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Thread: This Lovecore

  1. #1
    Otaku Nightwish may be famous one day Nightwish may be famous one day Nightwish's Avatar
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    This Lovecore

    this is a poem/song i wrote about my kristin. i ain't too pleased with it since it seems a little obsessive, but here it is anyways.

    "This Lovecore"

    i love u too much.
    i would help u through anything.
    i would save u from anything.
    i would give my life for u.
    nothin could ever change that.
    i just wanna be there for u any time that u could possibly want me there for u.
    u mean the world to me.
    i want to be with u forever.
    i love u always and forever.
    and that eternity will last longer than that forever.
    no matter where u are, just know that i will be there for u in a heartbeat.
    through thick and thin, truth and sin, i will never back down nor take rest.
    for i want u to be mine.
    and mine alone.
    i love u more than anyone else possibly could.
    no one seems to understand this passion that i have for u.
    i just think i'm lucky enough to be your friend.
    cuz someone as cool as u, as beautiful as u, as breathtaking as u, deserves someone better than me.
    u are absolutly too good for anyone like me.
    u are everything, i am nothing.
    u are everything, i am nothing.
    u are everything, i am nothing.
    i just think about u all the time.
    i see u in my dreams, see u in my mind, see u every place i go.
    u're always there.
    just like i'd always be there for u.
    u're the only one for me.
    no one seems to believe that's true.
    but all that really matters to me, is what u think.
    that's all that ever mattered to me to begin with.
    my love for u is like a virus.
    it never goes away and never'll go away.
    there's no cure for the toxicity of this plague.
    this sickness is all that keeps me alive.
    keeps me breathing at night and through the day.
    how do i feel, i don't exactly know anymore.
    but all i do know is, i love u with all my heart.
    from the snow-capped top, to the pits of hell at the bottom.
    love for u exists.
    just like it always will.
    so essentially this love is a lovecore.
    call this a lovecore.
    label this a lovecore.
    entitle this a lovecore.
    identify this as a lovecore.

  2. #2
    Otaku Kikieru may be famous one day Kikieru may be famous one day Kikieru's Avatar
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    Very good, good lengh, many alternative sayings, generaly you might want to use full words instead of short ones like You - u, Coz - becouse, it looks better if you use full words, some ppl dont like shortened words, but it would make a great song. are you a musician/vocalist?

    ps... "toxicity of this plague", SOAD-toxicity, Slipknot-My plague, it reminds me of these .

  3. #3
    Otaku Nightwish may be famous one day Nightwish may be famous one day Nightwish's Avatar
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    no i ain't a vocalist. i wish i was, but i suck so i don't think it would ever work. and i could agree with u on the full work thing. i'll change it and post an upgraded one. and the funny part is, u were right about the "toxicity of this plague" line. i was listening to My Plague when i wrote that part. and i happened to have the cd case for Toxicity by SOAD sitting by my computer. so u were right about that.

  4. #4
    Otaku Nightwish may be famous one day Nightwish may be famous one day Nightwish's Avatar
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    alright. i made all the corrections to it. this is the final copy. thnx for the tips kikieru. i think they made it better.

    "This Lovecore"

    I love you too much.
    I would help you through anything.
    I would save you from anything.
    I would give my life for you.
    Nothin could ever change that.
    I just wanna be there for u any time that u could possibly want me there for u.
    You mean the world to me.
    I want to be with you forever.
    I love you always and forever.
    And that eternity will last longer than that forever.
    No matter where you are, just know that I will be there for you in a heartbeat.
    Through thick and thin, truth and sin, I will never back down nor take rest.
    For I want you to be mine.
    And mine alone.
    I love you more than anyone else possibly could.
    No one seems to understand this passion that I have for you.
    I just think I'm lucky enough to be your friend.
    Because someone as cool as you, as beautiful as you, as breathtaking as you, deserves someone better than me.
    You are absolutly too good for anyone like me.
    You are everything, I am nothing.
    You are everything, I am nothing.
    You are everything, I am nothing.
    I just think about you all the time.
    I see you in my dreams, see u in my mind, see u every place i go.
    You're always there.
    Just like I'd always be there for you.
    You're the only one for me.
    No one seems to believe that's true.
    But all that really matters to me, is what you think.
    That's all that ever mattered to me to begin with.
    My love for you is like a virus.
    It never goes away and never'll go away.
    There's no cure for the toxicity of this plague.
    This sickness is all that keeps me alive.
    Keeps me breathing at night and through the day.
    How do I feel, I don't exactly know anymore.
    But all I do know is, I love you with all my heart.
    From the snow-capped top, to the pits of hell at the bottom.
    Love for you exists.
    Just like it always will.
    So essentially this love is a lovecore.
    Call this a lovecore.
    Label this a lovecore.
    Entitle this a lovecore.
    Identify this as a lovecore.

  5. #5
    Banned lord nikon may be famous one day lord nikon may be famous one day lord nikon's Avatar
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    I dont know, its too long, but i would give it a 7.5

  6. #6
    Otaku Kikieru may be famous one day Kikieru may be famous one day Kikieru's Avatar
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    Love it, Written like a pro, yeah this is a very old replie, I havent been on in a while, been working, now im spending...heeeheee, 700 pounds on anime.

  7. #7
    Newbie Neuroport may be famous one day Neuroport may be famous one day Neuroport's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lord nikon
    I dont know, its too long, but i would give it a 7.5
    I love commercialising art, don't you?

    I give this trash/10.
    "Impartiality is a pompous name for indifference, which is an elegant name for ignorance." -- G. K. Chesterton
    ozBB - everything you need and then some less.
    http://www.omegazorgon.com/bb/index.php?

  8. #8
    Newbie Lupus Yonderboy may be famous one day Lupus Yonderboy may be famous one day
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    Please write in proper english.

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