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Thread: Childfreeness

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    Otaku Siren may be famous one day Siren may be famous one day Siren's Avatar
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    Childfreeness

    I've been really getting into my lifestyle choice of being childfree.

    First, for those who don't know, "childfree" should not be confused with "childless". Childless suggests you actually want children in the future. Childfree indicates that you do not want children - ever.

    Now, most people cannot fathom why someone would not want a child. I could go on for a very long time about why I don't want one.

    My main reason: I don't get along well with children. Of any age. Up until you're able to support yourself, I probably can't stand you, at least to some degree. And I have absolutely no idea how to act around younger children.

    The whole point of throwing this out into the open is to gather people's opinions. Are you childfree yourself? Are you not childfree but can support the idea of someone being that way? Or do you think the idea is unfathomable and that it's a woman's birthright to have children?
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    AO Angel ^^ angelan may be famous one day angelan may be famous one day angelan's Avatar
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    Re: Childfreeness

    hrm...good topic.

    Personally I hope to have children and don't 100% agree with the notion of being childfree.

    I understand if people don't want to have kids because they think they're not good parents or don't have the financial backing to support a child. But to some extent, I don't agree with the notion of having to abort a child because a couple wants to be childfree.

    If the child was conceived, then it becomes the parents responsibility to carry it and take care of it as they can. If this means foster care, or passing it to relatives...then so be it, but once conceived, I personally think that the child should be given a chance to survive. (this is sounding anti-abortionist so i'm gonna stop that there rather than side track this discussion).

    Otherwise, if you have legit enough reasons not to have a kid....then go ahead, use contraceptives, or whatever you want, it's ultimately your choice. Personally I love kids and would love to have one, or some. But I also think that parenthood isn't something that you KNOW you're not fit for...until you have a kid of your own. Of course, if you don't want to risk it...then again...that's totally your own choice. I'm not out to say that, every woman was put on earth to have kids....cuz well, that's just simply not true.

    You see kids in foster homes having a hard time, or kids born into broken families with dead beat parents or little "brats" whom you shake your head and wonder what the parents teach them (IF they teach them anything useful at all). True, but these are all "what if"s...in the end...you just WON'T know until the time comes. Unfit parents are one thing, not giving kids a chance is another. Bad parents doesn't mean 100% bad kids...even if the odds are against it, who can say with absolute certainty that any kid born at any second will turn out good...or bad?

    I can't say I enjoy all kids...some can be quite..."taxing" at time to say the least....but yeah, that's just my view point of it all. Last point, no parent is the perfect parent...no kid is the perfect kid...that's not the point of parenthood...just keep that in mind
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    Newbie Stormraven may be famous one day Stormraven may be famous one day
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    Re: Childfreeness

    I'd have to agree that once a child is concieved it has a right to live, however that is worked out. But childfree?

    If someone truly doesn't want a kid, chances are they wouldn't be a good parent anyway, not because they're a bad person, but because they would end up resenting the child, the loss of freedoms, etc, etc. Kids aren't stupid, they pick up vibes, and that would be a horrible way to grow up, knowing your parents didn't want you.

    I would put myself in the 'childless' catagory, because while the thought of having kids is a little scary, I don't know what life will bring.

    Is having children a woman's birthright? Yes. It's hard to say otherwise when I'm staring at the biology. Is it a birthright she can and sometimes should choose to decline? Also yes. Because the first step in the responsiblities of parenthood is choosing whether to be a parent at all.

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    Re: Childfreeness

    As a guy I would understand why a woman would want to be childfree, but it would be harder for a man to say why except for losing freedom (which already happened when one gets married ). Anyways, as of right now I am childless cuz I am only twenty, and I am not a big fan of kids and babies. I doubt that I'll be childfree, and in yea if I get married hey no problem having kids if the lady has no problem.

    Besides the headaches they give you, as you get older they give you a sense of accomplishment if they turned out right, and something to look forward to everyday.

    Oh man this thread reminds me of this video of a woman giving birth in Health Ed....awwwyuck
    Last edited by Legend; Jun 24, 2005 at 11:02 AM.

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    Mage of Eternity Joe Mage is making a name for themselves Joe Mage is making a name for themselves Joe Mage's Avatar
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    Re: Childfreeness

    I cannot have children, so the issue of childfreedom is moot for me. I feel that you should have the freedom to live within your means. If you don't want children in your life, then fine. Yet there are people out there who can't have children, like me, who want them. They don' have such a choice.

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    Otaku Siren may be famous one day Siren may be famous one day Siren's Avatar
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    Re: Childfreeness

    Quote Originally Posted by angelan
    hrm...good topic.

    Personally I hope to have children and don't 100% agree with the notion of being childfree.

    I understand if people don't want to have kids because they think they're not good parents or don't have the financial backing to support a child. But to some extent, I don't agree with the notion of having to abort a child because a couple wants to be childfree.

    If the child was conceived, then it becomes the parents responsibility to carry it and take care of it as they can. If this means foster care, or passing it to relatives...then so be it, but once conceived, I personally think that the child should be given a chance to survive. (this is sounding anti-abortionist so i'm gonna stop that there rather than side track this discussion).

