Ok... Tell me if this note sounds good. Dont be mad at me because of the fact that I was playin a girl :( . I already beat myself up about it enough.
Player Queen, (eek probably not a good time to joke around =/)
Sorry, this is typed…. *to lazy to write* (been doing it all day) pfft. Anyway, I understand why you would be mad at me and I apologize. I didn’t ever really lie to you… I just kept things hidden from you. Which was quite wrong, I was just trying to fit everything into my little scheme. “I can’t spin the world how I want to” –Stewie. Bleh… me and my silly quotes. Anyhow, I didn’t mean Sommer was like “ask me out now!” I just meant that she put me right on the spot when she said “when are you going to ask me out?” I had absolutely no idea what to say… because I knew it was only temporary (which was stupid of me). So I didn’t want to be mean and say no… so I said yes, that’s all. Then I completely regretted that later on. So, that relationship is over now and never will be again because I won’t settle for anyone less than you (I know that sounds serious but I don’t care how long I have to wait). I just think your perfect and that’s all there is to it. I don’t even know if you like me anymore but that’s what so confusing, I don’t exactly know what I’m suppose to do… Just wait until it’s the right time… or leave it in the past and just be friends (I wouldn’t mind that [It may not be exactly what I want but the only thing that matters is what you want]… but I just have that same question in my head “Will she ever like me or is she just saying things to put it off to get me to go away?” and that’s a question I need you to be real honest about before I can go any farther). I completely understand about the whole parent thing, that used to be an issue with me, but eventually it passed away. That’s what I mean when I say I will wait. Sorry if this is a jumbled mess, it’s just because I’m writing my feelings about everything. You probably think I’m out of my mind but that’s fine with me… I just want you to know all the questions that are going through my head. Well… that’s all I really have to say about this, I’m glad that everything isn’t ruined between us. In the future though, come and talk to me… I’ll give you the honest truth even if it makes you hate me. I wont hide anything from you, it’s just I was really confused and I only had one person to consult with… and that was Kelley. She told me not to say anything yet… so I didn’t. We take each other’s advice. This is the result though and I really have learned to just tell you everything. You may see this as a huge upset in our relationship but I see it more as how it strengthens it… Well now that I have completely embarrassed myself by telling you everything I feel, I’ll leave you to write back how you feel about how insane I am =).
Your new and improved friend,
Sorry if this is confusing, feel free to ask questions.