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Thread: [poem] day&nights

  1. #1
    Devoted Otaku youth_anime_fan may be famous one day youth_anime_fan may be famous one day
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    [poem] day&nights

    Days and nights stand at my doorway
    The irreversable instance, time can troll its way
    Forward is how this reality makes its days
    The only way to forget that is hiding in the night

    Shallow water is pale in the moonlight
    The barking dogs are far away in the distance
    Hallowing hills make their signature in the sky
    What is it that makes the night so cry?

    Attributed to such is hate and pain
    Night often takes on such a name
    But how wonderfull is such an awsome time
    Where the mist makes its home, across that hill.

    ~youth_anime_fan

  2. #2
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Hmmmm. In away I got the feel that poem was flowing everywhere. Then it wasnt. The last verse is what messed me up. I feel you could have ended better. But this is good. Great job.
    Seduced by Flesh


  3. #3
    Devoted Otaku youth_anime_fan may be famous one day youth_anime_fan may be famous one day
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    Hmm... yes, I couldn't think of better endings for some, but I often make poems where you have to seperate the stanzas and take it one piece at a time. I often use confusing corralation to tie in the stanzas or even sentences, well, just because I like people to think. But, this isn't one of my best... but thanks.

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