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Thread: Sex....Before or After?

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    Re: Sex....Before or After?

    though i didn't agree on it, my sister married at age 19, marring this guy in the Navy. Now she had already had sex before, but that's because she lost her way religiously. I personally think sex before marriage is fine, but i do know that it's wrong in many religious cultures. my opinin on the marriage to have sex faster just shows how immature some people in this world are. They screw up thier lives just so they don't insult some of thier more religious relatives, or something. Also so they can have sex and feel more like a man/woman about who they are.... making them more childish in the first place. I look at is this way. I'd only have sex with someone who loves me for who I am. I'd want to let her decide on it, AND prove to myself that she loves me. I've been broken too many times before a first kiss, so sex is just something that will have to wait, wether it's before OR after marriage.

    Far be it for me to be anything special, when the only special thing I desire with me, is the special person I share my gifts with.

  2. #10
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    Re: Sex....Before or After?

    Quote Originally Posted by Meiwaku
    I don't know if that is statistically proven, but hell I think it can be proven just from observation. One family of my cousins is very religious and all their kids were married by the time they were 18 or 19. My sisters ex boyfriend who was overly religious ended up marrying right out of highschool. And I know of several other people who were religious that got married right out of highschool as well. I mean all the best to them, but it just seemed odd that they would find someone and then 6 months later run to the alter like they were in a rush for something they weren't ready for. And hey even the ultra family friendly semi religious show 7th Heaven brought up the idea that people who wait to have sex till they are married may get married earlier because they want to have sex.

    I don't know about that or care, just making an observation.

    As for my opinion, Sex has nothing to do with my moral beliefs or values, because I don't view it as immoral. It's just an activity like exercising, something you do when you're bored or want to have some fun and it just so happens you can share it with someone else. But like any activity it can be dangerous if the right precautions aren't taken, but there is a danger for most everything. I don't see marriage as a means of finally being able to experience that act. If someone wants to wait fine, it's their choice, but if someone doesn't want to, it's fine that is their choice.

    I don't even see why people put such an emphasis on it. It's not that big of a deal. In highschool people treated it like this shocking taboo "Gasp oh my god, so and so had sex"
    Maybe it's because I'm an adult now (Well only according to my age) and it just seems less of a deal that it did back then.

    I feel the same way you do somewhat. It aint no big deal, just a way to express how much you love someone. Wouldnt do it so hastely as you though.


    Also you dont have to get married, to be tested for diseases. If your wanting to have sex with your long time bf, just go get tested. Dont need marriage for that.

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    Re: Sex....Before or After?

    Yes but not on like the frist date or the first time you meet someone...if a greater amount of time is given and thought then yes why not?
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  4. #12
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    Re: Sex....Before or After?

    For me I am going to say no sex for me till I get married or engaged. Of course that is just an excuse for me not being able to get any. Jokes aside, it really depends on how much value you put on sex. If you're someone who sleeps around for fun, or maybe it's your job then your value of the concept of sex is not as high as someone who might save it for the person they love.

    Now, that is why there's a diffence between humans and wild animals. Some of us are able to control ourselves despite what our body chemicals (hormones) try to rule us and tell us to go for it. Now like Delerium I am not against sex before marriage, but love is blind and people often make mistakes. I think sex is very special even as a guy, and think it's only best to do it with people you love. If you love having one night stands, there's always a chance of getting infected with whatever.

    But know this, I am all for sex, because it's been proven scientifically to make a couple's life happier and helps lose weight and what not.

    EDIT: Oh yeah, marriage in my definition doesn't have to be put on the ring, stuff like that, just two people who are sure the other is the right one
    Last edited by Legend; Sep 27, 2005 at 11:21 AM.

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    Re: Sex....Before or After?

    Not waiting to have sex until marriage sounds very idealistic when you're single. Sex may be an expression of Love, and you don't have to marry someone you're in Love with. However, the 5h17 hits the fan once you find the person to spend your life with. I've seen too many examples of relationships go sour because someone's significant other found out their partner had mad/wild/promiscuous sex before they met. Regardless of their own history, to boot! Free-love doesn't sound as appealing when you're planning your future with someone.

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    Re: Sex....Before or After?

    I don't believe in waiting til marriage...because what if you never get married? I think sex before marriage is fine if both people are in a commited relationship and really care/love each other. Mei basically said most of my feelings on the subject.

    And I think too much emphasis is put on sex. People probably expect this magical moment on their honeymoon when they finally get to give each other to themselves but it could turn out to be really awkward if both people are virgins.

    So yeah, if people wanna wait til marriage, that's cool. But its not my bag.

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    Re: Sex....Before or After?

    I don't really care what people do in their own lives. It's their business. But for me, I certainly didn't wait until marrige!! What happens if you never get married? You will be deprived!! But in the end, it's what you feel is right in your heart, for your life. Don't be influenced by others - peer pressure is for little kids.

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    Re: Sex....Before or After?

    Err..what's the big rush in wanting to have sex? I haven't, and I'm not in any rush to. I'm waiting till I'm out of college before thinking about guys. And that's four more years ^^. I'm waiting till I get married. It's in my culture...I was raised to think this *shrugs*.

    Y'know, I was wondering about this. Don't studies show that people with pre-marital (sp?)relationships divorce a heck of a lot more than people who don't?

    And please do not worry about not getting married. My 80 year old grandfather re-married.
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