Thread: Backstabbing? What do you think?

First off I'd like to say you made the right choice about not installing the hack program thingy. That's a huge invasion of privacy and the admins shouldn't be digging into other peoples privacy like that. ( Of course everyone has covered this heh. =P) I guess I should say I agree with the general decisions of what people said.

An now I've a question involving an incident that's a lot different and may not have been backstabbing. But here goes. (Figured this was the place to ask since it's a thread on backstabbing.)

My supposed 'best' friend lives here with my family. He tends to talk me about all his problems to which I listen and give whatever advice I can. But one night when I was trying to get to sleep ( He must have thought I was asleep.) He started talking to my brother which is fine. But I over heard him saying how he thought I was worthless, that if he were me he'd kill himself and flatly said I'd never make anything of myself in life despite plans made to get out on my own. ( He stated that I'd fail at the plans I've got made as well.)

Well my question is, Any ideas what I should do about it? I'm really passive RL so I avoid most disputes. He still talks to me about his problems and has no idea I know this. I can barely deal with being around him but as I mentioned he lives here and still talks to me like I'm his 'best' friend. Up till now I've just played it off like nothing happened.

for the guy who didn't want to invade people's privacy...
good for you coz you did the right thing. i mean those people you were working with were bullies. they don't want to work with people who will go against their wishes. but i dont think its backstabbing because they didnt try to degrade you or something behind your back. they just didn't need someone who has their own opinion about things. and about getting your revenge, working on another site which is way lots cooler than their site is a good one. and invite other people on your previous site to your new "home". prove to them you're a real talented guy and that they made a wrong decision to drop you just like that.

and for the guy who has a backstabber for a friend...
i know how it must feel to have a "friend" say those things behind your back and so maybe its time for you two to part company. if you dont like confrontations, put on a cold shoulder act. pretend you're always busy and stuff and maybe he'll get the drift. i think it would be loads better for you if you become true to yourself that you're mad at your friend and that he should at least know it.

Originally Posted by angelan

e-mail to the regulars.....the people who are around the most. if they know who you are and know what position they'll believe you. Even if they don't they'll be suspicious. That's enough i think. Show them proof if you have =)

I agree with angelan. It's always a shame to hear that people abuse power like that.

As for backstabbers, I live in L.A. where they run rampant. But it's worse when they are people you actually consider your peers/friends.

I think you did the right thing in not raiding people's privacy.

I agree with everyone else, you did the right thing by not installing the hack. They were using you for your abilities and not for you.

If you care that much for the site you should fight for it, but nothing will probably come of it. If you can make your own site thats better than that one, I say go for and piss on them.

Good luck with whatever choice you decide to make.

Originally Posted by Delerium

Backstabbing is for losers and anyone who betrays your trust should be left alone. Backstabbers are the worst kind of people because it makes them liars and cheaters. People like that deserve nothing more than to be ignored and forgotten.
I've had to go through a trial where someone that meant alot to me backstabbed me and its not easy. Its hard to just forget and move on, but its for the best because once the trust is broken then so is the relationship.

I feel ya there.

To play the devil's advocate, I heartily approve of backstabbing. It is a great way to get ahead. If you ever want to really succeed in life, you have to be brutal, even if it means ambushing your friends, beating them to death and then throwing their respective bodies into the river.

Also, if you get off a successful backstab, you deal triple damage! How awesome is that?

If you ever want to really succeed in life, you have to be brutal, even if it means ambushing your friends, beating them to death and then throwing their respective bodies into the river

Good job I know a few people who are successful without resorting to that, or that would be fairly depressing.

It only works because it only takes one person to screw it all up, and may karma bit them on the ass!

Hon, if I were you I would pm the members and email them. I'd say put it on the message board but I suppose it is easily erased. I don't think I'd care too much if they knew what I was trying to do, I think I would want them to know.

I'm really passive RL so I avoid most disputes

Ok, I'm not that old but I have learned people work out very quickly if they think you are a push over or not. Because I am passive, people have always used me, they will make me feel guilty for arguments they caused because they know that I would rather appologise if it was my fault or not to get things back to normal.

The only person who will suffer with a passive attitude is you. Unfortunatly because of the nature of betrayal (and the numbers of) that I have suffered it has made me somewhat...bitter. Well, if someone crossed me I would not be afraid to make sure they get the same treatment.

I'm sure you wouldn't do this, but I would just wait untill you capture evidence. For example if he uses your computer use keylogging software to catch something he is writing against you, or something of the sort. Confront him with it, tell him he's a worthless pile of **** and throw him out! Ahh, I know it's easier said than done since he *was* your friend but you reap what you sow and it will make people think twice about crossing you.

Sometimes you are left with no option but to confront things, and it's best to get it over and done with so you can take a deep breath and move on!