I think the key word you used is "controlled" ... our intelligence allows us to control our behaviors, it does not stop us from feeling what we feel. Thus, when I say that the person has "fallen out of love" it means that there is at least one "condition" that conflicts with the attraction we feel for another and to a certain extent, the two forces battle for ultimate outcome ... do we love despite and accept, or separate due to the differences being to great?Originally Posted by Tivles of Light
Emotions in themselves, and in particular the strong ones (love and hate) are, not something we can turn on and off ... but I have found that such emotions can (though difficult) be "redirected" by force of intellect. Not stopped or cancelled, they are too fundemental and basic to our natures to do that, but like a dam... the flow can be moderated or redirected.
Have you seen the first "Zorro" movie with Antonio Banderas and Anthony Hopkins? If so, compare the character of the old zorro with the young protege, and note how each character handles the very strong emotions of love and hate.
Or perhaps, have you ever taken Aikido? The basis for this martial art is the redirection of your opponents energies. So, the intellect is like Mr. Miyagi in the Karate kid, small, wise and experienced ... his opponent (emotions) is large, powerful ... but not so smart ... now the wise Miyagi knows that his opponent is stronger than himself, but by technique and experience he is able to dodge the powerful but clumsy blow and use leverage and his opponents momentum to thow his opponent off balance and thereby gain the upperhand.
So in short, I don't think we ever stop feeling (we are animals after all, just very smart ones), but as we get older and more experienced, we humans can learn to control how we EXPRESS such emotions through the use of intellect and reason ... and like the lampshade either illuminate or darken, but not turn off.