divorcing

Now I know what most think, why do people divorce? Its simple, they don't love each other or can't stand one another. Well that all fine and dandy, but what if they have a child? Sometimes parents stay with each other to make sure the child has a "normal" family, but the two of them fighting and bickering all the time can have lasting effects. Other times, the parents get divorced and each try to take the child away from the other due to "unworthy parenting skills." I want to know, who decides that childs fate when each parent wants them? Why is it that the child has no say in the matter - I'll tell you why, because adults don't listen to children and children don't often grasp the concept of an ended love. My question for all of you is, what do you think should be the case when a child is given a choice, but the parents disrespect it? If you have anything to say about divorces (whether it be from personal experience or not) enlighten me as to what's going on in this world

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Originally Posted by Zero Cool

Now I know what most think, why do people divorce? Its simple, they don't love each other or can't stand one another. Well that all fine and dandy, but what if they have a child? Sometimes parents stay with each other to make sure the child has a "normal" family, but the two of them fighting and bickering all the time can have lasting effects. Other times, the parents get divorced and each try to take the child away from the other due to "unworthy parenting skills." I want to know, who decides that childs fate when each parent wants them? Why is it that the child has no say in the matter - I'll tell you why, because adults don't listen to children and children don't often grasp the concept of an ended love. My question for all of you is, what do you think should be the case when a child is given a choice, but the parents disrespect it? If you have anything to say about divorces (whether it be from personal experience or not) enlighten me as to what's going on in this world

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When my mother and father divorced, I was only two. I can only remember happy moments, instead of sad. However there was no question of who the child went to, my mother.

Just a few months back, my step-dad and mother divorced. I do believe my mother realised it was a failed marriage when he cheated on her for the third time. It just took a few more times of infidelities and rantings before she could stop the notion that he was a good father.

I believe the mother has the right to decide the child's fate. Unless the mother is incapable of making a logical decidion in the best interest of the child, she should not be charged with the protection of the child.

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Originally Posted by Zero Cool

why do people divorce?
...enlighten me as to what's going on in this world

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It's called selfishness. One (or more) of them cares more about themselves then their family. That's it. It's that simple. It's the experience that's complicated.


As for childrens choice... that's even more complicated since parents who are selfish also tend to be the kind who have no problem "buying" their childrens affection whether by material means or simply lacks standards whether it's in the childs best interest or not.

Hell guy's my parents were divorced so i know how it feels to be torn in 2 cause you never really know the truth about what happened you can only go with your intuition! To be honest all i remember is fighting as zero has said i remember sitting on the second floor stairway case and listen to them bicker about how the other one never did the right thing! But one thing i've always noticed is that when parents do fight they never think about what's around them and who might be listening in which as arianna said does make them selfish!

Trust me both of my parents have said horrible things to each other and me and they were so young when they had me they didn't really know how to deal with problems. But to be honest you know i love them both just because if i didn't have them i wouldn't be here today but i will never know who truly decided what in my past cause i don't believe either of their stories now they fought to much i don't think any parent that has this happen really knows what happened in their past they think they did what was right even though it may have been completely wrong! I think some parents kind of like mine are evil oh well's i live on my own now so it doesn't really bother me!

i may be pessimistic but i see no reason for someone to get married. Im extremely happy for you if you are married or your parents are married and they are happy. At this point in my life i can say i will probably never get married because my parents do not love each other. Its like the only reason my parents are together is because they dont want to divorce till all of my siblings and i are in college. Which makes me mad, the only reason they stay together is because they dont want us to get hurt. Back to the whole divorce thing, i believe people have taken advantage of marriage and the meaning behind it. it is like the moment it gets tough here comes the divorce papers. Either tough it out or dont get married, it affects everyone when you get a divorce, and even worse when you stay together but do not love each other.

My parents divorced when I was 17...and I'm still not over it, I just can't.

unfortunately children don't get a choice because parents thinks they know whats best for the child and so who the child shud go with.
but it will affect the child when they grow up cos my friends parents got divorced and that affected big time... got depressed and unhappy....
therefore if ur gettin married and want a child.... think before u do

My parents divorced when I was 6 and I didn't even understand a thing of what was going on at that age. It was until my preteens that I had a good understanding of it. And even then it wasn't until I was right out of highschool that I really "saw" how bad my real parents were towards eachother. And I realized if they had even tried to stay together it would have been a living hell. So divorce is definitely a necessary evil sometimes. And I can definitely say children most of the time aren't fit to properly choose. Even when they are teens it would be hard as they'd choose who they "get along with" rather than who can raise them the best. Because they just dont know any better. And teens are too high strung anyways. Courts dont always get the choice right, but I guarantee they'll get a higher percentage right than if we ever just let the kids always pick. just my two cents, and I love my step dad and wouldn't have it anyother way with how I have 2 dads now and a step brother and step sister by them