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Thread: Sentimentality

  1. #1
    Otaku vb0xn4rd may be famous one day vb0xn4rd may be famous one day
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    Sentimentality

    Sentimentality - by Derek Edmonds

    I try to be cold
    like the snow gently falling
    I try to be hard
    like a marble figurine

    I can't keep it pent up
    it's too much to handle
    The warmth melts the ice
    that encases my heart

    Emotions long silenced
    have awoken with passion
    You fill my thoughts
    my dreams and my hopes

    I try to be cold
    but you burn me up
    I try to be hard
    but you mold me like clay

    ----
    FYI: Sentimentality - the condition of being excessively emotional instead of reasonable

    Poet's analysis: Hmm, I've had a terrible case of writer's block recently, so I'm glad that's over. At least, I think it's over. I guess I'll find out when I try to write the next poem. As for this one, I kinda like how it turned out. I think it aptly expresses the whole emotion vs reason thing that I was going for, albeit with some brevity. But, hey, I'm not going to lessen quality for quantity, so I'm happy with the length. I do think I need some work on my metaphor, though. Or is it simile?
    Last edited by vb0xn4rd; Mar 13, 2005 at 06:34 PM.

  2. #2
    Self Banned and Loving it narrator may be famous one day narrator may be famous one day narrator's Avatar
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    Very touching and finely written.....keep em comin

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    Otaku steelangelanna may be famous one day steelangelanna may be famous one day steelangelanna's Avatar
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    i larve it Derek! awesomeful

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    Otaku MuMu Champion Shade/K' Heart may be famous one day Shade/K' Heart may be famous one day Shade/K' Heart's Avatar
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    Nice job. Don't worry, length is meaningless, so long as the emotion is portrayed. That's why mine are long. I tell a story, you just tell a moment. Again Nice Work. Just like Narrator said, "....keep em coming"

    Far be it for me to be anything special, when the only special thing I desire with me, is the special person I share my gifts with.

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    Otaku eleonne has disabled reputation eleonne's Avatar
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    K' Heart's right, length is meaningless as long as the emotion is portrayed. I admire the similes and metaphors you used - they make the poem so much more meaningful while broadening the reader's perspective of the theme. Nice work!

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