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Thread: Should Age matter?

  1. #41
    Otaku GamesTesterJan may be famous one day GamesTesterJan may be famous one day GamesTesterJan's Avatar
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    I want to ask her but im scared of hearing what i dont really want to hear....i will ask when i get the nerve to do so i guess.
    i dont think that age should matter in terms of loving someone but the real question that bugs me is if that love can be taken seriously, all i really care about is her but sometimes i wonder.Jan

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    Otaku ryke12 may be famous one day ryke12 may be famous one day
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    First off, just to state this, I am a Sophomore in High School. Now, don't ignore me because of that. I actually have seen some ridiculous relationships, and wanted to explain what I feel are "boundaries".
    OK, to start with, is School. If both of you are out of school, only my last criteria applies to you.
    Second up is the school year thing. I am in tenth grade, and I am still young for my grade, 'cuz I was in Nebraska before I came to Georgia, and there the age laws for school are less strict. Now, there is a freshman my EXACT age. We checked. It's crazy. People always say we act alike, but then, after getting to know us, I turn out to be more mature (go me. I'm also very modest, and rule most of the world). When someone first told us this, I was surprised, and asked the freshman what he thought of this (we're just friends, not even really good ones). He said something that, although painfully obvious, stuck in my head for a while: one year in school makes a lot of difference. It's true, too. I mean, there's this one senior that I could've gone out with, but I decided not to. Why? Because of age difference (only two years), and the fact that it would only be a semester-long relationship . So, my thought is that if they're more than two (or three) years IN SCHOOL older/younger than you, don't even try. I know a lot of you would tell me that's not true, but I guarantee there's an even larger number that can testify to what I said.
    Finally, there's my handy rule: when in doubt, use percentages. I prefer to use 75% as a MAX age difference, but 60% (or 50% for lazy children) works OK, too.
    Then there's the "maturity" issue. I sorta covered this in the school part, but I gotta add some things to it. Now, there's one main thing about this: maturity counts for a lot, but let's be real here. Maturity isn't gonna make up for a 50% age difference. Also, "maturity" is a very subjective thing.
    That's all I gotta say, good thread by the way!
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  3. #43
    Newbie Stormraven may be famous one day Stormraven may be famous one day
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    While I'm in agreement that age itself isn't an issue there are two things that I believe are.

    First, the simple fact is that between adolesence and the early twenties is when a person does the fastest changing. Personalities, goals, and values are developed or altered, sometimes almost overnight. But once past this stage, most people aren't likely to alter substantially. The risk one runs in becoming involved with someone before the've jelled, so to speak, is that as they age they may become someone that, however much you love them, you just can't sustain a relationship with. This is true whether there's a difference of two days or two decades. And lets face it, most teens just aren't mature enough or responsible enough to handle an adult relationship. Their still learning to be adults. Would anyone begrudge them that learning time? Or the time too be a kid?

    Second is the fact (and the reason there's a cultural bias against large age gaps in relationships) that age is a good general guide to maturity levels. There are exceptions. Of course there's exceptions! For every exception there is a rule. For a reason. And can anyone here truthfully argue that unequal maturity levels don't put strain on a relationship?

    All this assumes that both partners are genuinely committed and loving, and not out to gratify their own ego - in either direction - as is to often the case.

    That said - there are exceptions and the only ones it concerns are the people involved (and if young enough, the parents who have the responsibilty of looking out for there child.) But remember that society, for all its predjudice and disdain, has good reasons for those predjudices, the primary reasons being protection of the innocents and the prevention of self-destrutive marriages.

  4. #44
    Lost in confusion Tetrix 2 v2 Champion Sazzy is making a name for themselves Sazzy is making a name for themselves Sazzy's Avatar
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    I recently fancy a guy who is 28 years old, ten years older than me, my friends say go for it and asking him out for a drink but i an still in the unsure stage. We do have quite a bit in common, we are both from the Isle of Wight and we are both in the worship band at church... What do yuo guys think....
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    Lady Barronmore Arrianna has become well known Arrianna has become well known Arrianna has become well known Arrianna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dancy_SAZ
    I recently fancy a guy who is 28 years old, ten years older than me, my friends say go for it and asking him out for a drink but i an still in the unsure stage. We do have quite a bit in common, we are both from the Isle of Wight and we are both in the worship band at church... What do yuo guys think....
    Sounds like you have have a good basis for a relationship. With the age difference though I would suggest becoming his friend first. Group settings are usually the most succesful when it comes to getting to know someone. There is also the mental development that Stormraven mentions. According to specialists you will be going through the most changes mentally in the next 3 years then you have in the rest of your life, by the time your 21 you may not be the same person anymore. I guess what I'm saying is see if you can get some kind of group activity going that you can invite him to. That way there is a lot less pressure on both of you, you're more likely to have a good time, and you can take things easy and see how they go.

    Luck

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    personally I think that age shouldnt matter, but hey with the way society is going, age does matter. So I say, if the ages ranges from 3-6 years apart, I dont see such a big issue, as long as you're both at a legal age. Now if it was a 14 yr. old going out with a 20-22 yr old, errr...if I were the parents, I take a second look at my son/daughters relationship with this particular person. Then again, restating myself that, age shouldnt matter, becuz we cant help who we love.
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  7. #47
    Newbie cowboy rin may be famous one day cowboy rin may be famous one day
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    looks like the general opinion is if your young, Age DEFINITELY matters. You can be 16, think you very mature, say how you've had such and such experiences, but come 4 years later and you reflect back you'll be saying "damn I didn't know anything". Hence the saying "listen to your elders".

    If i see some young person, even 18-19 going out with someone thats like 28, theres definitely something else going on here. Why'd that person just create contact with such and such and be so interested? Their at such complete different stages in their life. One starting school, the other already with their career going. Could be gold digger, pervert, can't handle mature man or woman so they look for young ones, tons of different things. But hey, you won't know unless your there, and i'm not your friend and i don't want to go with you so do whatever the hell you want.

  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arrianna
    Sounds like you have have a good basis for a relationship. With the age difference though I would suggest becoming his friend first. Group settings are usually the most succesful when it comes to getting to know someone. There is also the mental development that Stormraven mentions. According to specialists you will be going through the most changes mentally in the next 3 years then you have in the rest of your life, by the time your 21 you may not be the same person anymore. I guess what I'm saying is see if you can get some kind of group activity going that you can invite him to. That way there is a lot less pressure on both of you, you're more likely to have a good time, and you can take things easy and see how they go.

    Luck
    Yeah, i would like to get to know more and see.. But i am not one for just jumping into a relationship with some stranger! they do have to be mates first!
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