I know exactly what your going through. For I guess my first 15 years of life on this Earth, I had no identity. I drown myself in video games, and fantasy. I even came to the point at age 16 and 17 to create my own fantasy, which is now my game idea RPG. I have recently stopped creating it, because I finally found what I was looking for, a purpose. I thought that I would make video games one day, but began writing, then writing poetry, and well here I am. I'm well loved for my poems, and I finally have the love of my life. What i'm trying to say is, don't let the past beat you up... instead learn from it, if possible, and make the most of the choices you have made. I may not be in college, but I can create with the best of them, because I have heart. Harness your talents, and grasp the things in reach, and everything will turn out fine.... and a little faith doesn't hurt either...lol. Good luck to you in everuthing that you do.