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Thread: {poem} The Begining Of The End

  1. #1
    Newbie Jess may be famous one day Jess may be famous one day
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    Arrow {poem} The Begining Of The End

    The Begining Of The End


    Alone
    Abandoned
    Went from one to another
    Obsession after the repeating fall
    Searching
    Climbing
    Crawling
    Seeing a glimpse near a far off star
    Reaching
    Driving
    Surrendering
    Diminishing
    Failing
    Looking down at a speck of hope
    Just before that last beat
    Salvaged
    Revived
    Saved
    I wake up in its arms
    A shine on my face
    An opportunity in its smile
    A relief on its brow
    A love in its eyes
    This one and final thought
    Reflection
    Image
    This one feeling is all I remember
    All I adore
    My closeing breath
    My concluding expression
    I saw
    I felt
    I watched
    I dreamed
    I loved
    I believed that all I had worked for was worth the struggle
    And then
    The end
    I finally found what I was looking for
    And as it happened, all that time it was looking for me
    Now I slumber peacefully
    Undisturbed
    Calm
    Serene
    In harmony
    Thinking of the one
    The hero

    By: Jess

  2. #2
    Newbie Jess may be famous one day Jess may be famous one day
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    forgot to say: please rate ny poems on a scale from 1 to 10 (1 being the worst you've every heaed and 10 the best you've ever heard) Thanks and it would be nice if you gave some constuctive critisisum (sp). thanks

    -Jess (i'm a girl- just saying unless there's confusion)

  3. #3
    Newbie Citara may be famous one day Citara may be famous one day
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    I like the way it was written but the ending is bleak, good job though

  4. #4
    Newbie Jess may be famous one day Jess may be famous one day
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    Thanks, Citara, and i know that was a bad ending. someone gave me a topic to write about and unfortunatly I needed to incorrporate the word. But there wasn't much room in it for more. I think it was long enough. So i went with that as the best choice. I'll try to change it. But, thanks again!!!
    - Jess

  5. #5
    Devoted Otaku youth_anime_fan may be famous one day youth_anime_fan may be famous one day
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    it reads well. it has a sense of realism in it that is distinct in itself.
    i give it a %76.679423245643234546

  6. #6
    Newbie Jess may be famous one day Jess may be famous one day
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    Thanks, not much to say but i understand what you're saying. I appreciate the comments and ratings.
    - Jess

  7. #7
    Newbie Synical may be famous one day Synical may be famous one day Synical's Avatar
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    it's ok it could be better

  8. #8
    May
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    Hmmm...I suppose one of my poems kinda fits in this thread. I dont want to start a whole new thread, be kinda of waste of bandwidth. This poem was written from my personal experiences... Here it goes...

    A Mile in My Shoes.
    By: May


    You think you know me, and what I go through,
    but you really have no idea, not even a clue.
    Everything I hear, that people say of me
    is nothing new, or nothing hard to see.

    People say to me, that it seems life is great
    They say I have no worries, in this town or state
    But really on my face, under this smile, through these eyes,
    happiness seems so far, as about a 1000 miles.

    I go through so much stuff, so much pain and sorrow.
    Nothing ever seems new, not today, not tomorrow.
    I always try to hide it, and never seem to blunt but
    it seems I’m doing a good job, cause no one notices my front

    But I have too, because I don’t like the attention;
    or anything else, especially redemption
    I go through life, as someone I’m not,
    but when it comes to my best friends, it seems I always get caught

    They know the real me, the person deep inside
    not what everyone else sees, not the person outside
    They look right passed the image, they no what I can be
    Some thing I don’t get, something I don’t see

    This front goes so far, and no one could see
    i can fool everyone else in the world, but I cant even fool me
    I put my life through so much danger.
    When ever I look in a mirror, it’s as if I’m looking at a stranger

    There are so many days, when I think of killing myself.
    I don’t deserve this place, there’s no room on God’s shelf
    I stand here everyday, with a scissor in my hand.
    Waiting for that day, where I’m struggling to stand.

    I take pills, and I still walk through life
    not wanting to be here, not wanting to be alive,
    cutting myself, slicing my veins.
    It’s not permanent, but people’s hearts will be stained.

    This is my life. I walk through it each day.
    I will always pray for God to take me away so I don’t have live life this way.
    So you think you know me, and what I go through.
    Maybe you don’t, until you walk a mile in my shoes.
    Instead of thinking about where you are, think about where you want to be.
    It takes twenty years of hard work to become an overnight success.

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