    Otherwise, if you have legit enough reasons not to have a kid....then go ahead, use contraceptives, or whatever you want, it's ultimately your choice. Personally I love kids and would love to have one, or some. But I also think that parenthood isn't something that you KNOW you're not fit for...until you have a kid of your own. Of course, if you don't want to risk it...then again...that's totally your own choice. I'm not out to say that, every woman was put on earth to have kids....cuz well, that's just simply not true.

    You see kids in foster homes having a hard time, or kids born into broken families with dead beat parents or little "brats" whom you shake your head and wonder what the parents teach them (IF they teach them anything useful at all). True, but these are all "what if"s...in the end...you just WON'T know until the time comes. Unfit parents are one thing, not giving kids a chance is another. Bad parents doesn't mean 100% bad kids...even if the odds are against it, who can say with absolute certainty that any kid born at any second will turn out good...or bad?

    I can't say I enjoy all kids...some can be quite..."taxing" at time to say the least....but yeah, that's just my view point of it all. Last point, no parent is the perfect parent...no kid is the perfect kid...that's not the point of parenthood...just keep that in mind
    I really liked much of what you had to say. You put forth your opinion and put some thought into it. In fact, all of those who replied did, and I appreciate that.

    I'd like to rebut your "if the child was conceived, then it becomes the parents responsibility to carry it and take care of it as they can" opinion. Now, I believe pretty much the same thing. If someone absolutely does not want a child but is irresponsible enough to not practice safe sex to the utmost care, yes, they should live with the consequence and not abort it. I don't believe in abortion as a form of birth control. However, what if all precautions were made, and by some bad stroke of luck, a child was conceived? Even worse, what if all precautions were taken because the woman knew that if she got pregnant, it would be life-threatening on her part? What I'm trying to say is what if carrying the child to term was life-threatening to the woman who accidentally got pregnant even if she took every possible precaution? In this case, what is more important? The mother's life, or the life of a child that hasn't even developed enough to be considered a child? It's all morals and ethics, and everyone has a different opinion.

    As to all the children in foster homes and adoption clinics.... I don't see why it's such a big deal to have biological children when there are SO MANY children that need homes. To say you wouldn't love it as much or it's just not the same... That's a selfish way to think, wouldn't you say? You're still looking after this child, and it still needs to be loved and looked after... just because it doesn't have your genes shouldn't make a difference. Wouldn't taking in a needy child be more rewarding than just popping out your own? This way you're doing a couple of good things: taking in a child, not contributing to the already over-populated world, etc.

    All of my reasons for staying childfree are not selfish ones. Some are actually beneficial to the world and its economy. Sure, I don't want children because I feel that I wouldn't be able to love one the way it should be loved, or because I want my freedom to do what I please in life, but there's also the fact that with each child born, more trees are cut down, more desert is formed, food supplies grow even smaller. The world cannot simply withstand the growing population. And you know what they say, one person can make a difference...
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    Re: Childfreeness

    I'll just add one question, don't you believe your age might have some importance in this? That perhaps (note the conditional) people your age (like me) may deal in absolutes which will not remain our entire lives, although it seems like they will?

    On my personal part, I'm only 19, and a Male, but I'd love to find the love of my life, and have children. Seeing children smiling, giggling and having fun just makes me smile to no end, and having one that would call me daddy and that would smile because of the love I give to him/her, that's priceless.

    I understand the adoption need, but I believe somehow one child of your own is different. Not exactly for the reason you put, but because if he/she/they are born within a couple, it helps ciment the couple, it helps grow a clear relationship. I have also heard stories of adopted kids (or procreated kids) who, after the couple divorced or separated were not recognised by any of the parents and left forgotten, or forgotten by only one, or anything of the sort, which is just terrible enough.

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    Otaku Siren may be famous one day Siren may be famous one day Siren's Avatar
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    Re: Childfreeness

    Quote Originally Posted by Vaines
    I understand the adoption need, but I believe somehow one child of your own is different. Not exactly for the reason you put, but because if he/she/they are born within a couple, it helps ciment the couple, it helps grow a clear relationship.
    While yes, sometimes it does cement the couple, sometimes it breaks them apart, too.

    However, I'm not all cynic and pessimism. If a couple agrees to having a child and know they can support it both emotionally and financially, have at it. It's just nowadays you see too many people having children to either force a straying significant other to stay, or to get money from the government. There are less people who sincerely want a child and more who just want a child for the sole sake of breeding. There are so many parents who lack parenting skills. Look at all the children who can't behave in public or who are downright disrespectful, not only to others but themselves?

    In response to the "absolutes" thing, it would be an absolute if I up and decided out of nowhere. I've pretty much made this decision for years now. And I know I'm only 18, and that anything could happen, but any relationship I'll get in that could result in a long-term thing, they'll know early enough about my choice and can either live with that or move on out. The only children I want to have are four-legged, furry and say "meow".
    "I go online sometimes, but everyone's spelling is really bad... It's depressing." ~Tara from BtVS

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