thinking that’s what he’s going to use it on... Boy is she wrong! We get there Friday afternoon and find Mcdonalds and subway, junk food and a whole bunch of other trash everywhere. He doesn’t have a job and she’s to lazy to get one. He’s not even looking so guess what our wallets are slammed shut.

    Now personally I can see why he’s doing this… He’s always been spoiled and got what he wanted from his gramps (I say his because she doesn’t give a rats butt about me) so he thinks that he’ll continue to get it but he won’t, not any more. I help anyone I can but when your not even making an effort to straighten out your life, I’m sorry but there’s no one who can help you, you have to learn that you can’t do things on your own but you can’t be dependent on other people completely like that.
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  2. #26
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    Re: Would you help someone who refuses to help themselves?

    theres always people like that. i consider myself the therapist of my group of friends.

    a couple of them always seem to have love problems (due to the fact we're all in our alte teens i try to help as best as i can, because we're all just deluding ourselves anway). Anywho one girl had troubles with her boy. sounds simple right? break up with him cause he's being an asshole and not respecting you,. but no. she loved him and thought he would change, like that ever happens. she let her life become miserable after all this, and the only explanation i could give is "its not because you cant, its because you wont."

    people who wont take care of themselves before having us do it for them is something i will not tolerate.
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  3. #27
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    Re: Would you help someone who refuses to help themselves?

    some *tough love* is whats needed i was taught by my dad that if
    i cant helpmyselfi would just drown in life and he proved this by throwing
    me in a swiming pool when i couldnt swim yes i had mom there just incase
    but it was allme i keptmyown head up and leanred how to swim .

    not saying thats what is needed here but peope like that need to be
    thrown into some sort of harsh enviroment to open there eyes
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    Isolate and save you from yourself

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    Re: Would you help someone who refuses to help themselves?

    my brother is the perfect example, and he's pretty hard to not give up on. He is a complete waste of space from time to time, but sometimes he goes out to look for work, but if he doesn't find any he comes home looking like he lost his best friend and practically goes into some kind of "i lost my best friend" coma. he won't talk and i help him until he pisses me off and i give up. then he does it all over again. so, anyway, i would only help if i know that they would continue with their life when i stop. but i think i brother is a lost cause/hard worker. (<-- kinda confusing but it's the truth)

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    Re: Would you help someone who refuses to help themselves?

    Well, I would try and help them I guess at first, to see if maybe I can help them decide to try harder and help themselves. But, when I see there is no effect... whatever... get through on your own... I give up on them; maybe that will make them a bit sorry too... A bit of shame they feel could just do the thing...

    I've met such people before, ussually guys who take no notice of their studies a d prefer just to part around. I just hate it so much already, by now I've strated to totaly ignore their problems and go straightly to the: "Shame on you!!!!" Part. Nothing else works on them, you can help them study as much as you wish they won't learn a thing from it and go back to "F" in a few days...

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    Re: Would you help someone who refuses to help themselves?

    NO!

    Sorry but its not worth my time. If someone can't see with there own eyes somethings wrong, then they can't yet except the new change, and will revert back to there own old ways.
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    Re: Would you help someone who refuses to help themselves?

    I had some one that would help themselves but was too afraid to, I'm riding home and I'm a good 10 mins away (motorcycle) and I see a little girl on the side of the road with a sign saying need ride.... this girl was at least 15 just by sight mind you. I pulled over and offered a ride and right when my headlights hit her face I reconized her, now I still have my helmet on so she can only see my eyes anyway she gets on and we start driven. Now this is when it get weired, I pull up to my place cut the engin and the helmets off, she gets one look at me a says "Oh God!". I get her inside and the yelling begins not only from me tho but everyone in the house that knows her (I live on my own with room mates). everyone knows the law about harbering run a aways right, well if not: if the person in question is pernounced missing and a police report is put out then anyone harbering them is either fined or put in jail depending, so I begin calling her father and right when I tell her that she burst into tears and tells me what happened, a story you heard a million times but still can't ignore. After the story I call a cop I knew to run up to my place and get the story on paper, but she wouldn't tell to anything to get her father put in jail. To this day she still won't tell anyone else what happened, I got a judge to look into in for me and he said that if she wanted she could live with me. She still is living with me, now I have no problem with it but, her dad still keeps trying to come over and fix everything and it's starting to get anoying, either he leave peacefully or I got to tout him out the front door like a drunk... I NEED HER TO GET SOME BALLS figuretively speaking of course that would make my xmas a little better this year and I could start convincing her to get a job and stop using her savings to buy things and trying to give me money it hurts me inside not to take it but I got a code ya know... I need a coffie a real good one
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  8. #32
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    Re: Would you help someone who refuses to help themselves?

    I try to help those who seem to not care, and not want to help themselves, but its really hard. Some people are way too stubborn to realize the truth and the logic behide others words. At some point those who dont help themselves will not make it even with the help of others

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