Thread: Dying Alone

Originally Posted by ketaro

Here i'm dying alone in my bed
I would like to have a happy end
I would like to see my family again
I would like to tell them how lonely i feel
I would like to see my girlfriend again
I would like to tell her that when i was with her how happy i felt
I would like to stay more time alive, but my time has come.

that's beautyful great job and song like you having alot of problem or trouble

The nikon never dies, asspecialy not alone, well nice poem, i say the short ones are the great ones.

Ooh I see LORD NIKON's got a new avatar + sig pic. Nice. :]

ANYWAY.. I thought the poem wasn't much of an expressive one, but I can get the idea that you're sad and depressed etc etc. You could try not to repeat the "I would like to.." so much, but this is all your own work and I have no right to say anything much negative. It's just my suggestion. But anyway, I like the last line of your poem. :]

Thanks you all for criticise my work, that helps me to improve a lot, well i know that i used the "I would like to" too many times.

I don't like to die alone.. But I like your work there. Nice ones.

When a persons life is ending, many regrets will gain the upper hand and the persons hopes to live another day to make things up.

I hope everyone understood the message in the poem and Ketaro, you've done a good job and thanks for the reminder.

noicely written...i agree with the lord....shortness puts so much into it...