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Old May 31, 2005, 12:16 AM   #1 (permalink)
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drunk(p)

Im your demon,
I am hell,
Come Closer,
I'll show you Light,
Bring your Life,
So i can shine,
Be my sky,
And i will Fly,
Feel no Pain,
Brings me Shame,
In the Shadows,
Is where i Hide,


-simple


-------------------------------------------------please
-----------------------------------------comments
-------------------------will
----------be
----aprecriated
-thank you,

Last edited by simple; May 31, 2005 at 01:14 AM.
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Old Jun 01, 2005, 08:49 PM   #2 (permalink)
new piks in mem gallery
 
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ohhhhh baby- makes you sound evil, but in one of those'i want to know more' sences..........very interesting and well writen!!

*get back online!!!*
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Old Jun 02, 2005, 05:10 AM   #3 (permalink)
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the name sounds funny by way kool peom
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Old Jun 02, 2005, 06:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Well, its a nice poem none the less, but I have a question. Did you mean for some lines to rhyme and others not? That's the only thing that I saw wrong : )
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Old Jun 02, 2005, 07:19 PM   #5 (permalink)
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not all poems have to rhyme
some have patterns like the number of syllables or the sounds of certain words
some are simply free verse
when it comes to true poetry, you don't restrict your work on the rules of others
you make your own and you give birth to it with your heart and your soul

anyway... my ranting set aside...

that was a nice poem
I liked it

[-_-] Ih
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Old Jun 02, 2005, 07:22 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I'm not saying that all poems had to rhyme, I was just pointing out that he had some verses rhyming and others not. That's not a common pattern for poetry : )

Last edited by Aya Makatokki; Jun 02, 2005 at 07:25 PM. Reason: Spelling Error
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Old Jun 02, 2005, 07:47 PM   #7 (permalink)
2 Highscores
Its Over 9000!
 
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kool poem dude, it is awesome i like the part that says "Im your demon,
I am hell"keep it up man!!!
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