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Thread: scary (poem)

  1. #1
    ruler of mune667 deaths_raver667 may be famous one day deaths_raver667 may be famous one day deaths_raver667's Avatar
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    scary (poem) + (story)

    There is a creature of purest light,
    That comes within the darkest night,
    To eat the innards of human beings.
    And yet it always leaves the heart,
    And to this most symbolic part,
    It turns it white and black.
    There inside the heart it does lay,
    Three seeds to be born a latter day,
    All destined to be different things.
    One of the beasts fathering kind,
    One shall be of human mind,
    The third shall be the weirdest one.
    The third will be a mix of the two,
    Of the creatures own blood who,
    Is doomed to have the most fun.
    Many by its hands will die,
    All will be it’s lovers who cry,
    As their ribs are torn apart,
    So seeds can be sown in their heart,
    Which will be turned black and white,
    By this new creature of purest light!


    it's gonna be the start to a story i'm writing
    Last edited by deaths_raver667; Apr 23, 2005 at 03:01 AM. Reason: just adding story to the title
    i am the urban monky
    look to the mune

  2. #2
    Otaku deidre_the_goddess may be famous one day deidre_the_goddess may be famous one day deidre_the_goddess's Avatar
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    Nice^_^. Anyway, good luck to the story that you are writing.

  3. #3
    Banned lord nikon may be famous one day lord nikon may be famous one day lord nikon's Avatar
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    Nice riming, its great.

  4. #4
    Otaku Kiri79 may be famous one day Kiri79 may be famous one day Kiri79's Avatar
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    It was a little creepy, but I still loved it. If you did write a story to that poem, I bet it would be worth two thumbs up!

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    Self Banned and Loving it narrator may be famous one day narrator may be famous one day narrator's Avatar
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    I like it, it does the trick nice stuff

  6. #6
    ruler of mune667 deaths_raver667 may be famous one day deaths_raver667 may be famous one day deaths_raver667's Avatar
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    i'll post the story soon well the first chapter anyway, i just have a couple of paragraphs to do, thanks for all the comments
    i am the urban monky
    look to the mune

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    Newbie T Elocin may be famous one day T Elocin may be famous one day T Elocin's Avatar
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    Kinda creepy, yet pulls you in. Nice poem. I can't wait to hear your story.

  8. #8
    ruler of mune667 deaths_raver667 may be famous one day deaths_raver667 may be famous one day deaths_raver667's Avatar
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    ok it's not the full first chapter, but as i've been swamped with coursework i thought i would post this bit before i forgot about the whole thing. and a warning here it's just a little bit weird.

    I wake, and my head hurts so much, yet again I have fallen off my bed in the middle of one of my weird dreams. The thing I hate the most about these dreams; is the fact that I can never remember what happens in them. All I remember is a dripping sound; the dripping isn't a fast drip but a slow one with around three to fore minutes between each drip. The sound bores away inside my head as I try to remember the night’s activities. Once I give up trying to remember I drag my female fourteen year old carcass up from the floor of my room. I stumble into the white pristine bath room and take a look in the mirror, by black hair is drenched and matted in sweat. My skin is white with what I can only guess is fear, slowly pink returns to my cheeks. I take a shower, wash my hair, clean my teeth and then I see the clock, and the time and I nearly piss my self, in fact I do, it's a good thing I’m not wearing anything. In my bedroom I get dressed in a good time and run down stairs, my adoptive father is holding the door open with one hand and the other is holding a buttered slice of toast. I say my "thank you" and grab the toast as I rush outside. Then a bag hits me in the back, I stop pick it up and carry on running.
    The bus is alive with conversation and I know I'm not welcome, most of my friends live close enough to school to walk. Wait what am I saying, my two friends live close enough to walk. We're the reject group, no one likes us, and we just don't really fit into any groups so we don't get invited to be friends with people. But we are happy like this, we're invisible we can sit near anyone and they'll talk about anything, we know everything about everyone. Some people don't like us though, most people just ignore us but some actively attack us. Oh sorry I'm kind of going away from the subject at hand. so I'm on the bus, on my own, when we stop at a previously unstopped at house, and this really quite hot boy gets on, and sits next to me, I'm like "wooooooaaaah" but in my head, I do the me thing and talk to him without introducing myself about something random.
    "Do you think that there could ever be a market for whale cheese?" I'm pretty proud of myself it's a nice weird question with no real meaning, thinking about this I realize why I have few friends.
    "Yeah I suppose that it could be used by bulimics due to it's incredibly high fat content" he smiles a smile on one side of his mouth and looks at me, this guy is smooth. I intro myself and he tells me his name is Baron, when I find this out I attempt not to laugh, but it is impossible but he just smiles that smile again, I like him.




    oh yeah the title is "i wake"
    i am the urban monky
    look to the mune

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