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Thread: Excessive negatism

  1. #1
    Otaku dark_glaive may be famous one day dark_glaive may be famous one day
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    Excessive negatism

    At a meeting at work today I go to listen to one of my co-workers talk about how he finds it hard to write computer programs for class (we are all part-time people who go to college) while he was drunk. Then, some other guy spoke up and said he finds it hard to program all the time. I got to thinking that in situations like this someone always speaks up and talks about how poorly they are doing and then laugh over it. While attending classes, I'm always hearing people talk about how they are failing tests, having a hard time with homework, and having to stay up late at night to keep up with their work.

    Now, I've always been a good student in high school and college (not to brag), and I absolutely refuse to stay up late doing work and manage my time accordingly. I'm just about sick and tired of hearing people complain and I'd like to hear someone besides myself affirm that they are succeeding in their endeavors. I never say anything like "well I'm doing great in school," but I'm sure as hell thinking it.

    Could someone please explain to me what the deal is with my fellow students and their constant complaints? If I walked around and talked about how I was doing well, I'd get called an arrogant prick, but everyone seems to be ok with hearing others complaints of ineptitude. Seems to me that if talking about success is bad, then complaining about failure should be as well. I've gotten annoyed with hearing people talk like this to the point where I don't want to show up to my classes early because I have to listen to people complain of their failures. Surely, someone in school is doing well. I'm a former cynic, and I'd like to believe the best in people, but to listen to people around campus talk students, at least, are a miserable lot.
    Last edited by dark_glaive; Apr 08, 2005 at 11:19 PM.
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  2. #2
    Otaku Vaines may be famous one day Vaines may be famous one day Vaines's Avatar
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    Well after having had my course of social psychology, and from my personal opinion, I can tell you that I believe people complain because it gives them a reason for their possible failure, making them feel like "ok this was going to happen anyway" in the case of a failure.

    I too get called an arrogant prick, people even gave me the cold shoulder when I went to see the copy of one of my examinations (which I had done well, but wanted to know why I didn't get the maximum) while about 90% of the students had failed.

    I am quite optimistic of myself, and feel just like you. I'm tired of people complaining, as well as people not allowing you to say that something's difficult or to feel stressed because it "will go well for you anyways"...

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    M A S T E R Zui Quan may be famous one day Zui Quan may be famous one day Zui Quan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dark_glaive

    Now, I've always been a good student in high school and college (not to brag),
    That one phrase of yours says everything. You say you've always been a good student, but then you qualify it by adding the "not to brag" part. It's a perfect illustration of how it's now socially unacceptable to be proud of your own accomplishments. To be outwardly satisfied with one's own achievements has somehow become warped into a societal taboo. Our world is such now that we can't celebrate our complete victories, but it's some sort of badge of honor when we get a colossal defeat. And that, friends, doesn't seem right.
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    Otaku ryke12 may be famous one day ryke12 may be famous one day
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    Just making sure here, the "non-bragging" we're talking about is somehow different from Japan's "the nail that sticks out gets hammered" idea, right?

    Just checking.

    Oh, yeah, and some people think that they're forced to not brag. I, on the other hand, find it perfectly acceptable to not shout out my accomplishments. It's not polite. "Hey, what'd you get on this test?" "I got a 50 " "Well, I got a 100!"

    It's not very polite to rub it in their faces.

    And before Zui Quan says something, I just gotta add that if you have a "complete victory", then someone else HAS to have a "colossal defeat". Simple as that. Some people may argue, so I created a little "scenario".
    "Hey, that test was hard, wasn't it?"
    "Yeah, I can't believe I managed a B on it."
    "Wow! YOU got a B?! Everyone else FAILED!"
    See? You judge your accomplishments by other's failings.

    Of course, same goes for people who do truly retarded things like "HAHA! My grade is LOWER than yours!" They DESERVE to fail (unless they're joking, of course).

    Personally, I don't see many (if any) people celebrate their losses. "Yo, check THIS out: my house burned down! Oh, yeah!"

    And some people just do better than others in certain things. Like me, for example. I am awesome in math, but then World History kicks my a**.

    I don't study (ever, I brought my books home maybe twice this school year), and so World History is a struggle for me. I have to seriously WORK to remember things. Math? Easy. But some of my friends are opposite. They can just LOOK at a page and remember the essential details. This does great in World History, but terrible in Math, because Math is about execution of ideas. So if I were to study for World History, I would probably have to stay up for an entire night.
    Maybe I'll come up eith a sig soon... until then, be patient.

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    Otaku Vaines may be famous one day Vaines may be famous one day Vaines's Avatar
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    I'm sorry, but I personally believe the idea of being impolite to be false, if you aren't proud of your victory just because it's better than others that is. If you are really proud of yourself for something you have accomplished, it is something between the victory and you, and you should be able to tell the world you are happy to have succeeded.

    If for some reason you are blocked each time you want to feel good about yourself (ie to "be polite and not rub it in their faces) then I believe you will have a lower self-esteem, problems in asserting yourself and will feel denatured and less unique because you wouldn't show one part of you that is different.

    Those are my thoughts. So if people complain, let others say how happy they are with what they do or have done.

  6. #6
    Strange Times Dark. is making a name for themselves Dark. is making a name for themselves Dark.'s Avatar
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    Hello? Students are people. People are NEVER satisfied, I have a friend who gets grounded for getting one B. just one. I always hear those stupid "perfect" students complaining about how they missed ONE problem on a test, or messed up one stupid little thing. It's a stupid human habit for most, especially in perfectionists.

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    Newbie Dark_Soul may be famous one day Dark_Soul may be famous one day Dark_Soul's Avatar
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    Well, you can be proud of your accomplishments without telling other ppl. Why would you need to do it? I like to belive that I'm a good student (even if I'm not), because I try as hard as I can. But, when somebody doesn't try hard enough, they need something to justify their failure. It is not bad to tell the others about your victory, but there's always a way to do it.

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    I know I know! ok they do this for attention..true example of how far someone will go~ my friend just addmitted she was molested and this other girl says she was and we all know its not true..its sorta a competition of sorts for somone to feel sorry for you and if someone really likes the spot light they go pretty far if not they'll just one up the person. Its sorta like a disorder of mental status when someone takes the spot light away from someone who is used to having it they'll do anything to claim it back.
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