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Thread: Heaven

  1. #1
    Otaku roger_smith may be famous one day roger_smith may be famous one day roger_smith's Avatar
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    Heaven

    As you sit across from me
    I notice my own Decadentcy
    That has made me a refugee
    Then your wonderous eyes fall upon me
    I want to look away but I can't
    As my mind raves and rants
    You stand up and walk on over
    And my ears kick up like Red Rover
    And my heart melts like the chocolate of Stover
    You sit down beside me and slide your chair closer
    I turn to you and I can not Speak
    You turn away and the outcome looks leak
    So I muster my strength and without warning
    I kiss you so I can end my inner mourning

    Then I wake to a grey morning
    Just another god damn dream
    I wish I could break the seam
    Between what we call reality
    And my dreams which I call heaven

    I miss you Ashley
    And I'll never forget Thee.


    Tell me what you think of it. I like how I used Russell Stover seeing as Russell happens to be the name given to me by my mother and father.
    This pain is sratching at my bone.
    And this Loneliness won't leave me alone.

  2. #2
    ruler of mune667 deaths_raver667 may be famous one day deaths_raver667 may be famous one day deaths_raver667's Avatar
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    i like it, it's sad. and i find it also seems to calm me.
    i am the urban monky
    look to the mune

  3. #3
    Otaku Lady Sasumi may be famous one day Lady Sasumi may be famous one day Lady Sasumi's Avatar
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    Teases you about loving Ashley. j/k

    Nice poem, I'm not really much for sad love poems. It's well written though, for the most part.

    One question though, did you mean bleak instead of leak?

    Quote Originally Posted by roger_smith
    You turn away and the outcome looks leak
    Last edited by Lady Sasumi; May 23, 2005 at 01:47 PM.

  4. #4
    Otaku roger_smith may be famous one day roger_smith may be famous one day roger_smith's Avatar
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    Its a sad story just like the ones I write in my spare time. Just like the stories I write it is also a good one. Well not as good as my little make believe stories but as far as true stories go it is good.
    This pain is sratching at my bone.
    And this Loneliness won't leave me alone.

  5. #5
    Otaku Lady Sasumi may be famous one day Lady Sasumi may be famous one day Lady Sasumi's Avatar
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    So is the poem about a girl named Ashely, or did you just use that name because it went along with the poem?

  6. #6
    tak
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    kool poem and keep up with the work

  7. #7
    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
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    wow dude that poem rocks!!!!! keep it up man!!!

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