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Thread: Childfreeness

  1. #9
    Lady Barronmore Arrianna has become well known Arrianna has become well known Arrianna has become well known Arrianna's Avatar
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    Re: Childfreeness

    Quote Originally Posted by Siren
    Now, most people cannot fathom why someone would not want a child. I could go on for a very long time about why I don't want one.

    My main reason: I don't get along well with children. Of any age. Up until you're able to support yourself, I probably can't stand you, at least to some degree. And I have absolutely no idea how to act around younger children.
    When I was your age I would have agreed with you completely. I simply could not image me as a parent at all. I didn't understand children or child rearing at all. A couple of things changed though.

    One is I meet a man I thought would be a wonderful father who loves children.

    Another is that what everyone told me turned out to be true; it is totally different when they're your children instead of someone elses. I didn't believe it. Boy was I wrong.

    Lastly is something my mother taught me. She said that you're not raising children you're raising future adults. A different mind set that can make all the difference in how you treat your children.

    So basically I totally understand where you're comming from. Just don't be surprised if as you get older you change your mind. I did.


    PS. I wasn't the only one either. I had a friend who felt that way to such a degree she talked about becoming a Nun, and she wasn't even Catholic!

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  2. #10
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    Re: Childfreeness

    Quote Originally Posted by angelan
    hrm...good topic.

    Personally I hope to have children and don't 100% agree with the notion of being childfree.

    I understand if people don't want to have kids because they think they're not good parents or don't have the financial backing to support a child. But to some extent, I don't agree with the notion of having to abort a child because a couple wants to be childfree.

    If the child was conceived, then it becomes the parents responsibility to carry it and take care of it as they can. If this means foster care, or passing it to relatives...then so be it, but once conceived, I personally think that the child should be given a chance to survive. (this is sounding anti-abortionist so i'm gonna stop that there rather than side track this discussion).

    Otherwise, if you have legit enough reasons not to have a kid....then go ahead, use contraceptives, or whatever you want, it's ultimately your choice. Personally I love kids and would love to have one, or some. But I also think that parenthood isn't something that you KNOW you're not fit for...until you have a kid of your own. Of course, if you don't want to risk it...then again...that's totally your own choice. I'm not out to say that, every woman was put on earth to have kids....cuz well, that's just simply not true.

    You see kids in foster homes having a hard time, or kids born into broken families with dead beat parents or little "brats" whom you shake your head and wonder what the parents teach them (IF they teach them anything useful at all). True, but these are all "what if"s...in the end...you just WON'T know until the time comes. Unfit parents are one thing, not giving kids a chance is another. Bad parents doesn't mean 100% bad kids...even if the odds are against it, who can say with absolute certainty that any kid born at any second will turn out good...or bad?

    I can't say I enjoy all kids...some can be quite..."taxing" at time to say the least....but yeah, that's just my view point of it all. Last point, no parent is the perfect parent...no kid is the perfect kid...that's not the point of parenthood...just keep that in mind
    I would have to agree on this. I mean I have a little sis that is 12. I don't get along with her one bit but I still would like to have kids. when you think about it. (if you babysit and this is the reason you don't want kids) Taking care of someone else's kid or watching them. or hanging out with younger people then your self makes you feel awcard I can understand that. But having your own kid is something you wanted. its yours. you can't help how some kids where brought up. but with your kids, you can teach them what you want them to learn from you. an out of control kid is a disaster waiting to happen.

    for most people its little boys that are the terror or the problem in a family. a little girl (if she is brought up right) can be an angel. it may take some hard work to disaplen a child but its how it goes..

    I have always thought people that don't want to have kids are using the easy way out and just not wanting to do the hard work of raising a child. I may not get along with my little sister but raising your own kid can have its perks I have heard.

  3. #11
    Legendary Otaku Snake Champion, Zelda Champion, Crazy Koala Champion, Minigolf Champion, Concentrate Champion, Guess 5 Champion, Batting Champ Champion, Beach Ball Control Champion, Bookworm Champion, Wacky Word Wiz Champion, Fight Fight 3 Champion, Spinner's Luck Champion, Traffic Jam Champion, Yeti Pengu Throw Champion Legend is making a name for themselves Legend is making a name for themselves Legend is making a name for themselves Legend's Avatar
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    Re: Childfreeness

    Quote Originally Posted by Siren
    However, I'm not all cynic and pessimism. If a couple agrees to having a child and know they can support it both emotionally and financially, have at it. It's just nowadays you see too many people having children to either force a straying significant other to stay, or to get money from the government. There are less people who sincerely want a child and more who just want a child for the sole sake of breeding. There are so many parents who lack parenting skills. Look at all the children who can't behave in public or who are downright disrespectful, not only to others but themselves?
    That's true, but that's because most people are either not mature enough or simply not ready even though they thought they were. Too bad huh? Like this ad I saw once riding on the bus it said "Too bad kids didn't come with an instruction booklet..." haha that's true. But yes, having a kid can be consider a ball and chain but it can also be a sign to others from you and your other half that you guys have moved beyond love based on flesh and emotion, and more of agape (wonder if i used that right). One last thing is having a kid is better than a cat, because cat though have nine lives they still don't last as long as humans. Besides if your pet runs out and gets pregnant or impregnate other neighbors' pets, how is that different from your kid doing something bad right??

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  4. #12
    Strange Times Dark. is making a name for themselves Dark. is making a name for themselves Dark.'s Avatar
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    Re: Childfreeness

    I would want kids. I can't stand some of the kids I've come across before, but that's not going to discouraging me from having my own. I can definately see where they would be a pain in the butt at an early age, but once they get older and wiser (hopefully) they would be nice to watch grow into an adult.

  5. #13
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    Re: Childfreeness

    I would have kids only two though (money). I would bring my kids up with discpline but with a sense of freedom and optimistic veiws? Like the kids here by my house they are all nuts they throw beat anything else, kids need to bringed up with discpline i think. Whatching them grow up would be nice, nowing that someday they will also be succesful.

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  6. #14
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    Re: Childfreeness

    Yeah, I think I could only stand two kids too. But not just one, because in case he/she was a socialphobic or something, they could at least relate with a sibling.

  7. #15
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    Re: Childfreeness

    Yeah, becuase most single childs are a lot more lonesom becuase theynobody to relaxand play with when they're with the family.

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  8. #16
    Otaku Siren may be famous one day Siren may be famous one day Siren's Avatar
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    Re: Childfreeness

    Quote Originally Posted by pyoro-pyoro
    One last thing is having a kid is better than a cat, because cat though have nine lives they still don't last as long as humans. Besides if your pet runs out and gets pregnant or impregnate other neighbors' pets, how is that different from your kid doing something bad right??
    That's why my cats are a) indoor and b) spayed/neutered. Unfortunately, kids cannot be either.

    Also, that's another reason I don't want kids - they last longer than cats. Yay for a lifelong commitment. I have neither the patience nor the desire.

    I'm pretty sure I have no maternal instinct anyway. If I see a kid crying, I don't feel the need to comfort it, I feel more like, "omg, what am I supposed to do? o_o Make it stop." Cannot stand the sound of a squalling child. =/

    I don't like how having children is made to be the sole thing you need to do to make you're life meaningful. There are many other things that you can do to feel as if you're accomplished something with your life. Child-rearing is not for everyone, and I am dead-set in my feelings that it's not for me. That whole "it's different when it's your own" thing... Sure, maybe it is for some people. But I'd rather not make the mistake in trying to find out and realizing it's not for me. There's a saying in the community of the childfree and it goes a little like this: "I'd rather regret not having children than regret having them."
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