I wholeheartedly agree with you on that point. As for myself, and my future kids.. We'll be both playing video games together.
While I think this whole video game = violence debate is gibberish caused by furious parents and politicians, I do believe there there is a certain age limit to games, but it's not as severe as the ESRB ratings. I think Vegeta has made one of the best posts on the subject that I have ever seen. I also plan take a similar approach to my kids.
Let's be honest with ourselves, ratings have never stopped us now, and never will stop the kids of tomorrow. Furthermore, while I don't believe video games cause kids to become violent, and/or want to shoot up some place, the best remedy is to be actively involved in your kid's life. While you want to set your role as a parent first, and a best friend second, I think the best way to keep your kid out of trouble, is to be constantly active in his life. For example, if your kid wants to buy a violent 1st-person shooter game... Play the game with him. By playing with him, and participating with him, you control the atmosphere and the "aura" mentioned above, that supposedly sets in when they are playing games.
It's time to stop ignoring your kids. It's time to stop acting surprised when they get in trouble. It's time to stop the blame game. Play with your kids, and be a part of their life, as you're supposed to, and everything will slowly set itself into play.